(Clearwisdom.net) Minghui Weekly articles have been very inspiring and beneficial for improvement of my cultivation. Therefore, I would like to share selected cultivation experiences from the past nine years of my cultivation.
1. A Blessing in Disguise -- Sickness Brought me to Practice Falun Gong
In 1995, my eyesight deteriorated all of sudden. I lost close to all my vision in my left eye. My legs felt very heavy and numb. I spent 40,000 yuan on medical treatment at hospitals in Beijing and other cities, but they couldn't find what was wrong with me. Besides the cost on my medical treatments, I also spent several 1,000 yuan on various qigong practices. But nothing made be feel any better. My husband is a businessman and he no longer loved me. He asked for a divorce. The many bitter blows devastated me. I knelt down before a statue of Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara (or Goddess of Mercy) in tears and exclaimed, "Compassionate Goddess of Mercy! What have I done to deserve so much retribution?"
In 1997 a relative suggested that I practice Falun Gong. I answered, "I don't believe in qigong. I have practiced in many qigong schools, but none cured my illnesses." Then after some time I changed my mind and decided to give Falun Gong a try. I got the book Zhuan Falun. For a few decades I refused to have any spiritual belief, but this time it was different. I began to cultivate. I became energetic and my vision improved gradually.
2. Studying the Fa Is the Guarantee to Pass Each Test
1) At the end of 1999, I went to Tiananmen Square to validate the Fa and was arrested and imprisoned in a detention center. During the imprisonment, I behaved as a Falun Gong practitioner should and my heart was very pure. I took every opportunity to spread the Fa to the disciplinary staff and prison inmates. Many of them enjoyed talking with me and we became friends. They promised to learn Falun Gong after they were released. The disciplinary staff member Wang told me, "I know your name, address and phone number. After the persecution concludes, I will come see you." I was released two weeks later.
2) In May 2000, the local police station ordered about 40 Falun Gong practitioners in our area to report to the station daily. Because we recited the Fa and practiced Falun Gong exercises at the police station, we were imprisoned in the detention center again. Wang was our guard. We went on a six-day hunger strike to protest our imprisonment. Many fellow practitioners suffered beatings and force-feeding through thick, non-medical feeding tubes, but no one force fed me. I kept reciting a passage of the Fa in my mind. Teacher said,
"We are teaching Falun Dafa. In practicing cultivation of our school, you will not have any problems as long as you can conduct your xinxing well, since one righteous mind can subdue one hundred evils." ("Spirit or Animal Possession" in Lecture Six of Zhuan Falun)
I was neither hungry nor afraid.
One day I saw a prisoner beating a fellow practitioner again. I went to her, grabbed her, and shouted at the top of my lungs, "Prisoner No.9 is hitting someone again!" The head prisoner of the cell slapped me hard six times, which caused ringing in my left ear. Wang asked to see me. After I explained to her what had happened, she told me to pass two instructions to all those imprisoned in our cell. First, there will be no violence. Second, she has never stopped others from eating in order to force Falun Gong practitioners to stop their hunger strike. (When we began our hunger strike, the head prisoner in our cell forbade everyone else to eat, hoping that this would force Falun Gong practitioners to end the hunger strike.) After I passed Wang's instructions, the tension that had built up for days suddenly disappeared.
One day, Wang asked me to make a choice between eating and suffering force-feeding. I told her that I am not hungry at all and I will be fine. I said, "I am not trying to create trouble for you. I am on hunger strike to protest our imprisonment. I also demand the release of all Falun Gong practitioners because we didn't commit any crime. If I must make a choice, I'd rather endure the torture of force-feeding than give up my resolve." All of sudden, Wang became very emotional and shouted. "Do you think force-feeding is fun? Those people that do the force-feeding are not doctors!" I replied, "Then I guess I would be in a lot of pain." Wang was very anxious. She said, "You have not had enough pain? Why don't I transfer you to another cell? Why don't you move to cell No.6?" I entered cell No.6 without fear. Several fellow practitioners and I were released the next day. Once again I witnessed another miracle brought about by our firm belief in the Fa.
