(Clearwisdom.net) The first moments that I recall from my this life here on Earth were in my grandparents' house. While the whole family was at the table, I was under the table and I said to myself: "This family is not mine." Then, I see myself in my child's bed, my head on the pillow, pinching my own hand, trying to find out if everything was a dream or was it real what was happening to me. I was about two-and-a-half or three, and I was telling myself that maybe I was adopted and my real parents would eventually come and take me home or that I was dreaming and after I woke up I wouldn't be with this family I had turned up and which I didn't recognize as being mine: "Of course, my real parents will come and take me home..." I grew up and forgot about that thing and I haven't told anyone about it, until, after more than 30 years, Master brought light in my mind and helped me understand that my real mother is the one who gave birth to my yuanshen:
"In the course of the Sixfold Path of Transmigration, the number of your mothers who are human or non-human beings is countless. The number of your sons and daughters is also numerous throughout your lifetimes. Who is your mother? Who are your children? You will not know one another after you pass away. You still have to pay the karmic debts you owe. Human beings live in darkness and cannot abandon these things." (Zhuan Falun Lecture 6, "Demonic Interference from one's Own Mind")
Growing up, in my adolescence, I wondered why, in the same circumstances, different people obtained different results. For some, everything was very easy, while for me, at least, I had to work harder than others. I felt there was a special category of people for whom everything was easier. Without envy, I wished sometimes I, too, was in that category, but after a while I gave up, telling myself that if this is the situation, I have to accept it. After 20 years, Master helped me find the answer in Zhuan Falun, when he told us about "virtue" and "karma":
"There exists a transformation process between the white substance and the black substance. After a conflict takes place between one another, there occurs this process of transformation. When one does a good deed, one acquires the white substance, de. When one does a bad deed, one obtains the black substance, karma. There is also an inheriting process. One may ask, 'Is this because one did bad things early in one's life?' It might not be completely so because this karma is not accumulated in only one lifetime. The community of cultivators believes that a Primordial Spirit does not become extinct. If a Primordial Spirit does not become extinct, one probably had social interactions before this life. So one might have owed something to someone, bullied someone, or done other bad things, such as killing, which would induce this karma. These things add up in another dimension, and one always carries them; the same is also true with the white substance. This is not the only source, as there is also another situation. Throughout the generations in the family, ancestors may also accumulate karma for later generations. In the past, the elderly had this saying: 'One should accumulate de, and one's ancestors have accumulated de. This person is giving away de and abusing de.' That was said very correctly. Nowadays, average people no longer listen to this saying. If you tell those young people about losing de or lacking de, they will not take it to heart at all. In fact, its meaning is indeed very profound. It is not merely the ideological and spiritual standard of modern people, but also an actual material existence. Our human bodies have both kinds of substances." (Zhuan Falun, Lecture 4, "Transformation of Karma")
When I was about 20, I had a special experience. I experienced death. Not as consequence of any accident--I simply saw my body inert, lying on a bench in an underground station, with many people around me trying to bring me back to life. I was watching them from somewhere above and I also saw my body from all sides. From another side I could see a long tunnel of light that reached to the sky and, at its end, a woman dressed in white was waving at me as if in greeting. My state of mind cannot be easily described in words. It was like a liberation and a happiness, but not an earthly happiness. I was to find it later, described by Master in Zhuan Falun, when He explained about the suffering that man has in this dimension, because of the flesh body and human heart. I also know that I didn't want to come back, though I saw all those people trying to bring me to life. Finally somebody dared to slap my face soundly, which woke me up. I remember the sadness I felt when I came back. At that time I didn't know why they had brought me back. Now I understand that Master took care again not to let me lose the chance to come to Dafa.
"I have read a report in the newspaper saying, during the Tangshan earthquake, many people died in it, but some were rescued. A special social investigation was made of these people. They were asked how they felt in the state of being dead. Contrary to everybody's expectations, they all mentioned an extraordinary state under which they experienced no sense of scare at the moment of death without exception. On the contrary they suddenly felt a sense of relief and a sense of potential excitement; some felt free from the bondage of the body, flying up lightly and comfortably in the air, they even saw their own bodies; some saw living beings in other spaces and others had been to some places. They all talked about a sense of potential excitement of relief without a feeling of suffering at the moment of death. This means that our having the physical body is suffering. However, since we all come out of mother's womb this way, we do not realize it is suffering." (Zhuan Falun, Lecture 9, "A Person Well Grounded in All Virtues")
Many times I asked myself: "What is the Universe like?" I was thinking that beyond the planets I knew, beyond this Milky Way, there should be something more, but where? What does it look like, that shell that I thought put an end to the universe? Even if I haven't reached even now that wisdom to understand this mystery of the universe, at least Master had the kindness to enlighten me in this respect, too.
