(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, revered Teacher! Greetings, fellow practitioners! The following is my report to Teacher and fellow practitioners on my experience in validating the Fa during the past year.
I'm a divorced middle-aged female practitioner. I shared my lesson of getting up again after falling down and published it in the first Mainland China Falun Dafa Practitioners Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference on the Internet. What I wrote about this time is how, after having gone through all this suffering, I resumed my solid practice and overcame difficulties to walk my own path of validating Dafa.
After my divorce, I had neither a place to live nor any income. Besides, I had to pay almost 20,000 yuan tuition every year for my son in college. I felt helpless and thought that life was too hard. It was at that time that fellow practitioners extended their helping hands. They helped me in my everyday life and helped me to better understand principles of the Fa. After re-studying the Fa, I gradually broke away from all the worries and started to recognize seriously that I am a Dafa practitioner in the Fa-rectification period. I shouldn't experience everyday people's suffering all the time. It was also at that time that my relative's family, whom I temporarily stayed with, decided to let me stay there long-term. They asked me to do housework for them and said they would give me several hundred yuan as spending money. My son could also stay with me when he came back from school. They even promised me that they wouldn't be against my practice of Falun Dafa.
Now that I had a stable life and a stable environment for cultivating, I calmed down to study the Fa and looked into myself. Surprisingly, I found that it seemed that I hadn't paid attention to solid cultivation at all. I didn't understand the real meaning of cultivation, either. I was only grateful and was doing things with strong human sentiments. I found Master's article, "Towards Consummation" and recited it repeatedly. From the article, I realized that it was because I had human attachments for a long time and didn't let go of them, that the old forces took advantage of me. Once I realized it, I put my understanding into action. Since then, I have let go of many human attachments. I was no longer worried about the fact that I have no family or have no money or house for my son's marriage. Except for doing well in the housework for my relatives, I spent all my time in doing the three things every day.
I clarified the truth very carefully and calmly. Whether it was sending out truth clarifying materials or clarifying the truth face to face, in addition to doing a lot of it, I paid more attention to achieving high quality results. Most people who listened to me clarifying the truth accepted it. One time while walking on the street, I ran into the police officer who once locked me up. I greeted him immediately and told him the facts about Dafa while sending forth righteous thoughts. Before we parted, I gave him a truth-clarification CD, and he accepted it.
In the course of clarifying the truth to people, I clearly realized that the Dafa materials from the materials production center didn't fully meet people's needs to learn the truth about Dafa, both in terms of quality and quantity. I could only clarify the truth intermittently if I relied on our area's materials production center. I was anxious about this situation (later on I learned that some practitioners had already set up a small information base in their own homes). I was anxious because I felt that I couldn't make truth-clarification materials while living in someone else's home. In this anxious state, I made up my mind: No matter how huge the difficulty I face, it cannot stop me from walking my path of validating the Fa and saving sentient beings.
In order to be able to conveniently make truth-clarification materials, I planned to move out. I told my relatives my thoughts about moving out. They mistakenly thought that I was not satisfied with living with them. When I explained that it was not because of that, they still persuaded me to stay with them, saying that they already thought of me and my son as their own family members and were really not happy about my leaving. I was very touched. I was moved at their heartfelt acceptance of me, and I was moved at the benevolence of Master. I also felt that I shouldn't leave this home and that I should stay here and do what I needed to do.
After I made the decision, I found an older practitioner who had the heart to work with me a long time ago and another practitioner (this practitioner also made truth-clarification materials herself) to work with me. With the help of other practitioners and the older practitioner who took out a part of her small retirement pension, we soon bought a copy machine. The fellow practitioner moved the machine to her home on her own initiative. Not too long after, however, considering that the practitioner still had the responsibility as a coordinator, that she was already over 70 years old, and that I should do this thing myself, I moved the machine to my room. At first I was afraid that my relatives wouldn't be happy if they saw this, so I always made the truth-clarification materials in a hurry while they were out. After making the materials, I would quickly put away the machine. Sometimes I felt that this way of working was not convenient or efficient. I thus sent forth a righteous thought: Don't allow anyone who has nothing to do with this work enter my room. As a result, since then, nobody has entered my room except for fellow practitioners.
There was a computer in the room where I lived at that time. The computer belonged to my hosts' child, who only used it to play games during holidays. The fellow practitioner who helped me in purchasing the copy machine encouraged me to use the computer. She told me that the truth clarifying materials would be of much better quality, and we could make larger quantities, after the machine was connected to the computer. The fellow practitioner advised me to buy a flash drive to make the materials and burn CDs when I couldn't connect to the Internet. She promised to teach me how to use the computer.
