(Clearwisdom.net) I am a Dafa practitioner from Laixi City. Recently, an incident happened in our Fa-study group. Fellow practitioner A wrote a letter to fellow practitioner B, discussing a shortcoming of B's, and brought it to her house. But practitioner B was not home. That night happened to be the time when we study the Fa together. After studying the Fa, practitioner A read her letter to B in the group. After the letter was read, almost all the fellow practitioners regarded themselves as being outside of the situation and did not think about how it pertained to them or that they should search inwards. As fellow practitioner B's shortcoming was mentioned in the letter, B could not tolerate it and left indignantly.
This incident may not seem like a big deal, but nevertheless, it has greatly affected me. The following is my limited understanding of what happened.
That night's Fa study and experience sharing led me to calm down and search inside myself. The inner search really shocked me. That night, I got home and could not fall asleep for a long time. I wondered, why is it like this tonight? This made me pick up Master's lectures to study, and I searched inside myself as well. Initially when this incident happened, I still thought that it did not have much to do with me. What I became aware of was that I was not diligent in the past. My cultivation state was sometimes good and sometimes bad. I was not clear-minded about the Fa principles from time to time, and I even fell asleep or my mind wandered when sending righteous thoughts. When I was interfered with from all directions while doing things for Dafa and when fellow practitioners and I could not cooperate in harmony, I did not realize that these problems were from the evil specter of the CCP. I thought I had eliminated the evil specter when I sent forth righteous thoughts daily.
Isn't it told that even the third person should search inside when he sees a conflict between two people? Let alone the fact that I was in the conflict. Through searching inward, I found that the problem was really on my part because of the evil party's factors that existed in my thoughts, body, and energy field. That is to say, that evil party could not have taken advantage of my gaps if my own energy field were righteous and did not contain any of the evil party's factors. Thus, when Dafa practitioners sent out righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil specter, it ran into my energy field to hide and then began to interfere and persecute me and made me lose my direction. When my cultivated side became calm and clear, it left my energy field and committed evil deeds against Dafa and against other practitioners. I became clear-minded again when the evil specter left me. This is also the reason why my cultivation state was sometimes good and sometimes bad. When the evil specter hid within my body and energy field and persecuted me, I did not clearly recognize it from the root; instead, I was deluded with the false phenomena created by the evil specter and mistakenly thought that my righteous thoughts were not strong and that sending forth righteous thoughts did not work. Thus the effect of my sending forth righteous thoughts was not good. Today, I truly realized that I must be strict with myself, study the Fa more, increase the frequency of sending forth righteous thoughts, reinforce my righteous thoughts, and purify my heart and energy field in order not to give the evil specter a space to hide, so as to not be interfered with by it. From now on, I will completely eliminate and disintegrate the false me composed of the evil specter of the CCP and all of its degenerate mentalities. I do not acknowledge them and do not want them. I will only follow the path arranged by my Master. I will only be a righteous and qualified Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple.
I learned a lesson from this incident. We should put our conflicts on the table whenever we have a conflict with other practitioners and expose the evil in time (because being exposed is what the evil fears the most). No longer should we just share our thoughts with fellow practitioners in private (except for special situations). I personally think that during private sharing, fellow practitioners might not necessarily realize the root of the "conflict" from their heart. Instead, the "conflict" is afraid of being exposed and resolved. Thus the root behind of the "conflict" is further reinforced. During private sharing, the evil will again look for a place to hide itself. Take this recent group sharing as an example. I really played a bad role. I could not speak out my understanding righteously and worried about saving face. It was this selfish heart of protecting "myself" and of "saving face" that was taken advantage of by the evil specter. After fellow practitioner A read the letter in our group sharing, I really felt that what was written by A came from her heart. At that time I talked a bit of my understanding. While talking, "selfishness" came out to block me. Then my behavior was that I was afraid that I would upset fellow practitioner B if I spoke out and I was "afraid" that B would blame me. I thus covered it up and let it pass by. In this way, I provided a hiding place for the evil specter. I searched inside while studying the Fa afterwards and shared my understanding with fellow practitioners in time. I realized that what I did yesterday was not what I truly thought and truly intended to do. It was the result of the interference from the evil party factors within my body.
Master told us:
"In your cultivation you can't always look at others. You need to look at yourselves, and cultivate yourselves. When there's a problem, examine yourself and try to find the problem on your part." (Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students)
I realized through studying the Fa and sharing understandings that yesterday's situation occurred because the evil specter was separating us and trapped us in its false reality and delusions. If we had been able to calm down and search inside ourselves, it would have been easy to distinguish and see through the evil party's plot. This was not a conflict between human beings. It was that the evil party wanted to break us apart. As long as we catch it and completely eliminate it when this situation arises, things will become clear to us.
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