(Clearwisdom.net)
At the end of 2000, when the persecution of Falun Gong reached its peak, I graduated from school and landed a job as a TV station reporter in China. Not long after I started work, I was asked to write a news report to attack Falun Gong.
At that time, I was very puzzled because I did not even know what Falun Gong was all about. What should I write then? I had no idea, so I flipped through piles of newspaper articles and copied something from them, just to finish the assignment. Later my editor told me, "You even spelled the name of Falun Gong's founder wrong."
I thought the wave of attacks on Falun Gong would soon fade, just like other political movements. However, for a whole month, the entire country's press was bombarding Falun Gong. Everywhere you turned, you would see news slandering Falun Gong, and the format of the news was all very similar. The interviewees, from five-year-olds to seniors, were arranged to speak in front of the camera, reciting the scripts that were given to them beforehand. If they recited something wrong, they had to start all over again and re-shoot the footage. At that time, I didn't know the truth about Falun Gong yet, but the way the authorities forced people to defame Falun Gong really made me sick. At the same time, I also felt scared that China would do such a thing.
One month later, the amount of news attacking Falun Gong suddenly diminished. I felt relieved. I also noticed people around me were able to take a deep breath. I realized that I was not the only one who did not want to do such news. Later when similar things came up, my colleagues all tried to avoid taking assignments on Falun Gong related news. I remember there was a young reporter about my age, who would rather go report events with some danger, rather than stay in the office to fabricate news to slander Falun Gong.
Two years later, I got to know my future husband. Soon we got married and immigrated to Canada. After we arrived in Canada, my husband tried to create opportunities for me to get to know about Falun Gong. In the beginning, I wasn't able to accept Falun Gong. After all, I had been poisoned by the CCP's lies for three years. So my husband asked me to observe him practicing the Falun Gong exercises. Only then did I learn he was a Falun Gong practitioner. I gradually began to accept Falun Gong.
Now I have been practicing for over two months. Even though it was a mere two months, I experienced a lot. My right arm was injured when I fell off a roof eighteen years ago. Since then, I could not lift my right arm very high; otherwise, it would hurt. Not long after I obtained the Fa, I was doing the exercises one day when I heard a sound in my right arm. In that instant, my arm stopped aching. I was so thrilled that I jumped around. I knew I developed the attachment of zealotry but I just couldn't help it.
Several days later, however, my right arm began to ache again. After discussing with my husband, I realized I needed to improve my xinxing.
I wanted my family to also practice Falun Gong. But when I talked to them on the phone, since I was impatient, the effect wasn't good at all. They still had reservations about and even disrespect for Dafa, and I almost broke into a fight with them. Now I realize that I was using a human mentality when talking with them. I didn't speak from the perspective of the Fa, which is why they couldn't accept Dafa. Then how could I talk from the point of view of the Fa? I didn't know what to do. My husband told me that Teacher has required practitioners to do three things well. I came to understand that if I can remove my attachments, I wouldn't use a human mentality to clarify the truth.
I feel there are still lots of conflicts in my life. Sometimes I know that some of the things I do are not so good, but it's not that easy to stop doing them. For instance, I am a very picky shopper. When I go to buy vegetables, I always fear that the vegetables are not that fresh. So I spend lots of time trying to find the freshest vegetables. In other words, I don't want to be taken advantage of. I know this is an attachment and I should remove it. But sometimes I can do well, while at other times I can't. I know I still need to study the Fa more in order to get rid of my attachments.
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