(Clearwisdom.net) There was an article written by a fellow practitioner in the "Minghui Weekly" entitled, "The First Fear." I felt I had a similar experience to that detailed in the article. The biggest attachment in my cultivation has been fear. I wanted to share with fellow practitioners how I eliminated the attachment of fear.
I have always been very cautious and nervous since I was young. When I first obtained Dafa, I started having lots of supernormal capabilities, such as the third eye being opened, clairaudience, and precognition. However, at first I didn't know what righteous thoughts were, and I experienced interference from the evil in other dimensions. So I was suffering, and I was in danger too. This was all because of my attachment of fear. Therefore, I tried to memorize Master's lectures related to the attachment of fear. Master said,
"If you are not afraid, the factor that would make you afraid will cease to exist." ("Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Master also taught us,
"Whether it is a Buddha, a Tao, an immortal, or a demon, they should not move your heart." (Lecture Six in Zhuan Falun, the 2000 translation version)
As I improved myself with a deeper understanding of the Fa, the interference gradually disappeared.
Although I was able to get rid of the attachment of fear of interference from other dimensions, I didn't truly eliminate my general attachment to fear. After the persecution started in 1999, my attachment of fear became even more severe and complicated. Benevolent Master saw that my attachment was too strong and yet I had to carry on with what I was supposed to do as a Dafa practitioner. Master tried to use different approaches to give me hints and guide me, such as through my dreams. Because I was previously afraid of walking in the dark, often in my dreams, I had to walk in the dark. I was afraid of ghosts, so in my dream I was chased by ghosts. Because I was afraid of evil people, in my dream evil people came to my home. I often wouldn't wake up from these dreams until I remembered I was a god or when I called Master's name. In many of the dreams I didn't have righteous thoughts, and when I woke up I felt ashamed. My attachment of fear was very strong, and it became the most difficult attachment for me to overcome.
Some fellow practitioners and I went to Tiananmen Square to validate Dafa several times. Most of the time, we were able to come back safely. That was because we consistently studied the Fa and understood the Fa principles. When the attachment of fear surfaced, we would remember the Fa and try our best to eliminate the fear and not let our actions reflect fear. In our hearts, we didn't let it affect us and didn't let it interfere with Fa-rectification. Sometimes when we didn't pay enough attention, we would be deceived by the attachment of fear. In our minds, we thought we should be rational. However, behind the so-called "being rational" was the attachment of fear. Sometimes in my dream I was able to see my true thoughts. Master said in Lecture One of Zhuan Falun, "...matter and mind are one thing." Our energy and capabilities follow our thoughts. When we think of something, it will form something. The attachment of fear is a substance too, and it's as hard as a rock. We have to use powerful, righteous thoughts to eliminate it, so it can be dissolved. I realized that every time the attachment of fear surfaced, we couldn't let it go. However, we should eliminate it using our strong righteous thoughts. We should be steadfast, confident, and maintain righteous beliefs until we completely dissolve the substance of fear . Master will help us if we are firm ourselves. However, if we follow the fear and deceive ourselves with the excuse of "being rational," the evil will be very happy, because it hides in the micro-world with the fear substances. If you want to dissolve it you have to go through a painful process.
Due to my strong attachment of fear, when I first went out to validate Dafa I was very passive. When fellow practitioners invited me to distribute truth-clarification materials I found different excuses not to go. Later, when they came to my home, I had to say, "Ok, I'll do it." The first time I stepped out of my door to distribute truth-clarification flyers, the evil in other dimensions tried to scare me by making me think, "The Public Security Bureau will execute you." When I went upstairs my heart almost jumped out of my chest. Maybe my basic or human instinct was strong. However, from the standpoint of the Fa principles, I understood that I needed to save sentient beings. I thought, "As long as I'm doing the right thing, I'm not scared of you and this attachment of fear can't stop me." Luckily, in my personal cultivation, I hadn't ignored Fa study. I was able to always think of Master's Fa regardless of what kind of attachment surfaced. Just as Master taught us,
"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Drive Out Interference" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
When sentient beings don't know the truth, I must go to tell them. So the fear substance was less and less each time. When I returned home from doing truth-clarification work, the sitting meditation was so easy and my legs didn't hurt, even if I sat there for a long time. Within several months, our local practitioners and I were able to distribute truth-clarification materials all over the area. We were able to eliminate lots of our attachments to fear and increase our righteous thoughts.
I once went out of town to get more materials. As soon as I got on the bus, I saw that a plainclothes policeman followed me. Due to my attachment of fear, I immediately got off the bus. When I thought about it later I found this was not accurate, because it was just a false image conjured up by my attachment of fear. The next time I got on the bus, a policeman came and sat right next to me. I realized that it was interference. I took this opportunity to get rid of my attachment of fear. I wanted to bring him benevolence and I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil. As a result, nothing happened.
