(Clearwisdom.net) I obtained the Fa in August of 1996. After practicing the exercises for the first time, Teacher purified my body. I felt very light and happy. I knew that I had learned the true purpose of life and my heart became so peaceful.
During my personal cultivation period, my family respected my belief, and we all enjoyed the happiness endowed on us by the sacred Fa.
On July 20, 1999, the Chinese government suddenly started persecuting Falun Gong. At first, I did not know what to do. I needed to think calmly about my cultivation path over the previous three years. I considered other practitioners that I knew, what they had experienced and all the changes that I had experienced both physically and spiritually. I felt very fortunate that I had taken the path of cultivation. Teacher said in the article "Rationality," "...those who attack goodness are bound to be evil." (Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I decided to go to Beijing to appeal to the government about the persecution of Falun Gong. On the train to Beijing, I met a mother and son who were also on their way to Beijing to appeal. The son worked at the Public Security Bureau. They said that they wanted to say a fair word for Falun Gong. However, once in Beijing, I realized that there was nowhere to appeal. We went to the Appeals Office, but we were forced into a police van as soon as we said that we were appealing for Falun Gong. At the Public Security office, I met practitioners from various provinces throughout the country. We all had tears in our eyes. Although we did not say a word, we held hands together. I was soon sent back to my hometown and detained in the local detention center. During my detention, my wife [who does not practice Falun Gong] could not take the intense pressure of all the persecution and attempted to commit suicide. Fortunately she was sent to the hospital in time, but there are many other families in China who face a similar situation and are still suffering.
In April of 2001, the authorities damaged a truth-clarification materials production site in our area. I was arrested a second time.
During the detention, I faced numerous tests that targeted my attachments, but nothing could change my determined heart. At that time, my grandfather was suffering from late-stage lung cancer. On one occasion my mother asked my grandmother to visit me in jail. During the visit she cried the whole time. She told me that my grandfather desperately wanted to see me before he died. She asked me to write a repentance statement so that I could be released. She then cried again, sat on the floor and refused to get up. I told her that I also wanted to get out, but I could not say things against my conscience to do so. I said I would go home in a dignified manner. The next afternoon, my parents and my wife took me home. When I left, the police at the detention center told the head of the court in my town, "He was still practicing the exercises at noon today. You need to keep a close eye on him."
Once I got home, I saw that my family members had all become gaunt due to the tremendous pressure of the persecution and from the misunderstanding of society. My mother had attempted suicide several times. I deeply understood the brutal torture of practitioners and their families.
My family closely watched over me and tried to stop me from going outside by myself. I had to study the Fa and practice the exercises secretly. At one point I felt very desperate. At that moment I finally realized why the old forces used excuses to put me into a detention center. What a strong attachment to sentimentality I had! I thought of the pain my wife suffered when she was hospitalized after attempting suicide, and the pressure my parents sustained after my arrest. This heart of fearing my family would suffer because of me, controlled me. My xinxing is like a container full of water. Adding even a little more water will cause it to overflow. On the one hand I wanted to rid myself of this attachment, and on the other hand this attachment was still continually controlling me. I had a deeper understanding of what Teacher said in the article, "True Cultivation:"
"Cultivation itself is not painful--the key lies in your inability to let go of ordinary human attachments. Only when you are about to let go of your reputation, interests, and feelings will you feel pain."
I gradually let go of my attachment to sentimentality through studying the Fa. After sharing with fellow practitioners, I enlightened to the understanding that I needed to clarify the truth to my family in a dignified manner and rectify my surrounding environment. I put "truth-clarification" flyers and VCDs on my neighbors' doors so that they could all see the truth of Falun Gong and the persecution. I told them about the spread of Falun Dafa all around the world and about the torture the practitioners suffered in detention. As my righteous thoughts became stronger, my attachment was getting weaker. The process of ridding myself of this attachment was also a process of improving my character. I felt that the entire exterior situation in my life at that time was pointing out this attachment.
Before, I did not have a clear understanding of Teacher's words in the article, "Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s):"
"All of you are already aware of the principle of mutual-generation and mutual-inhibition. If you are not afraid, the factor that would make you afraid will cease to exist."
In Teacher's article, "Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference," Teacher said:
"If you can all keep a calm and steady state of mind while being assaulted by strong words, and you're not at all affected, then see if those factors still exist."
I suddenly realized that if we do not have a certain attachment, the old forces will certainly not arrange tests that target our attachment. We must oppose this persecution and deny the arrangements of the old forces. We need to fundamentally let go of all human attachments and meet the requirements of Dafa at different levels. This process is also harmonizing what Teacher has asked us to do, including clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings.
As soon as I relinquished my attachment, my enlightened nature developed great compassion towards sentient beings. I constantly felt that I had not done enough to save them. Countless sentient beings and their corresponding boundless universes have already come to the edge of being destroyed. I can almost see the desperation in their eyes and feel the pain they feel knowing that they can no longer be saved. Many of these people used to be Teacher's relatives! We cannot give up on those who are still savable nor can we abandon our fellow practitioners who still have human attachments and have not stepped forward. No attachments can be brought to heaven. Those personal things that we cannot let go of, or do not wish to relinquish, are so insignificant compared to the magnificence of practitioners in the Fa-rectification period. However, those human attachments will eventually wear down our strong will to cultivate and save sentient beings. At this moment when the Fa rectification is about to come to an end, every practitioner is waking up the conscience of sentient beings with their great compassion, so that people can come to know the truth. When the Fa-rectification reaches the human world, I hope that every practitioner can say, "I always tried my best to save sentient beings, and I have no regrets."
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