(Clearwisdom.net)
Even though I obtained a copy of Zhuan Falun in the spring of 1997, I fell behind in my cultivation due to my lack of solid understanding of the Fa. Thanks to Teacher’s boundless compassion, on Chinese New Year 2005, a fellow practitioner gave me Teacher’s new articles and I was fortunate to rejoin cultivation in Dafa. This time I am determined to cultivate Dafa because I want to return to my true self through cultivation. With the proper understanding of the purpose of cultivating in Dafa, I was able to rid myself of attachments much faster this time.
Although I understood the purpose of cultivating in Dafa was to return to my true self, for quite some time I could not pass the tests regarding lust and qing. I always thought of what Teacher said in Zhuan Falun, "If you fail the test the first time, it will be difficult to pass it the second time." The manifestation of my strong attachment to lust and sentimentality in ordinary society resulted in a male colleague flirting with me at work. Even though I could remind myself that I was a Dafa practitioner and I must not treat this issue like ordinary people, I still could not pass the test solidly and meet the standard of the Fa. I was troubled by this demonic influence for more than half a year and I sensed that I was in a dangerous position. I knew that Dafa is good and I wanted to cultivate in Dafa. How could I overcome this problem?
One day I read an experience sharing article in the Clearwisdom Weekly on the subject of fundamental attachments. After I finished reading it, I looked within myself. I discovered my own fundamental attachment: "Enjoying a good life." Deep down, I had thought that by cultivating in Dafa I was supposed to rid myself of attachments so that I would not have trouble dealing with people. I should live at ease and be carefree. By cultivating in Dafa we did not need to go after advanced degrees like a PhD, nor did we need to go after a title in our position, such as Program Adviser. We could live without the constraints that tied us down.
Due to my fundamental attachment of pursuing a good life, I had a strong notion of self-protection, suspicion and fear while I was printing and distributing truth clarification flyers. This resulted in a lot of interference and tests when I asked people to "Quit the CCP (Chinese Communist Party), CYL (Communist Youth League), and CYP (Communist Young Pioneers)." That was why I never accomplished these tasks well.
When I found my fundamental attachment, I asked Teacher to strengthen me because I wanted to get rid of it. I was surprised to discover that the demonic lust and sentimentality could not touch me anymore.
I followed the Fa principle of "Truth, Compassion, Forbearance" taught by Teacher, and raised my level. Therefore, all the low level factors became nothing in front of a genuine practitioner.
I wrote this article to share with fellow practitioners as a reminder to all of us. It is possible that the test that you are facing is not where your fundamental attachment lies, but an outward manifestation of your attachment in ordinary human society. Therefore, please remember to study the Fa, and if possible, memorize the Fa. Then, you will be able to identify your fundamental attachments by seeking within yourself through various paths. Please kindly point out any incorrect understanding.
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