The righteous thoughts and selflessness of the fellow practitioner encouraged me. But I still had a little doubt: Is it possible? I don't even know the characters on the keyboard. I live in other people's home. It's fine if I quickly make some materials using the copy machine that is not connected to the computer and then hide it when they are not at home. But if the machine is connected to the computer, and the relatives enter my room, I won't even have time to hide the machine. What would I do if they become angry at me about this? At that time, many human thoughts emerged. After thinking about it, my righteous thoughts finally overcame the human thoughts. I was well prepared: I decided that if my relatives were against what I was doing, I would then move out. Nothing would change except that my life might become a little harder. And what I was doing would incur no harm to my relatives. I decided to accept the fellow practitioner's suggestion.
Thus, I found a dictionary and looked up the letters on the keyboard one by one. I memorized them in a short time. The fellow practitioner then patiently taught me. In less than half an hour, I already learned to make simple truth clarifying materials and booklets. I knew that everything comes from our benevolent Master. From then on, Master often gave me hints through the copy machine or through the words from people around me. In the course of making the materials, I let go of many human mentalities and experienced many extraordinary things. When I had attachments and was not diligent, the copy machine either jammed or had no reaction and didn't work. Through my studying the Fa, sharing with other practitioners, and sending forth righteous thoughts, problems were rectified right away.
Under Master's benevolent protection and fellow practitioner's selfless help, this year, in addition to providing myself with all kinds of truth clarifying materials, I also helped solve other practitioners' problems of shortages of materials. At the same time, my xinxing was upgraded a lot. My cultivation environment also improved a lot. The debt others owed me, my share from my divorce, which had been very hard to get back, was almost completely paid to me.
Now I don't need to secretly make truth-clarifying materials as I did before. It seems that my relatives knew about it long before and simply pretended that they don't know. One day, my relative talked about it with me. He asked, "If I was against you doing it, would you leave?" I said, "Yes. Since it is your home, I wouldn't want to bring trouble to you. But it is the most righteous thing that I should do." He said to me with a smile, "If you want to oppose the CCP (Chinese Communist Party), you can do it. I won't interfere with you. Anyway, the CCP is not a good thing. But you should be careful about your safety." I knew that I hadn't clarified the truth well to him. I thus explained to him, "It's not that our intent is to oppose the evil party, it is because it has persecuted and killed so many nice people, and they are still behaving like a gangsters. The party has framed and slandered Falun Dafa and "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance." We disclose its evil nature for the purpose of stopping the persecution and clarifying the truth to people. If the party hadn't persecuted Dafa, no matter how bad it was, we wouldn't touch it." Although my relative couldn't completely understand what I said, he accepted it nonetheless. By now, some of his family members have already withdrawn from the evil party.
By this time, I regard my relatives' home as my own home. In this family, I do everything according to the standard of a practitioner and fully think of them first in everything. They all respect me. Each time my son comes back home from college, they always give him some money. They often privately call my son and ask him if he has enough money. On holidays or during the Chinese New Year, whatever they bought for their own son, they also bought the same things for my son. In this family, whose members are not blood relatives of mine, we live together in perfect harmony. They expressed that they hope I will live with them indefinitely if I don't remarry. Now I can do whatever what I need to do, every day. They always give me money without any mistrust, for me to arrange the daily household expenditures. I am presently in a situation that I couldn't even imagine before. I know that everything is what Master has prearranged for me.
Through my cultivation path over these years, I have deeply realized that cultivation is very serious and sacred, and it shouldn't be treated with even a little pretense or wish for luck. The situation wherein Master observes that we "...keep tripping over yourselves" ("Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference" 2005) is all due to our having human attachments. If Dafa practitioners in the Fa-rectification period can let go of human attachments in all things, do everything with righteous thoughts, and truly melt into Dafa, we shouldn't have any major tribulations. I know that I haven't done enough. I am far away from the standard of the Fa, and far behind those diligent fellow practitioners.
I'm also thinking that if every true practitioner can let go of human attachments and selfishness, put more of their mind into doing the three things, and can learn to not wait for or rely on others, we can then save more people and also make our path of validating the Fa become wider and wider. As Master said,
"Dafa disciples won't be validating the Fa forever here in the human world, for the time when the Fa rectifies the human world will definitely arrive. Soon the Fa-rectification that Dafa is doing in the cosmos will draw to a close." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York")
If we waste our limited time pursuing the so-called happy life of everyday people, holding onto Buddhahood on the one hand while still attached to human nature on the other, how can we return to our true home? We should grasp this time period that is precious beyond measure and not create any regrets for our eternal life. Do well what we should do and be worthy of Master's merciful and arduous salvation.
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