(Clearwisdom.net) Through discussion with fellow practitioners, I noticed a fundamental attachment that has interfered with me for many years.
My husband is not a practitioner, and I did not want him to have any objection when I was doing Dafa work. I always thought he was protecting his own interest and being attached to fame and interest. As it turned out, he had actually done quite a few things for Dafa, and had a moderate understanding of the Fa. He was even persecuted and sent to brainwashing. After waking up, he also made a "Solemn Declaration" and submitted it to Clearwisdom.net.
Sometimes, he would kindly give me some suggestions, asking me to pay attention to my safety. However, I thought that he was not a practitioner and therefore sometimes I became upset because he seemed to worry too much. I did not appreciate his kindness and caring. I had human notions and could not find my own mistakes, and the attachment of competing with others interfered with me. As a result, we had many conflicts, and I reprimanded him almost every time.
I did not care about the surrounding environment or other people's feelings. When things came up, I would not look inward, but instead used Dafa to cover up my attachments. I always told myself, "I did not do anything wrong. What I am doing is the most sacred." Sometimes after a conflict I acted as an everyday person, and did not talk with him for several days. I did not realize this was wrong and was trapped in the attachments. When being measured against the Fa, how can I be qualified as a Dafa disciple? How can I let down Teacher's compassion? How can I let down Teacher's forbearance for us? Exactly what do we want? Those attachments are just human notions accumulated over time.
We are doing the most sacred thing, and we cannot ignore cultivating ourselves. We cannot let any of our words or actions blemish Dafa. This is because what we do is left for the future as a reference. Right now, we are not just simply doing personal cultivation but that does not mean we can cultivate ourselves poorly. How can we do Dafa work well in this way? How can we use Dafa work to cover up our attachments; those deeply-buried attachments? Since those bad things are now noticed, they should be completely eliminated.
I have a bad temper, and I have to get rid of it. It was with me when I started to practice. Isn't it a fundamental attachment? Although it is no longer my original motive that keeps me cultivating, I still have to let go of all of my fundamental attachments. Teacher said, "Studying the Fa with attachments is not true cultivation." (Essentials for Further Advancement II) Rather than just focusing on the end result, we have to pay attention to the process to get there. We have to be Dafa disciples to do Dafa work.
I now suddenly wake up, and say "good bye" to those bad things! Here I would like to expose my fundamental attachments on Clearwisdom.net, and completely remove them. The attachments are not part of me, and I want to return to my original, true nature. I need to be qualified as a Dafa disciple. I need to assist Teacher to rectify the Fa, to do well the three things, and fulfill my prehistoric vows. (As I am writing these words, my husband carelessly knocked a cup down to the ground and it broke.. I think those bad things have been completely eliminated.)
Please cherish everything at our side, and everyone we are in conflict with. We need to enlighten according to the Fa since everything may be caused by our attachments, and targets at our attachments. Let us make good use of this brief moment, study the Fa more, get rid of our attachments, and return with Teacher sooner.
Finally, I sincerely thank Teacher for His compassion, and patience. I also thank my husband who helped me get rid of this fundamental attachment.
Please kindly point out anything improper.
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