(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Falun Dafa in mid-2002.
I Greatly Desired to Practice Falun Gong and be a Fa-Rectification Period Dafa Practitioner
The first time I wanted to read Zhuan Falun, my husband said, "Don't read it! You will lose your mind and become obsessed by it." I replied, "Do you believe what people have told you and no longer trust your own opinion? I will not become what you fear. I trust myself."
My husband said to me when I was getting ready to read the book a second time, "See! You want to read it again. You have become addicted to it. You had better not turn into what the media has told us, one who self-immolates, commits suicide or jumps off a building. Our family will be ruined." I told my husband, "You are wrong. After reading Teacher's precious book, I learned the value of life and I will no longer be confused like I used to be."
After I finished reading the book a second time, my husband told me, "Are you going to join this religion? You can join whichever religion you want, if you think it's good." My husband's job brought with it certain requirements, which included that no one could practice Falun Gong. If I practiced Falun Gong, he might lose his job and future. It might bring misfortune to the family.
I remained firm, "I want to practice Falun Gong. This precious book is what I have always dreamed of and now I have found it. I just want to practice Falun Gong." My husband knew me well enough not to argue and compromised. He said, "Practice quietly at home. Keep it secret and don't go to Beijing." I knew in my heart that I would decide when it was time for me to go to Beijing.
When I read the section "People with Great Inborn Quality" in Zhuan Falun, I was sure that I had experienced all that was described in the section, if not more. How come I learned of Dafa so late? I asked the practitioner who introduced Dafa to me and she told me that we are practitioners of the Fa-rectification period. I was stunned and thought, "I want to be a Fa-rectification Dafa practitioner. I can do what you can do." From that moment, I sent forth righteous thoughts and was very diligent in studying the Fa. I followed Teacher's principles. I cultivated my xinxing and eliminated attachments.
One day I dreamed that Teacher was leaving with sentient beings in a car. I panicked and grabbed the side of the car. Then, I woke up and understood Teacher's hint. If I studied diligently, I would not be left behind.
Making my Family Understand that Dafa Is Good
Whenever our finances permitted, I gave practitioners money for truth clarification materials. I thought, "I obtained this great Fa like other practitioners. This Fa is great and the evil is slandering it. We need to help all sentient beings to know the truth. We have to bring justice to Teacher and the Fa." I was a new practitioner with a family background that could have brought danger to other practitioners. Therefore, other practitioners often kept me in the dark and did not tell me everything, fearing that I might bring trouble. I couldn't help much. I longed to read Teacher's other lectures but I couldn't obtain them. During the first year, I had only Zhuan Falun and a hand-copied Hong Yin.
Finally, I met a veteran practitioner who was not worried about my background and eager to help me. She gave me all of Teacher's lectures, and the ones she didn't have, she borrowed from other practitioners. I was able to read almost all of Teacher's lectures. This helped me advance more rapidly. I also began to distribute truth clarification materials and clarify the truth.
One time, after sending forth righteous thought, a little practitioner who could see with his third eye told me that the energy I released was enormous. He also had seen that each time I eliminated many of the evil beings. This boosted my confidence in the practice even more.
From the beginning, I diligently followed what Teacher said,
"Study the Fa and gain the Fa,
Focus on how you study and cultivate,
Let each and every thing
be measure against the Fa.
Only then, with that,
is it actually cultivation."
("Solid Cultivation" in Hong Yin)
I always observed other practitioners in the hope that this would help me discover my attachments. I was unwilling to lag behind. When practitioners said they had all been to Beijing to validate the Fa, I wanted to go too. But, I thought that my family and friends were not practitioners and didn't understand the Fa, especially my husband.
When I studied, "Cultivation paths are different, Yet all are within Dafa." ("No Obstacles" in Hong Yin II). I realized that my cultivation path did not include validating the Fa in Beijing. If I went to Beijing, I might bring losses and trouble to local practitioners, and to people with a predestined relationship. I might cause them to misunderstand the Fa. I thought, "I'm not going to Beijing at this time. First I must be a good person in all things I do. I must harmonize my environment and help people around me understand the beauty of Dafa."
When I didn't do something well, my husband asked me, "Did your Teacher ask you to do this?" In the past, I wouldn't admit to my faults. Now that I have changed, it is different. I am a Dafa practitioner and my behavior and words represent Dafa and Teacher. I can't let him misunderstand Dafa and say things disrespectful of Teacher. I immediately explained, "No, it's my fault. I didn't do well and thanks for pointing it out." I reacted like this when I ran into conflicts or didn't do things well. At the same time, I looked within, apologized and no longer repeated such behavior. Sometimes I even asked my husband to help me recognize my attachments and to explain to me why he felt that I had done wrong. Thus, he was helping me improve.
I am the second child in the family. By brothers and sisters didn't care much about my parents, while I did care about them wholeheartedly. Their children were all grownups. My children were young and my husband was very busy with his job. He began to complain about my going to my parents' house all the time, "Stop worrying about your parents. Just do something symbolic. Your relatives don't care and you are working so hard. This makes me feel sorry for you." I told him I practice Falun Dafa now and my Teacher asked me to be a better person. I can't let my relatives misunderstand Teacher and Dafa. I thanked him for worrying about me.
I treated everyone with compassion. I used to have a temper and was very impetuous. Once my brother and his wife quarreled, and she said something hurtful to my mother and me. I hit her. After that, though my sister-in-law pretended she didn't care, I knew that she hated me. She excused herself from family gatherings. She didn't even know what my apartment looked like. I wanted to tell her about Falun Dafa, but my mother thought my sister-in-law would report me and stopped me from telling her about it.
