(Clearwisdom.net)
Before I discovered Falun Dafa, for a long time, my husband would spend all his spare time gambling. I was fed up with our unharmonious marriage and wanted to divorce him. I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1996 when I was forty years old. Then I realized that divorcing my husband was not the correct way to solve the problem. I had to look within and get rid of the resentment I had towards him.
In 2002, the local police in our city started a large-scale arrest of Falun Dafa practitioners. I left home in order to avoid further persecution. While I was gone, my husband borrowed a lot of money at a very high interest rate and lost it all gambling. As he could not pay back the debt, he also fled our home. My son had to work several jobs to make a living.
In 2004, I accompanied my husband to visit some of our relatives and we borrowed five thousand yuan to pay back the debt. In March 2005, I was told that my husband had borrowed several hundred yuan from our neighbor and lost it gambling. Dozens of year's worth of complaints and resentment towards my husband immediately boiled up in my heart. I wanted to call all our relatives and friends to warn them not to lend him money again. I quickly calmed down, as I realized that would be an everyday person's solution. It wasn't a kind action and I should practice compassion at all times. I remembered that Teacher told us that we practitioners need to look inside during conflicts. When I thought about it, I realized that this unrighteous environment was a result of my not cultivating well. The old forces used it as an excuse to control my husband and keep him from making a positive change. The old forces take advantage of loopholes in our individual cultivation, notwithstanding our most important responsibilities for saving sentient beings. I resolved to strengthen my cultivation and be more righteous in order to eliminate the old forces' interference. Only then, can my family members and I get rid of the old forces' control and finally suffocate the evil.
When I came to realize this, my husband came back. I had a talk with him. I was surprised by my calmness. The resentment I had accumulated towards my husband over the past twenty years was gone. In the next a few days, my family environment changed. My husband swore he wouldn't gamble any more. He found a job and became so busy that he had no time to gamble.
When I ran into conflicts in the past, I didn't treat the interference with righteous thoughts and righteous actions. My husband was also affected and I caused some loss to Dafa, which I deeply regret. Cultivation is a serious matter. I must strengthen my personal cultivation during the Fa-rectification period.
On July 22 1999, the local police came to my home. They asked my husband, "Is Falun Dafa good?" He answered, "Yes." In 2000 when he came to the forced labor camp where I was detained, the policeman from the forced labor camp asked him, "Is Falun Dafa good?" He gave the same answer, "Yes." The policeman was infuriated and only allowed us to talk for a few minutes. My husband always told our friends and relatives, "Falun Dafa is good!" When I came back from the forced labor camp, my friends told me, "Your husband told us that Falun Dafa is good."
In September 2001, I was arrested again. One month later, I was released. After I came back, I continued to distribute truth-clarification materials. My husband said to me, "Before, I looked down upon you. Now I truly admire you. You are not afraid even though you were arrested three times." I didn't believe him. He then added, "I mean it."
I came to realize that when thoughts and actions are righteous, we can change our environment. I believe that one day my husband will also become a practitioner and be truly saved.
April 22, 2005
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Category: Improving Oneself