"Sakyamuni also put forward the three-thousand-chiliocosmos theory. He said that in the Milky Way galaxy of our universe there were three thousand planets on which living beings with material bodies like human beings exist. He also said there were such three thousand chiliocosmos in a grain of sand. A grain of sand is like a universe and there are such beings of intelligence as us living in it. There are also such planets, mountains and rivers in it. It sounds rather fantastic! If this is true, just think about it, isn't there sand in the sand mentioned? Aren't there three thousand chiliocosmos in each grain of the sand there? Then, isn't there sand in each of those three thousand chiliocosmos? And aren't there three thousand chiliocosmos in each grain of the sand there again? Therefore, in the status of Tathagata one cannot see its bottom." (Zhuan Falun, Lecture 2, "Issue of the Celestial Eye")
As an ordinary person, I could not stand seeing injustice. I was trying to make things just by any means, without taking into account kindness and wisdom and somewhat violently. Nevertheless, one day as I was crossing the street, right in a pedestrian cross walk and right when it was green for pedestrians, a car headed towards me at high speed. At first I thought it was better to just stay put, so that when the driver did notice me, he would be able to avoid me. But as the car got closer and closer, the driver showed no sign of avoiding me, and I didn't have time to even run out of the way. Then a thought came in my mind: jump on the hood of the car so that my legs won't get dragged under the wheels and at least I might be thrown to the side. I did exactly that. Naturally, I was thrown on the asphalt. I raised up, cleaning the dust off my clothes, without a thought or anger or fear, while the people around me, who had witnessed the scene, started to tell me to go with the driver to the police, to the hospital, etc. I only told them I didn't want that and went forward. However, as I walked away, I looked inside myself and didn't recognize myself. I wondered how it could be that I wasn't annoyed, that I didn't yell at the driver (whom I had seen talking on his cellphone so that he didn't see the pedestrians), that I didn't claim my "rights" with my fist, as I usually did. Nothing moved inside of me, and when I reached home I realized I didn't have a single scratch. Only later, when I became Falun Dafa practitioner, did I understand. Master explained: "Good or evil comes from a person's spontaneous thought."
"During my lecturing session in Taiyuan, there was a student who was over 50 years old. She and her husband were crossing the road on their way to the auditorium to attend my lecture when a car running fast passed by them. The old woman was caught by the wing mirror of the car. She was pushed along more than 10 meters before being thrown onto the ground. The car did not stop until it had gone more than 20 meters. The driver got out of the car and was cross with the lady: 'Why weren't you walking carefully?' Nowadays many people tend to shirk responsibility when they meet with problems no matter whose fault it is.
"The people in the car asked the woman how she felt and if she needed to go to the hospital. At this, the driver changed his manner. He asked the woman if she was all right, and offered to take her to the hospital. The woman, who was a practitioner, rose from the ground and said, "There's nothing wrong with me, you may go". Then she whisked away the dust on her and left with her husband. "When they came to attend my lecture and told me what had happened, I felt happy because our students' Xinxing had indeed improved. The woman told me that she would have dealt with the occurrence differently if she had not learnt Falun Dafa. Let us think about the event. The woman was in her 50's. The car pushed her along so far and threw her heavily into the street. Besides, she had retired enjoying no benefits. If such a thing had happened to an ordinary person, she might have said that she was seriously injured, and she might not have got up. If she had been sent to the hospital, she might have caught this opportunity and stayed there as long as she liked. But as a cultivator, the old lady didn't behave that way. We believe that one mindfulness of a person determines the consequence of an affair. Is it possible that an ordinary person at the age of 50 would not get hurt at all in such a situation? But the old lady did not even scratch her skin! This is because she was right minded at that moment. If she had said, 'Oh, I feel terrible. Something is wrong with this part or that part of my body...', then she might have really broken her bones or got paralysed. She might have had to spend the rest of her life in the hospital. In that case, would she feel better by being paid a lot of money? The people watching the accident wondered why the old woman did not take advantage of the mishap to squeeze some money from the driver. We know that moral standards have been distorted today. The driver was wrong for speeding. But did he knock the woman down intentionally? Certainly not. However, even the bystanders think it unfair that she did not ask the driver for money as compensation. Many people do not know what is right and what is wrong. If you tell someone that he is doing bad, he will not believe you. Because changes have taken place in the moral standard of mankind. Some people put profit-making first. There is nothing that they dare not do for the sake of money. And it has even been taken as the motto by some people that 'Heaven destroys those who do not look out for themselves.'" (Zhuan Falun, Lecture 4, "Upgrading Xinxing")
I also remember that I used to go quite often to church, to pray, but many times, after finishing my prayer, I left in tears. It seemed to me that nobody was there to hear our prayers, that there, in the church, nobody took care of people. I was to find out from Master the fact that "in this Dharma-ending Period even the monks in the temple would find it difficult to save themselves, not to mention saving others."
