(Clearwisdom.net) My home is a truth-clarification materials center. However, my husband is not a Falun Dafa practitioner and he was deeply poisoned by the CCP's lies. He knows what I have been doing. On the surface, he hasn't interfered with my Dafa work. But whenever he finds a Dafa poster hanging up, he tore it down. He thought that I put it up, and was afraid that I might be reported. He also refused to quit the CCP.
I tried to clarify the truth to him, but he would lose his temper every time. I was afraid that he might interfere with my truth-clarification work if I talked too much about it. I felt helpless and thus just let it go at that, even though I knew it was not the right thing to do. I sent forth righteous thoughts for him, but it didn't seem to have any impact on him.
As I began to have a deeper understanding of the Fa, also by reading some articles on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website on how to handle family affairs, I started to realize that if I didn't overcome this obstacle, my xinxing would stay at the same level, and it would affect my cultivation and my ability to validate the Fa and save sentient beings. What was I to do? Through more Fa study and looking inward, I realized that although the problem on the surface seemed to have to do with him, the root of the problem was with me.
Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in the U.S. Capital:"
"Then as a cultivator, [you may be thinking,] 'what counts as cultivating?' Well, doing the things that Dafa disciples are supposed to do, such as things that validate the Fa and that save sentient beings, among others, is one's duty-bound responsibility and a part of establishing mighty virtue. But being able to improve yourself is the most crucial. That is because if you don't improve yourself, you won't be able to do any of those things well. So when you are strict with yourself, discover your shortcomings, and constantly get rid of them, then you are cultivating."
As I looked inward again I realized that I had neglected to improve my xinxing level. I was afraid that he might interfere with my making Dafa material. On the surface, I was trying to "protect" Dafa from harm, but actually my attachment of doing things had concealed my fear. The evil was thus able to take advantage of my loophole and controlled him in this way.
Now the Fa-rectification process has reached its final stage. Teacher said: "Fear is a death trap on a human being's journey toward divinity." ("Pass the Deadly Test") If I continue to have fear, can I reach the final stage? Can I reach consummation with fear? With this realization I adjusted myself. I sent forth righteous thoughts towards him and adjusted my own mindset. I needed to have benevolence and tolerance. In order to save him, I'd needed to clarify the truth to him.
After this everything went smoothly and I didn't have to talk much to reach my goal. I also found that his spirit seemed good.
I realized that his clear-headed side had been waiting for this day. It was because of my xinxing problem that it was put off until now. I also realized that if we put our hearts on the Fa, and lose our human mindsets, everything will be much easier to do.
This is my own understanding. Please kindly point out anything improper.
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