(Clearwisdom.net) Since January I've become very busy with my job, having to work many more hours every day, sometimes even until midnight. During the weekends, all the members of our team needed to come in to work. Therefore, I couldn't stick to my original schedule of Fa study, practicing the exercises, and clarifying the truth. Eventually, I couldn't find time to practice the Falun Dafa exercises. I spent less time on Fa study. I had to skip many truth-clarification Dafa projects. I worked like a robot. I could only sleep for a few hours every day. The rest of time, I was working.
Some of my fellow practitioners reminded me of sending forth righteous thoughts to clear up the evil interference. I agreed that it was some form of interference. However, I didn't look at this issue from the Fa. Things turned dramatic in February. During the most critical week for my project at work, all my team members had flu symptoms. They had fevers and coughed badly. However, we were too busy for sick leave. Everyone still came in to work. Then, one of my engineers had some family issues and couldn't come in for the whole week. I had to pick up his work, which made my workload even heavier. I started to develop illness karma. My nose would bleed heavily for no apparent reason and wouldn't stop easily.
Meanwhile, one after another small tasks got assigned to my team. They were all high priority issues that demanded immediate attention. We had to work after normal office hours to get them done. Soon enough, my coworkers got fed up. They simply left for home the second it hit five o'clock, even when they hadn't finished their tasks for that day. I had to pick up more and more work for them. I tried my best and quietly did so. Several days in a row, I had to work until 2 a.m. to get everything done. However, just when I finished all of those tasks, new assignments arrived one after another, and I had to assume some of them myself because I was the only one with the required skills.
I started to realize my attachments. For example, I love my job. I like my coworkers and my boss. Therefore, I unintentionally developed attachments to my job and my working environment. When fellow practitioners lost their jobs, I felt lucky for my position even more. When I came to spot my attachments, I began to try my best to get rid of them. However, soon I got stuck in the cycle of digging out personal attachments and then trying to get rid of them. Meanwhile, my fear of attachments grew. I didn't look at my problems from the perspective of Fa rectification cultivation. When a Dafa practitioner fails to follow the Fa rectification progress and fails to clarify the truth, how many sentient beings might lose their final chance to get saved?
I came to understand this was prearranged by the old forces. All the environment and people were carefully set up to prey upon my heart. I tried to find a way out. I knew that I must do so. I knew there was a way. However, I didn't know how.
Later, a fellow practitioner said to me, "Don't think too much. You'd be better off not to think of your attachments. Simply work on the three things that Teacher asked us to do and do them well. Then you are walking down the path that Teacher arranged for you!" I immediately realized my problem. I made a schedule that I would follow strictly every day to study the Fa, practice the exercises, clarify the truth, send forth righteous thoughts, and etc. For example, I would use five minutes in my break time to practice the first set of exercises. I would send forth righteous thoughts as frequently as I could. I would mark on my schedule when I did follow my plan. Therefore, it's really easy for me to monitor how I did for the day.
March 20, 2005
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