3) Shortly after I was released, I had a dream. I saw a very tall skinny man walking in front of me. He wore a robe made of human skin, full of holes. It was disgusting. But I could tell his skin underneath the holes was healthy. I woke up feeling a little afraid and nauseated. Soon I developed scabies in a large area on my body. I felt extremely itchy, especially after midnight. The itch would keep me up all right. As a result, I lost 33 lbs. I was overcome with fear because of the symptoms. I recited frequently, "When it's difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it's impossible to do, you can do it." (Lecture Nine of Zhuan Falun)
The scabies symptoms became worse. I decided that I still had human thoughts that I needed to let go off. Each time I practiced the sitting meditation, I saw the scene of the staged Self-Immolation Act at Tiananmen Square. I said to the evil, "Don't you dare intimidate me. I may be timid, but I now practice Falun Gong. I fear nothing." My husband is not a Falun Gong practitioner. He seemed to endure a portion of the interference for me because he also developed scabies. His symptoms were just as severe as mine. He told me, "We probably have done something very bad in the past and we are now suffering karmic retribution." I think it was Teacher that gave me a hint through my husband's mouth. I thought of the dream again and realized that it was actually a hint. Compassionate Teacher, I have such a poor enlightenment quality. My skin underneath the scabies is perfectly healthy. It took one year, for me to finally overcame this test and the scabies disappeared. I have actually become more energetic and more beautiful than before.
3. Do the Three Things Diligently
1) I was once taken to a forced brainwashing center. I broke under the persecution I suffered and renounced Falun Gong against my conscience. After I was released, I regretted what I had said and done during my imprisonment and for failing to pass the test. Four months later, I wrote a statement to solemnly declare my words and deeds under forced brainwashing null and void. I was ready to study the Fa diligently and catch up with the progress of the Fa-rectification.
One day, three men from the local 610 Office, the police station and the property manager came to my home and asked me if I was still practicing Falun Gong. "Yes, I practice Falun Gong," I replied. They said, "How could you insist on practicing Falun Gong when the government has banned Falun Gong?" I calmly told them, "Did you know something? Without Falun Gong, the three of you wouldn't have a chance to meet with me today." I had so much to tell them, but the one who looked like a 610 Office employee put away his notebook and asked the two to leave with him in a hurry. I ran after them and caught up with the property manager and told him, "It is fine if you don't practice Falun Gong. It is fine if you don't believe in Buddha, Tao or god. But I ask you to keep Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance in your mind." He promised to do so before he ran downstairs.
After I returned home, I felt incredibly relaxed and happy. I couldn't help wondering how I managed to pass a test, which I had failed repeatedly in the past, within two minutes. All of sudden I remembered Teacher's words:
"If upon encountering trying circumstances your thinking can be truly righteous, then, when faced with the evil's persecution and when faced with interference, just one sentence of yours fortified with steadfast righteous thoughts can instantly make the evil disintegrate (applause), and it will make those who are being used by the evil turn and flee, it will make the evil's persecution of you dissolve, and it will make the evil's interfering with you disappear without a trace." ("Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference")
In the past I lacked sufficient righteous thoughts in the face of persecution and interferences, but this time I experienced the miracle and the mighty power of the Fa. It is so true that there is no impassable test as long as our mind is within the Fa.
2) There are not many fellow practitioners I associate with, and I often don't have enough truth-clarification materials for distribution. One day I saw "Falun Dafa (or Falun Gong) is good" written on the wall of a public phone booth in large print. It reminded me that I am good at calligraphy and I could write truth-clarification messages in public. I bought all sorts of pens and markers and wrote truth-clarification fliers in many different fonts and styles. I would distribute every single flier I wrote. Each time I finished writing the fliers or each time I returned home after distributing the fliers, my husband would return home shortly afterwards. It has always been like this for years. Many people think there is no 100% coincidence in the world, but it has always been like this during the past five years. My husband always returns home after I am done with my truth-clarification work.
3) No matter how fast I can write, I cannot compete with the speed of a printer. Later I resorted to photocopying because it was less time-consuming. But I didn't stop writing truth-clarification messages either. I have righteous thoughts when I make photocopies, so I have never run into any trouble. Later I started photocopying the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party (or "The Nine Commentaries" for short). As soon as "The Nine Commentaries" were published at The Epoch Times, I withdrew from the Chinese Communist Party using my real name. Who would want to belong to a political party that was an evil cult?
For the past years, I have received compliments from fellow practitioners. I have always told them not to incite my attachment to zealotry or vanity. I mean it. Although I have distributed many truth-clarification materials over the past few years, I feel I have not done that much. It is the Fa that bestowed wisdom and strength on me. If I have made the slightest contribution, it is because the Fa gave me the needed abilities for whatever I had to accomplish.
There is so much I would like to share, but there is not enough space to write and time to put it down. Let me conclude my sharing. Let's do well the three things on our path to godhood and prepare ourselves for the beautiful tomorrow!
Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
Chinese version available at: http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2006/8/19/135900.html
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