The day my mother died, I apologized to my sister-in-law about my behavior that had caused her unhappiness. I fearlessly told her that my mother and I practiced Falun Gong. I told her of the preciousness of Dafa. In the end, I asked her what kind of power could have eliminated my attachment to fighting. She replied without thinking, "God." She was so certain that I nodded my head and cried.
I frequently moved my sister-in-law with my compassion. One day she came to my house and asked me why her neck hurt so badly after she listened to Teacher's lecture on the tapes. I told her Teacher is taking care of her and cleansing her body.
In other people's eyes, I was very obedient and devoted to my parents. However, I wanted to repay my debt to them and at times I had problems dealing with this. That was especially true when I dealt with my father. My parents traumatized me so much in the past that I thought I could not find a reason to forgive them. After my mother passed away, my father apologized for the harsh things he had said to me. I no longer held any hatred and apologized to my father for my faults. My father was in tears. He kept repeating that it was his fault.
One day my husband asked me if I would jump off a building, commit suicide, or set myself on fire if Teacher asked me to do so, so I could reach consummation. I patiently explained to him that the Tiananmen self-immolation was staged by Jiang's followers in the Chinese communist party, and that those who jumped off the building or committed suicide were not Falun Gong practitioners. I told him he was also a victim whose mind had been poisoned by the government's propaganda. He should read Teacher's Fa because Teacher said that killing or committing suicide was not allowed. It did not matter how one committed suicide, it created karma. Because of me, my husband did not participate in persecuting Falun Gong practitioners and he sometimes even told his subordinates, "Why mistreat practitioners all the time? You should catch those who commit wrongdoings."
Practice with Little Practitioners
When I began to practice Falun Gong, my son begged me to stop. He cried and said, "Mom, please don't practice Falun Gong. You will abandon me." I reasoned with my son and told him that his mother would become the nicest person in the world. I validated the Fa with my behavior and eliminated all the evil behind him, so he could understand the truth.
One day my son told me he wanted to practice Falun Gong. I asked him whether he knew what "practicing" means. He said, "Mom, I know everything." I asked him what he meant by "everything." He said in a serious manner, "Mom, please don't be sad about what I will tell you. You are not my mother. Thank you for giving birth to me. I came here to do... My mother lives in heaven and sometimes I go up and play there for a while. I came here to assimilate to the Fa and so did you."
Because I had an attachment concerning my mother's practice, I allowed the black minions and rotten demons exploit this gap and they took away her life. Of course there were some other reasons. I thus at one time ignored my son's practice and he frequently said, "I won't practice because I don't have time to play."
After my mother passed away, my son explicitly told me he would no longer practice. He stopped doing the exercises, studying the Fa, and distributing the truth-clarifying materials. I became very frustrated about this situation.
I intensified my Fa study and sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the dark minions and rotten demons that prevented my son from being a diligent practitioner. I helped him find his attachment, "You always complain that it takes too long to exercise. You are afraid of suffering." He finally admitted his attachment of laziness and that he had thus allowed the dark minions to exploit this gap.
One time my son did the exercises while I wasn't home. When he was about to start the 5th exercise, a dark minion told him, "I will strangle you if you practice." My son was scared and asked, "Who are you?" It told my son it was his former teacher and it prohibited him from practicing.
My son turned to Teacher's picture and said his name, "I don't care whose disciple I was before. From now on I am your disciple. Whenever I study the Fa and exercise, someone always tells me that he/she was my teacher and spoils my practice. I am your disciple and will now acknowledge only you as my teacher. It interferes with my practicing Dafa and it is persecuting me. It is the dark minion. Please help me eliminate it."
I also kept sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate my son's persecution by the dark minions and rotten demons. I also asked Teacher to strengthen my power and finally helped my son to eliminate this type of persecution. Later I took my son to Beijing twice to eliminate evil.
Be an Unwavering Dafa Practitioner during the Fa-Rectification Period
At one time, a veteran practitioner I knew enlightened on a wicked path and became very confused. Another practitioner, also a veteran practitioner, became very aggressive and had a lot of interference and problems in his practice. Compassionate Teacher gave me a hint in a dream. I dreamed I was in a bicycle race carrying my son on my back. I passed many people, who were all alone on their bikes. My son and I won the race. During the race, I saw an old man who fell off his bike when making a turn. He made a loud noise and his eyes were bleeding. I woke up and realized that it was my responsibility to help practitioners I knew, especially this senior practitioner. I couldn't just focus on my son.
After reading Teacher's "My Version of a 'Stick Wake-up'," I understood that the "senior disciples," the "new disciples," and the "Fa-rectification disciples" all made their own choice of becoming disciples. I told myself, "I am not a senior disciple, nor a new disciple, I choose to be an unwavering Fa-rectification disciple."
I intensified my truth-clarification efforts. I told everyone I knew, as well as those I didn't know, whenever I had the opportunity to clarify the truth about Falun Dafa. Sometimes I only spoke to one person, but I didn't think that it was too few. Sometimes I talked to a dozen or more people. I gave out or posted truth-clarifying materials whenever I could. I behaved like a true Fa-rectification Dafa practitioner.
I still held regrets, because there was so much to do and I was still not doing as well as I felt I should. Therefore, I wrote this article. It helped me look inward, get rid of attachments, and share with other practitioners.
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