(Clearwisdom.net) Due to several years of persecution and a lack of diligent cultivation, I lost my job. Because of insufficient righteous thoughts, the old forces took advantage of my gaps and interfered in my cultivation. After studying the Fa, however, I discovered my attachment and was able to walk out of the old forces' arrangements. It is Teacher's great compassion that frees my heart and enlarges my capability to endure. Here I would like to share my cultivation experiences and let fellow practitioners correct any faults or shortcomings.
Introduced by a friend, I started working at a state owned unit, taking over a vacant spot previously held by an accountant who had just retired. At first I met with the financial section head, and I told her that I was a Falun Dafa practitioner. She told me to not tell anyone else at work. So, instead of directly saying that I was a practitioner, I would often make conversations at work and indirectly validate the Fa. After working for a while, I found that the place had very low morals. A manager from higher up wanted to have an out-of-marriage affair with me. He had my section head talk to me, but I refused. My co-worker blamed me for failing to appreciate his kindness. It looked like I was indebted to him for my job, and I would not have the job if he had not agreed to hire me. The whole social environment there was on the wrong track.
I despised their behaviors and did not participate in any of those acts. With the manager's encouragement, the financial section head started increasing my workload. She also withheld my bonus by saying that a bank had mistakenly typed the wrong codes and so the bonus would be delayed. I asked her several times, but I did not receive the bonus. My co-worker told me that I would never get the bonus because I had never bribed her.
Many things happened. I thought about tolerance, but I could not get it out of my mind. I complained to my co-workers. Out of nowhere, my co-worker passed my words onto my section head. As a result, not only did I not increase my xinxing, but I also created bitterness and spite. Everyday I focused on how to fight with them. I felt that I was smart because I was a practitioner, and they could not see things clearly like I did. I was jaunty, did not cultivate enough, and could not save them. Instead, I even made them accrue karma.
Afterwards, the manager and my section head conspired together to hire a bad woman to seduce my husband, who is not a practitioner. They tried to destroy our relationship. When I was totally unaware, they had a co-worker tell me what they had done. I was having to endure tribulations atop tribulations. I constantly resisted what they did to me, but I was in a very passive situation. Both my body and mind were exhausted.
Throughout this entire process, I thought that my abilities to analyze, predict and judgment were right on target. In fact, I was following the path arranged by the old forces. Validating the Fa and asking people to quit the CCP and its related organizations, I did not get the expected good feedback. I shared my experiences with my fellow practitioners. They told me that I was controlled by the evil and the old forces did not treat human beings as humans.
I read Zhuan Falun over and over again. When I read the sixth talk, I suddenly realized that in order to reach Consummation, one has to encounter interference from demons. Teacher told us,
"Without the existence of demons, one would not be able to cultivate Buddhahood." "One's Buddha-nature is Shan, and it manifests itself as compassion, thinking of others before acting, and the ability to endure suffering. One's demon-nature is viciousness, and it manifests as killing, stealing and robbing, selfishness, wicked thoughts, sowing discord, stirring up troubles by spreading rumors, jealousy, wickedness, anger, laziness, incest and so on." ("Buddha-Nature and Demon-Nature" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
I looked at the people around me and saw how they were forced to bring demon-nature to me. I also realized that I should look for demon-nature within myself. I should clearly recognize it, eliminate it, and replace it with Buddha-nature.
I no longer endure negatively, I can let go of envious hatred, and I no longer haggle with others. People were being used by the old forces and were destroying themselves, which is really pitiful. I should think of how to save them and use the Fa to correct them. I send out daily righteous thoughts to stop the old forces from persecuting me. I send righteous thoughts to stop them from using other living beings. I started treating people with compassion, turning bad things to good and trying to do my best. I also tell people around me the universal law of "due retribution of good and evil" and try to save all who can be saved. I feel that I have jumped out of the demonic cycle and walked into a pure environment. All I have is the Fa.
It is Teacher's great compassion and the power of Dafa that saved me. Teacher said,
"So long as you, a Dafa disciple, do things righteously, you will transform the environment around you, and you will change people." ("Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005")
The environment has become peaceful and the interference is disappearing.
So how could those things happen? Ultimately, it has to do with selfishness. During that period at work, I did not pay attention to studying the Fa, but rather put all my energy into those tribulations arranged by the old forces. As a result, I let the old forces take advantage and wasted a lot of my time. I was full of human thoughts and thus affected by humans.
We need righteous thoughts, not human attachments. Teacher also told us,
"A god wouldn't pay any heed to what a human being said about him--you can't affect him. He wouldn't in the least try to figure out how what you do relates to him. He pays no attention at all, because you cannot affect him. Gods can control the human mind and lead humans to do certain things, not vice versa. How could human beings possibly affect gods?" ("Teaching the Fa in Canada, 2006")
Now I have gone back to the Fa study group to study the Fa and share cultivation experience with fellow practitioners and distribute truth-clarification materials. Recently I read articles recalling the early days when Teacher taught the Fa. I bathe in Teacher's great compassion and feel the hardships Teacher had gone through. Teacher exhausted his efforts to save disciples and sentient beings, during which there are many things that we may never know and are way beyond our imagination. Teacher's great compassion dissolves my human thoughts and enlarges my capacity. I am firmly determined to rectify my every thought in Dafa and truly, selflessly consider others first. As a Dafa disciple, I should see things from the Fa's perspective and be responsible for the Fa and for the sentient beings; I will have righteous thoughts and righteous actions when validating Dafa in order to disintegrate all evil factors and save sentient beings.
As Dafa disciples we can only save people. We must completely disintegrate the old forces and the evil CCP, do better the three things Teacher told us to do, and walk the path arranged by Teacher, so as not to disappoint Teacher's great compassion.
I want to thank practitioners who share their experiences in the Minghui Weekly for their inspiration and encouragement. In the process of writing this article, I had headaches, tears, a runny nose, coughing, and lots of other interference. Once when I woke, I was mumbling, "I don't want to die." I know that was not me, it was the dying human attachment. Writing this has also been a process of disintegrating and destroying the attachment. As other practitioners have said, writing articles is also a part of the Fa-rectification.
August 31, 2006
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