(Clearwisdom.net) On the evening of September 30, 2003, I was sitting in meditation. Suddenly a group of policemen rushed in from downstairs and frantically knocked on the door, threatening to destroy it. My husband asked, "Why are you making an arrest?" The police simply did not pay attention to him. They arrested me and another fellow practitioner and took us to a police car. After we arrived at the Sili Detention Center, I discovered that a dozen fellow practitioners were there already.
On the third morning of my detainment, the police opened the cell door. They brutally handcuffed us and pushed us on a tour bus. "Where are we going?" A policeman replied, "To another place." We shouted loudly along the road, "Falun Dafa is Good!" "Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance is Good!" The police maliciously slapped practitioners' faces and mouths. We suffered for several hours on the bus and arrived at a hospital. Police shouted at us to get off the bus. After getting off, a nurse gave us injections. We asked, "What’s this?" "Vaccine," was her reply. (Actually it was a drug that impairs the nervous system). Two practitioners lost consciousness right away.
We were transferred to Shayang Women's Forced Labor Camp. The female police guard of the second division instigated the criminals to humiliate us. They used scissors to cut our hair and forced us to stand for a long time without sleeping. On the third morning at Shayang, the criminals led me to a room and tied both of my hands behind me to a stool and inserted a metal soup spoon in my mouth. They used another metal spoon to turn in my mouth for more than an hour. They didn’t stop even when my teeth started to break off. They kept torturing me like this until I fell unconscious from the pain.
In the afternoon I was transferred to Qilihu Hospital for force-feeding. I almost suffocated to death. On the fifth day, the police instigated the criminals to force-feed me with a dirty plastic bottle. Again I was almost suffocated. On the sixth day, my entire calf turned numb and I had difficulty walking. In the evening, they tried to compel me to write a "renunciation letter." I refused. They pushed my hands backward, lifted them upward and pushed down. It hurt so badly that I could not help calling out for Master. One of the collaborators witnessed how a practitioner was forced to "reform" and became a little bit awakened. "Trying to 'reform' someone is so black hearted that I quit." From then on, she didn’t do any more evil things. Later she read Master’s new articles in the provincial legal system class, and she wrote a Solemn Declaration to announce that she was returning to Dafa. The whole division was shocked.
After failing to "reform" me the hard way, they tried the soft way. They told me that they wanted to talk with me. I thought that I should take this chance to ask the two collaborators to write a Solemn Declaration. To my surprise, one of them grabbed the pen quickly and wrote a "renunciation letter" for me to sign. She said she had written it on my behalf. I was very angry and asked them to give me the letter. They refused. I told them, "I don’t agree with what you wrote. It is no use for you to say that I do." At that moment, I could see small, colorful flowers and plants on the ground. The scene lasted for some time and absorbed me fully. In my heart, I was wondering, "How do I do it right?" They started to discuss Master’s scriptures "Cautionary Advice" and "Digging Out the Root." All they were talking about were their crooked ideas from having "enlightened" along an evil path. At that time, I felt a conflict in my heart. I did not know what the right way to clarify the truth to them was. Later, I remembered Master’s words in Zhuan Falun:
"If you add an extra part to the electronic unit inside a television set, what do you think will happen to this television set? It will be out of order instantly. This is the principle."
I was so dazed that I didn’t grab the "renunciation letter" and destroy it. I just remained silent. That is what the evil people wanted.
In the evening I remembered Master’s Fa and woke up. What they were doing was not right. The first thing the next morning, I told Chief Wang that I needed a pen and paper. I wrote a "Declaration for Dafa" to show that the "renunciation letter" was not written by me. Chief Wang’s face changed as soon as she looked at it. They had been planning to persecute me further. The person assigned to "reform" me wickedly beat and verbally abused me. The guards outside condemned me. I simply ignored them. They did not allow me to sleep. The next day I was taken to a room that had been covered with words that slandered Master. There was also a paper board full of slanderous words. I was deeply hurt. They tried to compel me to read the words on the board. I refused firmly. They put a sign on me and tried to push me down on Master's name. I used all my strength to jump over Master’s name. I would never sit on his name. I shouted, "You are committing a crime. This is dishonorable. It is extremely evil!" Several of the "reformers" pushed me to the floor and beat and kicked me.
In the evening, several "reformers" and collaborators intimidated me and grabbed my hands to write a "renunciation letter." I used the pen tip to cut the paper and firmly refused to write a single word. In the following days, several collaborators surrounded me and threatened me. They said, "If you don’t "reform," you will be arrested, sent to jail, and sentenced for seven years. I firmly replied, "Go back, quickly! Read Master’s new scriptures. Once you wake up, you will know what to do. Then you will have some hope of being salvaged!"
After several days, other collaborators showed up. One of them always smiled and was very calm. I had a good impression of her at first sight. She talked a lot. Because I was not clear on Fa’s principles, I began to accept her ideas. I am so regretful of that.
Later they kept playing pop music. When I saw some practitioners who had been "transformed" because of their attachments, I told them to stop. Later they played the "Tiananmen Self-Immolation" video for me. I told them that it was all lies and refused to watch. They forced me to watch and then told me to write a report afterwards. I refused. The collaborators wrote a report on my behalf. I told the police that it was not mine. The police then instigated the criminals to threaten me. They said, "This has happened three times. That’s it. You know where you are. It is not a place where you get what you want. We have ways to take care of you."
Master said,
"Why should you, a Dafa disciple, fear the evil ones when enduring persecution? The crux of the matter is that you have attachments. If not, do not endure passively, and face the evil people with righteous thoughts at all times. No matter what the situation, do not cooperate with the evil’s demands, orders, or what it instigates. If everyone does this the environment won’t be this way." ("Dafa Disciples’ Righteous Thoughts are Powerful" in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
However, because I was not clear on the Fa principles, I did what a practitioner shouldn’t do. The old forces used brutal means to persecute Dafa and practitioners and me. They twisted the Fa to confuse my thoughts. I have written down what I learned and hope that my fellow practitioners can learn from it. If you don’t put your heart on the Fa and have righteous thoughts, it is too easy to be taken advantage of by the evil and be destroyed, falling to the bottom in endless torture.
When I was released from jail, the mercy of Master saved me. Fellow practitioners also helped me and made me gradually wake up. I was so regretful after I realized what I had done. I will make up for it and diligently move forward.
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