Although I am a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple, I have not done well recently. I have not truly paid attention to the three things, and because I have been illegally detained by the evil in the past, I feel as though I was more qualified, that I had really assisted Master in Fa-rectification, and that even if I didn't do well now I would still be better than the fellow practitioners who have yet to step forward. This is an unrighteous thought hidden in my heart, causing me to lag behind at the most critical moments. I can no longer allow it to exist. Today by writing about it, I am also eliminating it.
I sometimes wondered what happened to my diligence before July 20, 1999. At that time, Fa study and the exercises were of top priority to me. No matter how busy I was, I stuck to it and never skipped reading or doing the exercises. I can still remember the wonderful feeling of basking in the Fa. However, after I was illegally detained and later released, I began to look for excuses for myself. For example, if I got up late in the morning, I told myself that I would get up early the next morning. When I missed the times for sending forth righteous thoughts, I told myself I'd do better the next time. When someone was not willing to listen when I clarified the facts, I would tell myself that they had no predestined relationship, and that I should look for the people with predestined relationships. I found various excuses, and before I knew it, I had already slacked off. Time and time again, I indulged my lazy and demonic side. Now that I think back, it was quite dangerous. Just like Master Li said, "If you are being careless for a moment, you may stumble and become ruined at once." (Zhuan Falun)
When I read the "Notice of Adjustment to the Times of Global Sending Forth Righteous Thoughts" published by the Minghui/Clearwisdom editors, I was shocked. I deeply understood the speeding up of the Fa-rectification process, and felt a great sense of urgency. But when I looked back at my past, I not only did not send forth righteous thoughts well for the three times on Saturday, but also did poorly in sending forth righteous thoughts during most every night. When I saw the notice, I immediately remembered that Master Li has said, "There is a deadline for the end of cultivation." (Falun Buddha Fa--Lecture at the First Conference in North America)
In retrospect, my actions demonstrated that I was not firm in my belief in Master and the Fa. I always felt that there was enough time left, and had not paid full attention to sending forth righteous thoughts, which is one of the three things Dafa disciples must do well. What kind of Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple am I? This time, I feel suddenly awakened. I cannot slack off any longer. If I don't use my time well, I will fall behind. Our compassionate Master is still waiting for disciples, even those who are not diligent, including me. I feel so ashamed. The good thing is that we still have some time to validate the Fa as one body, and there are still opportunities. I will definitely not betray Master's compassionate salvation. I will do well the things I should do, fulfill the vow I made in history, and return with the Master with dignity and honor.
I hope by reading my sharing, that fellow practitioners who are in the same state can also suddenly awaken. Time waits for no one. Let's strive forward together, follow Master closely, and do well what we should do!
The above is just some of my personal understandings. Please point out anything inappropriate.
Heshi!
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