(Clearwisdom.net) Recently I have made great improvements through group Fa study and exchanging understandings. I have learned to look within myself and can be tolerant of different opinions. The ancients said that frank advice is sometimes painful to hear. I really agree with this opinion because I have a very deep understanding in this regard. When a fellow practitioner said some words that I didn't want to accept, I realized that those words touched a nerve in my psyche, which showed that I had some problems with this. Therefore, I should look inside myself and dig out the roots of my attachments and remove them. When I dig out my fundamental attachments and eradicate them, everything will become all right.
Something happened to me not too long ago. Fellow practitioner A suddenly complained to me because some of my words and an action in the group made him very uncomfortable. He then taught me a lesson. I didn't mind it at the time, but after returning home, I looked inside but found nothing, and felt I hadn't done anything wrong. Also, I thought that I had paid great attention to my xinxing that night. During another group Fa study session however, fellow practitioners mentioned it again unwittingly. So fellow practitioners in the group shared their realizations. Practitioner B said that this incident happening in our group was not accidental and that we should look inside. After returning home, I thought, "Why is the situation like this and in which regard am I wrong?"
I then started to truly look inside myself with calmness. However, I still didn't find my fault and simply thought that I had paid attention to my xinxing very well. Then wasn't this "very well" a problem? So I continued to look within myself and found that the problem was caused by myself.
Master said,
"What I would like to tell you is not whether this incident itself was right or wrong. Instead, I want to point out that this event has exposed some people. They still have not fundamentally changed their human notions, and they still perceive problems with the human mentality wherein human beings protect human beings." ("Digging Out the Roots" from Essentials For Further Advancement)
Then I was able to clearly see my attachments and deviated notions. Because I could not strictly discipline myself daily and study the Fa with calmness, I also could not concentrate when I sent forth righteous thoughts. The evil thus took advantage of my laissez-faire attitude and persecuted me. Unfortunately, I didn't realize it in the past.
I had human notions as follows: When I heard that fellow practitioners were illegally arrested, I busily collected information so that we could expose the evil-doings. I could not calm myself down to study the Fa for one or two days, and I was busy doing things day and night, just for the sake of doing things. Of course, I don't mean that I should not do the work, but I realize that I didn't correctly focus on cultivation. When I succeeded in doing something I felt pleased with myself and thought, "Can you do the work as well as I do? It is only I who can do that."
I sometimes complained that fellow practitioners don't do the work well, even though they had such good conditions for doing it, which shows my strong attachment to self. However, I didn't realize that in the past. On the other hand, when fellow practitioners didn't view things with the Fa's requirements and were involved in tribulations, I didn't realize that fellow practitioners had already been under the persecution. Therefore, I didn't treat fellow practitioners with righteous thoughts and help them in time to eliminate the evil factors in other dimensions that were persecuting them. Instead, I still complained about fellow practitioners. Actually, I didn't regard their things as my own things and unwittingly separated myself from fellow practitioners.
Upon learning this lesson, I truly discovered my fundamental attachment to self. I also found my own deviated notions. I have rectified myself through cultivation in the Fa and corrected my deviated notions. In the past I was controlled by my deviated notions, which led to my behavior hurting fellow practitioners. Now I would like to apologize to the fellow practitioners I hurt and say that I am sorry.
This is a very profound lesson for me and after a long time I finally realized it. I will remember this lesson and will walk on the path arranged by Master and improve myself in the Fa.
When I went to the Fa study group in the evening, practitioner A suggested that it was not necessary for us to study the Fa together. All the practitioners present shared their understandings in the Fa about this issue. I sent forth strong righteous thoughts and asked Master to strengthen us so that we could maintain our Fa study group and keep it indestructible. All the practitioners have improved in the group study environment that Master created for us. Additionally, I was very glad that practitioner A was able to let go of the attachment of fear of offending other practitioners and speak his opinions honestly. Afterwards he realized his shortcoming and thus improved.
This is a new improvement for our group this year. Now we are walking the path arranged by Master and becoming more and more mature. The closer to the end, the more diligent we will be.
March 8, 2006
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