(Clearwisdom.net) For a period of time after the persecution began (after July 20, 1999), I was fearful and I could not sit down to study the Fa with a calm mind. One day I had a dream and saw myself walking on a path in the mountains. Many people were ahead of me and they had passed a big boulder. When I was approaching the boulder, I lost my foothold and started to fall. I called to Master Li for help, but I still fell heavily on my bottom. I got up and said to Master, "Master, I still want to climb up. I am sure I can. I won't let you down."
After this, I looked inward. I knew this fall was caused by my writing the Guarantee Statement and by my attachments. Only then could I finally sit down and study the Fa and practice the exercises. Then Master encouraged me. Many times, when I was half asleep, I experienced my main consciousness leaving my body. When I was diligent, it would elevate higher and my energy would become stronger. I felt magnificent.
In 2000, I was detained for 15 days for appealing for justice for Falun Gong. Two other practitioners and I were locked up in a cell with common criminals. The police used the inmates to punish us.
One practitioner was beaten in Beijing by the local 610 Office personnel. During the beating, he did not feel the pain. He knew that Master Li was protecting him. He had no other thought in his mind. When this practitioner was sent back to the local detention center, he was locked up with an inmate who turned out to be one of his former classmates. Therefore, he was not beaten at all.
Another practitioner was also not beaten while he was in Beijing appealing for Dafa. He thought he did well and perhaps did not have much karma. Then, he was beaten up by several inmates. On inmate in particular, a man who had been sentenced to death, beat him viciously until he was exhausted. That man commented, "How come the Falun Gong practitioners can endure so much!" The practitioner was thinking about what Master said, "As a practitioner, the first thing you should be able to do is to not fight back when you are beaten or sworn at--you must be tolerant." (Chapter 9, Zhuan Falun) Where he was hit, he did not feel any pain; in fact, he experienced a warm sensation. He remained motionless throughout the ordeal.
As soon as I got in the cell, a young man jumped up and punched me. I dodged the punch. Then another punch landed on my upper arm, which was very painful. I shouted, "I am not here to be beaten up by you! I am a Falun Gong practitioner!" At that point, I had no fear at all. The cell was very quiet. The "Big Brother" [the head of the criminal inmates] in the cell asked me, "Why are you here?" I told him that I practiced Falun Gong and that I was arrested because I went to appeal for justice for Falun Gong. Then I told them what Falun Gong is and why we felt that we had to appeal. After that, the young man who hit me apologized to me. Everybody supported me in doing the Falun Gong exercises inside the cell, and would look out for me.
I now realize that it was righteous thoughts that helped us when we were in those dangerous situations. The old forces believed that practitioners did not have righteous thoughts and therefore they had to beat us up in order to bring out our righteous thoughts. Master Li does not acknowledge that, and we don't either. However, the kind of thoughts that practitioners have will produce corresponding results. I also experienced what Master said in his verse, "If a disciple has enough righteous thoughts, Master will have the power to save the disciple from any desperate situation." ("Gratitude of Master and Disciples," from Hong Yin II, unofficial translation)," and also what Master said in "Stop the Evil Acts with Righteous Thoughts":
"Everything Dafa disciples are doing at present is to save the world's people and all beings, to expose the persecution, and to put an end to the persecution. So you cannot accept any of the evil's persecutory acts, and even less should you allow the evil to do whatever it wants persecuting Dafa disciples. If the wicked policemen and the bad people can't be dissuaded and persist in doing evil, you can stop them with righteous thoughts. When Dafa disciples have strong righteous thoughts and no fear, they can use righteous thoughts to turn the tables on the evildoers."
Later on during detention, due to the fact that I was not clear about certain principles of Falun Dafa, and that I had selfish thoughts, coupled with my homesickness and the pressure from the evil, I became somewhat lost. In this situation, I wrote the Three Statements. When I was released, I found out that my family had been fined 10,000 yuan and my home had been ransacked. My family had burned all my Dafa books, and my salary had been reduced, with no chance of promotion for two years. My parents were dealt a heavy blow and all my relatives were under tremendous pressure as well. When I was released, I thought that I had not passed the test, and I lost hope. I gave up. I was depressed and believed that Master Li would not take care of me any more, so I behaved like an ordinary person.
Then I had a dream where I was walking up a mountain. Before I reached the top, black steam came up from the valley and dragged me from behind. I was falling down. I thought: "I am finished." While I was still falling, I called out for Master. Then I fell heavily at the foot of the mountain. I woke up and realized that Master had not given up on me. I felt the grace of Master again. There was still hope. I could feel Master's mercy in saving me.
I wanted to pick myself up, but I was not committed enough. I could not calm down enough to continue cultivating. But Master did not give up on me. In 2002, with the help of fellow practitioners and by reading articles on Minghui [the Chinese version of Clearwisdom], I came to see all my attachments and mistakes, and the evil nature of the old forces. I finally understood the three things that we are supposed to do. I understood what Master Li meant in his article, "Dafa Practitioners in the Fa Rectification Period" (Essentials for Further Advancement II):
"If you are still unclear about what a Fa-rectification disciple is, you won't be able to step forward in the current tribulation, and you will be led by the human world's pursuit of comfort to 'enlighten' along an evil path. Master's heart has always been pained by those who have fallen, and the majority of the fallen were ruined by that pursuit."
I realized that I had fallen behind. I made up my mind to catch up with the other practitioners. In 2002, I started to send forth righteous thoughts and felt waves of cold air coming out from my forehead. After a few times of sending righteous thoughts, my brain felt like it had been cleared. Since then, I could sit down to study the Fa with a calm mind and I realized that the righteous thoughts of practitioners are indeed powerful.
The above are some of the things I have experienced during my cultivation. When I fell, Master Li did not give up on me. I hope that those with similar experiences will come back, to become dignified and upright Falun Dafa practitioners.
May 14, 2005
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