If a thought of fear surfaced when I went to a fellow practitioner's home to get materials, the practitioner's neighbor would ask me if I was a relative of his. The more nervous I got, the more they asked. Once, when I met with a practitioner at a local place, I noticed that somebody behind us was watching us. I took off with fear. The evil had used another person to follow me. Later, I realized it was due to my attachment of fear. So with righteous thoughts I was able to walk away without danger. Another time, when I wanted to meet with a fellow practitioner, I noticed that two young men were watching me when I was making the call. So I called a taxi immediately and went home because of the attachment of fear. Each time Master tries to show me the reflection of my attachment in other dimensions. It was painful to get rid of the attachment in the different levels. However, because I firmly believe in Dafa and Master, and after I understood the principles of Fa, I decided to never turn back. I continued to walk forward to eliminate the attachment of fear with the help of the Fa. Because I was doing work for Fa-rectification, on the surface there were lots of factors that made me feel afraid. I was always fighting with the attachment of fear in my mind. I talked to my attachment of fear, "You are a wall and I will push you down using my righteous thoughts. You are a rope and I will cut you off. If you call for the evil, I will dissolve the evil along with you." Master's teaching also encouraged me:
"...with the master and the Fa here what is there to fear?"("Lecture in Sydney")
When I suddenly heard that fellow practitioners had been arrested, I didn't control my first thought well and immediately hid all Dafa materials due to the attachment of fear. Later, when I thought about the fellow practitioners, I immediately sent forth righteous thoughts. Sending forth righteous thoughts for 30 minutes or an hour sometimes would make the issue more clear. After experiencing more and more during Fa-rectification, I improved a lot. When I get Fa-rectification work that I have to do right away and my first thought is about others or about nothing at all, I am able to do the work without pursuit, and there isn't any fear because it is selfless. This fully reflects the Fa requirements for Dafa practitioners, to be always selfless and always thinking about others and living for others. Maybe that is our path, to address the needs of Fa-rectification and the needs of saving sentient beings. Maybe that was our oath from long time ago and it is what we should be doing. When I experienced this benevolent state, my mind became relaxed and peaceful, reflecting the power and wonderfulness of the Fa. My daily life shows that Dafa work is always successful. For example, if I want to meet someone, I see the person right away. If I need something, immediately fellow practitioners send it to me. Our everyday paths are all arranged by Master--even the priority of things is arranged.
While advancing diligently, we should be able to find and walk well our own paths. While studying the Fa well, we should be able to walk our paths in a straight and righteous way. If we are able to hold onto our xinxing, we should be able to dig out all attachments that have been hiding deeply and eliminate them.
Because I was able to further improve my understanding of the Fa principles, my fear became less and less. My sense of responsibility became stronger and stronger. We used to rely heavily on other areas for truth clarification materials supplies. However, we realized that it wasn't easy for fellow practitioners in other areas to provide the supplies. Why did we have to wait and rely on others and make demands on others? Why were we so selfish? Let's make flowers blossom everywhere. My fellow practitioners and I coordinated with each other and established several small-scale local truth-clarification materials production sites. After hard work and much improvement, we were able to provide our own stable supply of materials. Our focus was on studying the Fa well, maintaining our own xinxing, looking inward, helping each other to improve, not going to extremes, not being complacent, not being afraid of difficulties, and getting rid of the attachment of fear.
There were also times that I didn't do well. Due to the increasing amount of work, the attachment to focusing only on doing work appeared. I wanted to control this impulse, but the attachment still affected me. I then started worrying about my xinxing and worrying about going to extremes. I also started worrying about my having attachments. These are all selfish mentalities. I was depressed for a while, but I still thought I was right and was just protecting myself, so I stopped being actively involved in Fa-rectification work and thought that would eliminate the anxiety. I even thought that I shouldn't be attached to the work and that I should let it go. I even gave my work to other not-so-mature practitioners and thought it would help those practitioners to improve.
After a while, I felt my mind and my body weren't right. The interference re-appeared. I was sleepy when I read the Dafa books. My attachment to comfort surfaced, too. Master again gave me hints in my dreams: in a higher place, Master let me sit in a high position and asked me to sit tight. I had a feeling of being afraid of falling down. I said I wanted to go down, so I jumped down myself. I then woke up from the dream and suddenly, painfully realized my own attachments. I then encouraged myself to do well going forward. If you relax even if just a little bit, the evil that is watching you closely will intensify your attachments. And in other dimensions, you are falling down fast. If you don't keep studying the Fa, you wouldn't notice your issues. If you don't move forward, you are falling behind already. Maybe the evil makes you stay stable at a certain level to make you feel all is still good. So I realized that holding on to the one thought, holding onto xinxing is very serious and hard. We are saving sentient beings in the human world. We can only try our best to assimilate to the Fa and purify ourselves. We can't get more dirt on ourselves.
The old forces are trying hard to fight with Master for Dafa practitioners. We should try our best to stand by Master's side. The old forces are also trying hard to fight with Dafa for sentient beings. We should try our best to get back the sentient beings from the evil.
I want to offer advice to fellow practitioners who are hiding in their homes due to the attachment of fear. There won't be too many opportunities. Have you lost the righteous belief in Master and the Fa? If you haven't, please walk out of your homes. Walk out of human notions! We truly are here only to save sentient beings. If it weren't for Master's Fa-rectification, would we still be here to cultivate? If we don't fulfill our mission, will we still have a chance to be humans? Wake up, fellow practitioners. Truly letting go of life and death in the Fa is a true life forever. Using human notions to protect one's own life is just temporary. If we don't fulfill our mission, won't it have been a waste for us to come here? In the meantime, we will have wasted our waiting for thousands of years. The evil is rampant, but it is just being irrational before it gets dissolved. If you are not there when there is darkness, how could you be there when the brightness comes?
Let's all walk well our last short leg of the journey righteously. The sentient beings are waiting! Master is waiting!
The above are my own personal understandings; please point out any mistakes.
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
