(Clearwisdom.net) I don't know why I had always felt I had encountered more tribulations than others. I went to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong four times, was sentenced to forced labor once, detained twice, and was abducted during the CCP 16th National Congress. Though each time I broke out with the power of righteous thoughts, the tribulations kept coming, one after another.
My work unit was re-organized, and my child was hit by a car. I had even more small troubles, which made me very busy at work. Each day I tried my best to overcome difficulties, to be able to read one chapter of Zhuan Falun, and then I would be busy with everyday people's matters. I was continuously interfered with when sending forth righteous thoughts, and felt tired and sleepy when studying the Fa, practicing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts. Later I read on the Minghui website that some practitioners extended the duration of sending forth righteous thoughts. Now, except for doing the three things that Master asked us to do, I also extend the duration of sending forth righteous thoughts. As a result, my work has gradually become trouble-free and my efficiency in clarifying the truth has clearly improved.
I have asked many practitioners why I was so busy, and why my cultivation state was not good though I was also doing the three things and I regarded myself as doing them well. When I studied the Fa I had not realized until today the following of Master's words,
"We'd say that a good or bad outcome comes from one thought. The difference in one thought leads to different results. " ("The Fourth Talk," Zhuan Falun)
Though I was clarifying the truth and the quantity truth-clarification materials that I handed out were not few, I always had the attachment of fear. In particular, if I had not handed out truth-clarifying materials for a period of time, I did not want to do it. When the materials were sent to me, I would forward them to fellow practitioners. But if the fellow practitioners were unable to handle such big quantity for various reasons, I had to bring them back home and further thought: why can't those retired or unemployed practitioners go hand them out? Don't they have plenty of time? I would do it if I had the same amount of time as they have. I was already so busy with my work and had to further go to hand out the materials, so I had to leave them home and would do it when I was free.
Later, although I have since handed out all the materials, I did it passively instead of actively treating Dafa work as the best and most spiritual task. Because of this thought, the evil has found excuses for persecution: since you don't want to do Dafa work, I will let you do everyday people's things. So the evil has pressed everyday people's work on me, and this is the reason I had been so busy and even experienced other tribulations.
I suddenly breathed a sigh of relief after coming to a realization on this point.
July 12, 2005
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