"Sakyamuni said that in the Period of Decline even the monks in the temple would find it difficult to save themselves, not to mention lay Buddhists, whom nobody is actually taking care of. Though you have formally become a disciple to a master, the so-called master is also a cultivator. If he does not get down to genuine cultivation, he will also achieve nothing. Nobody can ascend if he does not cultivate his heart. Conversion is a ceremony for an ordinary person. Will your conversion to Buddhism make you a person belonging to the Buddha School? And then, the Buddha will take care of you? There is no such thing. Even if you kowtow every day with your forehead grazed and burn incense bundle after bundle, it is still of no use. You have to cultivate your heart in a real and earnest way. Up till to the Period of Decline, a great change has already taken place in the universe. Even the places where people practise their religious beliefs have gone bad. Those who possess supernormal capabilities (including monks) have also found such a situation. At present only I myself in the whole world am teaching the Orthodox Law in public. I have done something never done by anyone before, and opened such a large door during the Period of Decline. This, in fact, is a chance that does not occur once in a thousand years or even in ten thousand years. However, it still depends on you yourself whether you can be saved or, to put it another way, whether you are able to cultivate. What I say is a great cosmic Law." (Zhuan Falun, Lecture 3, "Be Constant in a Single Cultivation System")
It often happened to me that, after a bad experience, after crying, I took refuge in a world about I didn't talk with anyone. It was enough to close my eyes and to "watch." I could see scenes in black and white with people that were not always from a society contemporary with ours, but who were moving and had activities. It was as if I was watching a film. I have never told anyone about this for fear I should be considered "crazy." It was fantastic to stay with my eyes closed and see things that you could not have seen with open eyes. I didn't know what it all meant, but it fascinated me somehow. When I first read China Falun Gong, Master explained this "miracle" when he talked about "The Issue of the Tianmu."
"Someone may see another scene. He would feel that he is running not along a tunnel but along an endless broad road on either side of which there are mountains, rivers, and cities. He just keeps running outward. It may sound fantastic. I still remember a qigong master's words. He said that in a pore in the human body there was a city in which the trains and cars were running. Other people were much surprised at his words and were incredulous. As you know, a substance is composed of molecules, atoms, and protons in its microcosmic state. In the end, you may keep investigating downward like this. If you can see a plane, not a dot, in each dimension, that is, if you can see the plane of molecules, or that of atoms, or that of protons, or that of nuclei, you will see the existing forms of different spaces. Any object, including the human body, coexists with and is open into the spatial planes of the cosmic space at the same time. When contemporary physics studies the particles of matter, it only studies a single particle by analyzing and fissioning it. It studies its component parts after its nuclear fission. If we had such an instrument through which we could see the whole manifestation of all atomic composition or molecular composition existing in this plane, if we could see this picture, we would break through this space and see the true existence of other spaces." (Zhuan Falun, Lecture 2, "Issue of the Celestial Eye")
I remember when I was 14 I had a dream, if I can call it dream. I was in front of a huge throne of stone, where--I knew inside of me--the Lord stayed. I didn't dare to look at His face, I only saw that He was huge, and from where I was I only saw His feet. As I was sitting in front of Him, on something like a carpet that was leading up to him, I heard Him say: "Go and tell people to be good, because I will come back, I will return to them." I woke up and I didn't know what to do, where to go, what to say.
After 20 years, indeed, reading Dafa brought by Shifu, I understood that the Lord did come back to people to help them, laying down for them "A ladder to Heaven" and giving them this chance to get out of this maze of ordinary human society.
Thank you, Shifu, for the chance given and the honor offered to be a Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification period. Thank you, Shifu, for the light that you brought to our hearts and minds.
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Category: Beginning Cultivation
