(Clearwisdom.net) I frequently go with fellow practitioners to distribute Falun Dafa truth-clarifying materials. Each time I go, I try my best to maintain strong righteous thoughts. However, as we all still have human attachments, we often have friction in terms of differences in opinions and perspectives, and we thus expose our attachments. In the midst of these setbacks, I continue to become more and more selfless and elevate my xinxing in the process.
When I saw a fellow practitioner place two sets of truth-clarifying materials separately in two bicycle sheds right next to each other, in my heart I thought that she should not waste the flyers by leaving too many in a single area. I wanted to criticize her but I changed my mind and thought, "I should not blame her. She is only trying to distribute more flyers so that more people can read them. She was not intending to waste the flyers on purpose. If I criticize her, wouldn't I be acting unkindly to her and hurting her feelings?" I let go of this intention to criticize her and just beckoned her to come along. I told her nicely that there was no need to place the flyers at every bicycle shed, especially when they were next to each other; that placing one flyer would do. She agreed and we moved on.
When I saw that a fellow practitioner kept moving towards dark places to hide in the shadows, I thought in my heart that she was timid and had the attachment of fear. I thought of pulling her away from the shadows so that she would not continue to hide. But I changed my mind and thought to myself, "She still had the attachment of fear, and if I try to make her let go of it and insist that she do what I want, won't it backfire?" For the time being she was unable to elevate in this matter. I should be more forgiving for a while. Everyone needs to go through the process of letting go of all kinds of attachments, and I should let her have her chance to cultivate.
I no longer felt critical of her, and I held her in a more relaxed manner. Unknowingly, we walked towards brighter places and smiled at one another from time to time. It was as though we were not under any stress and we had the feeling that what we were doing is the best, most aboveboard and most important matter of saving sentient beings, that no interference would be able to succeed. At the same time, we sent forth righteous thoughts and eliminated the interference.
While distributing materials, I would consciously count how many I had distributed. When the flyers in my bag were all distributed, I would announce proudly, "I have no more." Hidden deeply was the attachment of showing off and getting credit, as though I was very capable. I realized this attachment of mine and quickly corrected myself. I stopped counting and stopping emphasizing myself. Instead, I thought, "I will try my best to work well with others and distribute flyers to where they are most needed."
When I was placing flyers into mailboxes, a fellow practitioner stopped me and said, "Some mailboxes are not locked. Don't put flyers in such mailboxes or it will be a waste." I felt wronged because, when I distributed flyers, I did pay attention to see which mailboxes were good before placing them. Thus I argued with him and I felt very unhappy. After a while, I understood that the fellow practitioner was being kind to remind me. He was standing too far away to see what I was doing, and he had no ill intentions. Why must I stress that what I was doing was correct? Isn't this kind of insistence a reflection that I had not become truly selfless? That I cannot be wronged? I let go of this attachment and, while distributing the flyers, I checked more carefully that the mailboxes were good. I also let go of my attachment to fear and the resultant flustered feeling.
A fellow practitioner gave me a ride on his motorbike when we distributed flyers together. He braked suddenly, and I almost fell off the vehicle. I blamed him for being careless. He said that there was something wrong with the motorbike, and that the brakes were not good. However, I was still angry, and it was only after a long time that my anger subsided. I thought in my heart, "Have I let go of the attachment to fear of death that a sudden braking of the vehicle would scare me like this?" I continued to emphasize my own safety. My fellow practitioner was driving the motorbike, and, being the driver, isn't he in a more dangerous position than I? Yet I still blamed him. I did not manage to be considerate of others and think of others first at all times. I kept on emphasizing myself, and thus this was selfishness. After I found out about my selfishness, each time we go out I send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate all interference and to always be considerate towards my fellow practitioner. Our cooperation became more and more harmonious.
Regardless of which fellow practitioner I went out with, I frequently reminded myself, "Think of the big picture, place the importance on my fellow practitioner and be selfless. I also want to be forgiving in all matters and tolerant. When my fellow practitioner performs better than I, I will try my best to elevate myself and catch up. When my fellow practitioner performs worse than I, I will be forgiving, tolerant, and guide her kindly. Whether I am giving praise or criticism, I will maintain a calm and peaceful manner." Our task of distributing flyers was done more and more smoothly.
December 2, 2005
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