This happened before I obtained Dafa. It was a hot summer. I was watching television with the window open so that I could get some air. Just when the commercial came on, I looked up. A man broke into my house. He stood before me waving a large hunting knife at me and told me that if I screamed, he would kill me. He used my telephone cord to tie me up with my hands behind my back. Then he violated me.
From conversation, I learned that the man's name was Michael and that he had killed someone before. Right after Michael left, I went to a neighbor's house to call the police and a friend of mine, because I did not want to be there if he returned. I immediately sold my house and never went back there alone.
Since I was a crime victim, the state paid for my therapy. The therapist told me I had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I was constantly afraid someone would attack me. I never knew what might be around the corner, so I was always afraid when I came to one. I drank alcohol to fall asleep at night and had difficulty concentrating at work.
With therapy, I gradually improved over time, but in 1999 I still suffered greatly. It was then that I read in the paper that Falun Gong was banned in China, so I was curious about it. I saw an ad for a 9-Day Falun Gong Seminar, which was to start on a Saturday night. A friend of mine invited me to the best theater in town that night, but I told him that I couldn't go. Although I knew nothing about it, I felt that I absolutely had to go check out Falun Gong because I didn't know when I would get another chance.
In November of 1999, after attending the 9-Day Seminar ended, I started practicing. Within a short time I stopped going to therapy. Alcohol was very hard to give up, but in a few months I also stopped drinking. One time after that, I thought I was going to have trouble falling asleep, so I drank a few sips of alcohol. I felt so nauseated afterwards that I threw up. Since then, I have never had a drink.
Of course my life changed dramatically. I became much more efficient at work, my income went up, I became calm and serene and I rarely thought about the rape. As I practiced more and more, I started reading the Fa regularly. For several years I have been reading the Fa every day. Over time, my understanding has continued to deepen. Although I am 63 years old, I look pretty young and have lots of energy. I sleep two to three hours less than I used to. With my newfound energy, I have found that I can spend many hours every day doing work related to the Fa-rectification.
In all this time, I have only been "sick" once. I bragged about not needing vitamins any more. I looked at all my vitamins and said, "What do I need those for? I'll never get sick!" Within 2 hours of bragging, I had a cold.
Michael was arrested and I had to testify at his trial. The police told me he was homeless and lived in a field behind a shopping center. Ours is a "three-strikes" state [this means that people who are convicted of three felonies are sentenced to life in prison]. Since this was his 5th felony conviction, he was sent to prison for 117 years. I often wonder why he chose me, what our relationship in previous lifetimes must have been and how much De this poor man gave me. He is in jail half a state away, but I still send him my compassion whenever I think about him. Whatever our relationship in our previous lives, I believe this cycle has come to an end.
By the way, although I think it goes without saying, I no longer have PTSD.
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Category: Beginning Cultivation
