(Clearwisdom.net) I started to cultivate Falun Gong in April of 1998. When I completed the first reading of Zhuan Falun, my view of the entire world completely changed. Under the guidance of my practitioner friends, I started to cultivate Falun Gong without the least hesitation. From the very beginning, Teacher purified my body and my mind quickly. No words could express my joy.
After the persecution started, there was a long, dark period. I managed to keep my firm belief in Teacher and Falun Dafa. As Teacher said,
"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Drive Out Interference," Essentials for Further Advancement II)
In the first week of October 2000, the newspapers and television stations slandered Teacher and Falun Dafa insanely. I knew that I could not practice secretly at home anymore. I had to step forward and speak out for Falun Dafa. I joined the effort to validate Falun Dafa.
The first difficulty I encountered after starting to validate Falun Dafa was the source of truth-clarifying materials. I bought an inkjet printer but it was very slow. After talking with fellow practitioners, we decided to get materials duplicated at a copy shop. We believed that Teacher would help us as long as we wanted to do what needed to be done. Truly, everything is arranged by Teacher. When I started looking, I quickly and easily found a copy store at an inconspicuous location. A couple managed this store. When I first went in to get something copied, they did not even look at the content of my materials. I asked them to print 200 copies and they gave me the copies the next day. I was delighted. Fellow practitioners reminded me to watch out for my safety, and I also realized I should clarify the truth to the couple. When I picked up the copies, I told them these were truth-clarifying materials about Falun Gong, that Falun Gong was good, and that the newspaper and television propaganda was erroneous. The couple told me that their aunt, who lived in Beijing, also practiced Falun Gong. They knew that Falun Gong was good. I realized that Teacher arranges everything. I made copies at this store for two years. I worked with another fellow practitioner, and together we had 500 copies of truth clarifying materials made every week.
After the "Tiananmen Self-Immolation Incident" occurred in 2001, I felt a great responsibility to clarify the truth about Falun Gong to people who had been deeply poisoned by the government propaganda. I distributed truth-clarifying materials almost every day. I distributed truth-clarifying materials in the evening in winter and in the afternoon in summer. I took a train to the countryside on Sundays to tell people the facts about Falun Gong. Wherever I went, I distributed truth-clarifying materials. In those few years, I went to more than 20 villages and climbed the stairs of many buildings. I brought more than 100 copies of truth-clarification materials every time I went to the countryside. Sometimes I distributed truth-clarifying CDs while putting up posters. When I met a predestined person, I would clarify the truth to him or her. People who live in the countryside are down to earth and they really treasured the truth-clarifying materials, especially the truth-clarifying CDs. I felt relaxed when I went out and returned home without a hitch every time. I did not have any fear because I knew clearly that Teacher was by my side.
Besides clarifying the truth, I spent a lot of time studying the Fa and doing the exercises. I studied two or three lectures of Zhuan Falun every day and read all of Teacher's lectures that were published after July 20 once a week. Because I studied a lot, I had a clear understanding of the Fa. Things went smoothly while validating the Fa and the results were good. In this period, many of my colleagues and friends understood Falun Gong in a positive way.
One thing worthy of mentioning is that one of my colleagues passed an entrance examination for a Master's degree at Qinghua College in 2002. He came to my office before he left, and I told him that I had wanted to treat him to dinner, but I missed the opportunity. Then I gave him a truth clarifying CD. He was so excited that his face turned red and he said, "Thank you so much for your present. It is better than ten dinners. I will take a good look at it at home. I'll let my wife see it and keep it until my child is old enough to watch it. This persecution really shows how amazing Falun Gong is. You can be assured of that. If I become a member of the People's Congress in the future, I will seek justice for Falun Dafa." This encounter gave me tremendous motivation, and I was truly happy for him.
Afterwards, I moved to an area 30 miles from my workplace. After I moved, I developed an attachment toward my new home. In addition, I was busier at work, so I had less time for studying the Fa, and I could not calm down sufficiently when I did have time. Clarifying the truth became routine even though I thought that I was doing well. I became complacent and that was the attachment of zealotry. This condition persisted for a long time. I felt I was not up to par, but I did not break through it. In September 2004, the police arrested two fellow practitioners and me while we were distributing truth-clarifying materials. I did not cooperate with the illegal arrest, and I refused to record any statement, to eat, or to have my photo taken. I clarified the truth about Falun Gong to the policemen and the ordinary people in the same room with me in the detention center. A day after my husband paid a fine of 10,000 yuan, plus 6,000 yuan as a present to the officers, I was released.
