(Clearwisdom.net) In my cultivation during Fa-rectification, I have been digging out my attachments at deeper and deeper levels. To help us get rid of our attachments, Teacher gives us hints along the way. Whenever I enlighten to a teaching of the Fa, I often feel very excited.
A while ago when I was practicing the sitting meditation, I saw a scene: A big bright golden lotus flower was slowly rotating in front of me. The lotus was as high as the seat I was on. It appeared within reach of my hands and as if it was waiting for me to sit on it. After a while, and before flying away, I suddenly found I was sitting on the lotus flower and a small child was standing beside me. With both eyes slightly closed, the child looked very solemn. She was my youngest daughter,Yan'er.
I obtained the Fa many years before Yan'er was born. As soon as she started talking, she began to look for Teacher's books, wanting to see Teacher's picture and the Fa Wheel. I understood that Teacher was giving me hints through the little girl's mouth that I should study the Fa more diligently. When I started mailing truth materials to Chinese people, Yan'er helped me by putting the material into envelopes after I wrote it. Because she was so young, she was following me all the time. So, even without being aware of it, she was telling the truth and validating the Fa.
After experiencing the scene I mentioned earlier, the attachment to being a mother emerged. I told my children what I saw and was actively demanding that they study the Fa, practice, and send forth righteous thoughts. I often found that I had difficulty arranging our schedule and time very well. They often complained. When I saw that my children were tired after school and didn't like to do what I asked them, I felt angry and worried. The angrier I was, the more they complained. My relationship with my daughter was getting very tense.
I realized that what I was doing was not working and there had to be a reason behind it. After I looked inward and dug deeper into my heart, I found that on the surface I seemed very diligent. I was requiring my children to study the Fa and practice every day. I had not yet understood my attachment. I realized that my cultivation was not solid. I often severely warned my children: "If you don't study the Fa and do the exercises, when Fa-Rectification of the Human Realm comes and we fly to heaven on a lotus, you can only cry for your mom as we fly away."
How strong an attachment this was! I had totally deviated from the Fa. It concealed my attachment to the sentiment and fear. I was afraid of leaving my children alone and reaching consummation by myself.
Teacher said,
"I want to point out that this event has exposed some people. They still have not fundamentally changed their human notions, and they still perceive problems with the human mentality wherein human beings protect human beings." ("Digging Out the Roots" from Essentials For Further Advancement)
I felt so ashamed of my strong attachment to reaching consummation!
After I realized this strong attachment, I worked very hard to correct my mindset and thinking by following the Fa. I was then able to more easily instruct my children to study the Fa and do the exercises. Without any urging from me, the children started to study the Fa themselves. I also encouraged them to read articles from the Practitioners' Corner of the Clearwisdom website. I told them to read practitioners' experience sharing articles about the magnificent scenes observed by practitioners with their celestial eyes. The reading reinforced their righteous thoughts. This helped them to progress more quickly in their cultivation. I still need to improve further on arranging our time schedules more efficiently.
On our cultivation path, Teacher has entrusted the little practitioners to their practitioner parents. They have extraordinary pasts and came down to the Earth from different heavens to obtain the Fa. So it is our mission to instruct them while they walk firmly on their paths back to heaven to save themselves. This is also part of our personal cultivation. Teacher asked all practitioners to do the three things well, adult or child. We are all practitioners of the Fa-rectification period. To be worthy of such a title, our children have to reach the standard too. They are also bearing the same mission of Fa-rectification and saving beings. Here, I want to remind all practitioner parents not to let the little practitioners fall behind.
After looking inward, I realized I was afraid of being separated from my children, especially the young ones. This seems natural for any mother. Every mother believes that children shouldn't leave the mother. This is the sentiment I didn't give up. It had been hidden so deep in my heart that I didn't realize it. Asking an ordinary mother to be separated from her children is extremely harsh. However, for a mother who is a cultivator, this is a fundamental attachment that has to be removed. Thanks to Teacher for the merciful hint, which revealed my hidden attachment. Now I understand much deeper the following teaching:
Teacher said:
"Since one's real life is one's Primordial Spirit, the one who gives birth to your Primordial Spirit is your real mother. In the course of samsara, you have had mothers who were human and non-human, and there are too many of them to be numbered. It is also countless how many sons and daughters you have had throughout your different lifetimes. Who is your mother? Who is your son or daughter? No one knows it after one passes away. You must still pay for what you owe others. Human beings live in delusion and just cannot give up these things." (Zhuan Falun)
"Perhaps everyday people do not understand it. If you are attached to this, you cannot practice cultivation whatsoever. Buddhism therefore does not have such content. If you want to practice cultivation, human sentimentality must be relinquished." (Zhuan Falun)
Of course, this doesn't mean we do not take care of our children or indulge them, we should rather treat our children in the way we treat other practitioners by focusing on studying and cultivating. We should instruct our children to do the three things well and assist them to return to their true homes.
Teacher also said:
"There is sacrifice in forbearance. Being able to make sacrifices is the result of improving in one's cultivation. The Fa has different levels. A cultivator's understanding of the Fa is his understanding of the Fa at his cultivation level. Different cultivators understand the Fa differently because they are at different levels. The Fa has different requirements for cultivators at different levels. Sacrifice is evidenced by one's being detached from ordinary human attachments. If a person can indeed calmly abandon everything with his heart being unaffected, he is actually at that level already." ("Non-Omission" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
At last, I reached a deeper level of understanding of the Fa on this issue - detach from sentiment and convert human love to compassion.
Upon deviating from the Fa, a cultivator is in danger. It gives the old forces a chance to easily take advantage of that person. The old forces may interfere with Falun Gong practitioners and block their way to consummation by taking advantage of their attachments to sentiment or any other attachment.
I feel Teacher is always beside me and gives me hints all the time. Teacher worries about our consummation. Whenever I think of this, I feel so moved, and don't know how to express my thanks to Teacher.
So here I share my understanding with you. Let's instruct our little fellow practitioners to do well and pay close attention to their cultivation status. I also want to encourage other parents with similar attachments to correct their thoughts and remove their deep attachments.
This is just some personal understanding with the limitation of my level. Please kindly point out anything you may find to be improper.
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Category: Improving Oneself
