A little over a year ago, I went to a store not too far from my house to buy some vegetables. Right in front of the store there was an anti-torture exhibition, where Falun Dafa practitioners were reenacting the tortures experienced by practitioners under persecution in China. I was petrified. What I saw made me very uneasy. At the same time, I could not help but think that these people were certainly extraordinary to be able to endure such atrocities and stay faithful to their beliefs.
I quickly went home with an information pamphlet in hand. While reading it at home, I immediately wanted to know more about this practice and I went right back where the torture exhibition was being shown to ask where I could learn it.
The next morning, I woke up a little bit out of sorts; my body was not in very good shape. Suddenly I got the idea to go and learn the practice the next week, and at the same time, a great protest began inside of me. Immediately, I said "No way! I have waited so long, I shall not wait another week!"
The exercises were very pleasant, even if they were a bit difficult at times. I felt aches and pains after the exercises and also a great joy, a physical joy.
I read the book, Zhuan Falun quite quickly, although slower than my usual reading. I can read very fast, even 300 pages in 2 to 3 hours. Although this one was written in a very simple way, I took three days to read it. To this day, I have the impression of "consuming" books, like one eats a fruit. I absorbed them purely and simply. This one did not lend itself to quick assimilation! To this day, each time I read it, even dozens of times, it is with great pleasure, and I have yet to fully "absorb" it. At each reading, my comprehension of it changes, taking on new dimensions. Also, amidst exchanges with other Chinese and Western practitioners, their own understanding of the teachings gives me a lot and enriches me also.
Right off, from the very first week, I began to look at myself carefully, according to the teachings of Dafa. The truth is, however, I was a bit extreme.
I felt that I had finally found what I was looking for over such a long time, and that it was extremely precious, so much so that I had a wrong understanding and had no patience with myself. On the very second week, I remember thinking, "I have ruined everything! I have missed my last chance!" Immediately, my attachments were slowly coming out so I could identify them and get rid of them. On the flip side, this requirement also had its advantages and positive aspects. Wanting very much to do the right thing, right from the first week of practice, I gave up my daily and very crucial ten-year use of alcohol and drugs. I had tried in vain to quit many times, but only Dafa gave me the strength to do it.
Little by little, I met other practitioners. I attended a 9-day seminar where Teacher's lectures were shown on video. I liked to be with fellow practitioners. I usually quickly appreciate people, but I was particularly fond of these practitioners.
In a very few months, I was meeting practitioners with whom I was having very intense and enriching relationships, as if renewing old friendships.
The meaning that Dafa has given my life is very vast, as if the pieces of a puzzle were starting to come together all of a sudden.
I, who had always had a thirst for independence and freedom, found in Dafa the space I needed to flourish and go beyond myself with respect for myself and for others. I still have anger and I am still too rigid with myself, but I am learning how to perceive these aspects of myself as something from the past, and I am going forward with the heart to assimilate to Truth, Compassion and Forbearance.
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Category: Beginning Cultivation