This lesson made me calm down and look at myself. How come I survived in the vicious environments in the previous years and yet was arrested in a far more relaxed environment after the evil was widely eliminated? When I looked inward, I found that I had learned very little Fa and had only learned it superficially. I did not truly cultivate or cultivate inwardly. I did not let go of a lot of my attachments. Teacher has told us in Zhuan Falun that,
"... the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments." (Zhuan Falun)
"Because he wants to cultivate, though, the evil will try to stop him from cultivating. And when you don't cultivate solidly you become a target for the evil's persecution." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York")
I understood the reasons that I was persecuted from several aspects: I could not calm down when sending forth righteous thoughts for a long time, and my own spaces had therefore accumulated a lot of evil. Second, because I failed to cultivate my heart, I did not let go of many of my attachments, especially to sentimentality (qing). Third, due to the fact that the path of my clarifying the truth was smooth for a long time, I slacked off and became less vigilant due to the attachments of complacency and "doing work". I want to remind fellow practitioners that when we encounter interference or persecution while on the path of Fa-validation, we should dispel the interference with righteous thoughts and righteous actions and negate the persecution at the same time. We should calm down and look inward to find the loopholes that the evil has exploited. Only when we let go of our human attachments will the evil dissolve.
In May 2005, several practitioners were arrested in my area, and the truth clarifying materials production sites were destroyed. This event created quite a stir among the local practitioners. Rumors of "who reported whom to the police" spread among practitioners. In order to solve these problems, several fellow practitioners and I studied the Fa and tried to see what Teacher told us about being confronted by demonic influences. Teacher said,
"We have said that good or evil comes from a person's spontaneous thought, and the thought at that moment can bring about different consequences." (Zhuan Falun)
"I think that no matter how far things go at the end, however bad the interference gets, or if Fa-rectification makes you become completely aware of everything, you still need to cultivate in a noble and upright manner, and not be affected by any positive or negative things--make sure you're not interfered with by any favorable turn of events brought about by the situation or by whatever situation that might arise." ("Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference")
"Whenever human thoughts emerge among Dafa disciples, it is something the evil will take advantage of, and the evil beings will use it to do the bad things they want to do. When Dafa disciples' human thoughts become minimal, when their righteous thoughts become strong, and when they are levelheaded and steady, the evil has nothing to capitalize on then, which makes the situation of Dafa disciples' Fa-validation more stable." ("Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference")
Through studying the Fa, our understanding become clearer: We should completely deny the old forces' persecution, truly and steadfastly believe in Teacher, remain steadfast in Dafa, not be moved by interferences, and do well the three things Teacher requires. Only then can we overcome interference and tribulations. In the meantime, I looked inward as to why fellow practitioners were persecuted. Did I have any responsibility? Most of the practitioners that were persecuted had been responsible for materials production sites. These practitioners had done a lot of work in the process of validating the Fa in recent years and played an important role in clarifying the truth and revealing the evil. Thus, other practitioners, including me, had come to rely upon these practitioners. (Even when I saw the loopholes of fellow practitioners, I dealt with them with a human mentality. I thought, "They have practiced well" and I thought I could not cold-heartedly point out their mistakes.) Due to the demand for truth clarifying materials, the burden on these practitioners became heavier. They had less time to study the Fa, and as a result they were persecuted. This is relevant to many fellow practitioners and even our whole body. Everyone in this whole body should calm down and look inward.
In order to reduce the pressure on practitioners at the existing materials production sites and to help solve the problem of having sufficient truth clarifying materials, I established a small materials production site with the assistance of others practitioners. From the conception of this idea, to buying and installing the machines, and to producing the truth-clarifying materials, it took only about four days. It was as simple as water flowing downhill.
When distributing the truth-clarifying materials, I have always insisted on trying to persuade people face to face to withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). About 40 to 50 people have already withdrawn from the CCP under my influence and guidance.
During the course of my cultivation I still encounter many shortcomings, such as the pursuit of comfort, self-protection, and vanity. All of them are attachments that interfere with my validating the Fa and saving sentient beings, and they need to be removed during cultivation. By reciting Master's article, "The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be," I have found the attachment of selfishness; it is like a dead tree. Although the branches and leaves are gone, the trunk and root are still there. All attachments are from selfishness. I believe that, following Master Li's teachings, I can root out the attachments, become selfless and egoless, and consider others first.
As I was writing the article, I often thought of giving up on it and still think my understanding may be shallow. With persistence, however, I completed it. If there is any inadequacy, please kindly point it out.
March 25, 2006
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