(Clearwisdom.net) My mother began practicing Falun Gong in early 1999. She used to study the book and practice the exercises every day, and benefited physically and spiritually. After the persecution of Falun Dafa began, she stopped practicing for a time due to the pressure. For several years, she enthusiastically took folk medicine for preserving her health, as if she wouldn't get ill after drinking the bitter tea. Thinking that she had deviated from the requirements for Dafa practitioners, I would feel upset when I smelled the bitter tea at home. Not only that, whenever I read the book, practiced the exercises or sent forth righteous thoughts, she would shout loudly or urge me to do other things, as if she didn't see what I was doing. I became anxious and angry. I wanted her to study the Fa, so she wouldn't have to live in such an irrational state. However, as soon as I spoke to her about it, her face would change. She was silent and didn't listen, as if I were speaking to hear the sound of my own voice. After several disappointments, I no longer had any hope for her.
When I read Teacher's words, "I don't want to leave a single person behind." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference") my heart shook. After that, I constantly reminded myself of Teacher's words,
"I often say that if all a person wants is the well-being of others and if this is without the slightest personal motivation or personal understanding, what he says will move the listener to tears." ("Clearheadedness" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
Surely I shouldn't leave my mom behind because I haven't done well. Surprisingly, when this thought came forth, I no longer concentrated on my mother's shortcomings, but instead I fixed my undivided attention on my own words and actions at home.
In this way, I finally realized that my behavior in front of my mom was like that of an ordinary person. Since becoming a practitioner, I had done fairly well, requiring myself to act within the standards of the Fa when dealing with people, and remembering I was a practitioner at all times. Usually I was able to deal with tribulations from a Fa-based perspective, and even if I didn't do well at the time, I didn't handle matters as badly as an everyday person, and constantly reminded myself to do better the next time. So why did I relax the requirements when I was with my mother, and allow myself to be influenced by human notions without thinking? No wonder mom no longer wanted to learn Falun Dafa. I had failed to display the genuine demeanor of a Dafa practitioner. Although she saw me reading the book, practicing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts every day, she couldn't see the sacredness of Dafa from watching my actions. Even when I tried to persuade her to study Falun Dafa, I harbored selfish thoughts of maintaining my own cultivation environment at home, instead of acting entirely for her well-being. Realizing this, I was determined to truly look inward, and show her a Dafa practitioner's righteous thoughts and actions. Eventually the day came when my mother again held Zhuan Falun in her hands and began practicing the exercises.
Before long, new problems appeared. Mom became lax in her practice, TV shows and newspapers again became important to her, and nutrition was her first priority whenever she ate and drank. I was very anxious, and urged her to study the Fa daily. I stared at her when I sent forth righteous thoughts. She couldn't accept this. As soon as I talked about Dafa, her manner became cold. The Minghui Weekly, which she was supposed to pass on to other practitioners, was often delayed. I reminded her, and then she quickly returned it to me, but I didn't know whether or not she'd read it attentively. Thinking about mom's cultivation status made my mind tired, as if she practiced for me.
After sharing with fellow practitioners, they reminded me that I should treat her first of all as a fellow practitioner, and then as my mother. I realized that I didn't regard her as a fellow practitioner in my heart, but put myself above her. Furthermore, I didn't have the desire to communicate with her, and more significantly I didn't regard her as a particle of Dafa. On the other hand, because she is my mother, my fear of leaving her behind was inflamed due to my attachment of sentimentality, so I became fussy, didn't maintain my xinxing, and lacked patience. I realized through studying the Fa that every practitioner's cultivation path is different, everyone cultivates on different levels, and Teacher arranges each step on the path. After I let go of these attachments, I became more tolerant. I was able to share with my mom on the Fa at any moment. And I could again share my experiences in cultivation with fellow practitioners. We were able to transcend and again advanced together as one body.
In the beginning, I was the one who always spoke when we shared experiences. Most of the time mom seemed to be brooding. Finally, one time while I talked about how Teacher would provide us with opportunities when we had the thought of saving sentient beings in our hearts, mom, who'd never been good at expressing herself, immediately said that she'd also had a profound experience. While nursing the ill and elderly people in the hospital, she had a patient who was just over 40 years old. She was in a wheelchair and was in a bad mood every day. After mom became acquainted with her situation, she had mercy, and thought it was a pity for her to be like this in her early forties. Mom realized that only Falun Dafa could save her. So my mother explained the principles of "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance" to the woman based on her understanding. The patient was fascinated by what she heard and waited to talk with my mom every day. As soon as mom arrived at the hospital, she chased after her, wanting to learn more. Finally, after listening to what my mom had told her, she said with determination, "I have to find my elder sister (who once urged her to learn Falun Gong) to learn Falun Gong." She left the hospital the next day. I was really delighted after listening to mother's words. It looked as if she was really walking on the path of Fa-rectification cultivation. Afterwards, I learned that she got up at 5:00 a.m. to practice the exercises nearly every day, read the book for a while each night, and went to sleep after sending forth righteous thoughts at midnight.
From the changes in my mother, I enlightened to the fact that only when I am tolerant, tolerant, and more tolerant, can I set my own things aside and save sentient beings. From this experience, I also realized that every situation Dafa practitioners come across contains the element of cultivation. It is up to us whether we can enlighten to it and achieve according to the requirements of Dafa. This is the path that Teacher arranged for us. This is also my understanding of what Teacher said in "My Version of a 'Stick Wake-up',"
"The path that Dafa disciples have walked in validating the Fa--where as they cultivate themselves they also save sentient beings, accommodate the needs of the cosmos's Fa-rectification, and disintegrate and clear away the dark minions and rotten demons that are negatively impacting the Fa-rectification and doing evil against Dafa disciples, as well as all the elements of interference and persecution arranged by the old forces--such is the complete path of cultivation, Consummation, and becoming a magnificent god that Disciples of Dafa walk.
Appropriate to my limited understanding, please correct my errors.
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