(Clearwisdom.net)
Purifying the Body
In 1999, I started practicing Falun Dafa for physical benefits only. For three years I had had to stay at home from work due to ill health. One day when I passed by a place and saw a group of people meditating, I was quite curious and brought home the book Zhuan Falun. When I opened the book and saw Teacher's picture, it seemed as if Teacher was like a relative. I started reading it page after page and my tears flowed. Every word in the book moved me. I then felt the need to go to the restroom again and again, but I did not feel any discomfort. Three days later I went to see the local Falun Dafa coordinator and asked him to teach me the exercises. Because I was so weak I could only hold the wheel and meditate for five minutes in the beginning. I had no confidence in myself regarding doing the exercises. Two weeks later, I suddenly experienced vomiting, diarrhea, and severe headaches. I did not know for sure whether I was releasing karma, and I did not have any practitioner's phone number to call. I just had to endure it alone.
Before I practiced Falun Gong, I had to take medicine five times daily, and my doctor warned me that if I stopped taking my medicine, my life would be in danger. When I started releasing karma, I stopped taking any medicine and decided to believe in Teacher and the Fa. Our coordinator came to see me three days later and he was envious of me that right after I start practicing, Teacher released my karma. A week later, my first round of karma releasing was over. I had several more rounds of releasing karma, one of which took place over an 18-day period. Slowly, my hyperthyroidism, migraines, heart problems, uterine fibroids,cervical disc and lumbar disc problems all disappeared. I had a second life and felt 20 years younger.
Teacher Gives Me Wisdom and Courage
After sharing with other practitioners and a few more rounds of releasing karma, I understood Falun Gong was not just for keeping the body healthy, but a cultivation way of the Buddha school. In the beginning, I was enlightened by Teacher often, and sometimes I could see Teacher while I meditated. In retrospect those days were so precious.
Then the persecution started and I walked on the path of validating Dafa. In October 1999, six months after I started practicing Falun Gong, I went back to work. Everyone said that I had changed into another person and was no longer arrogant and sick, but instead calm and pleasant. I told them that was the reward of practicing Falun Gong.
In December 1999, I went to Tiananmen Square to validate the Fa. My understanding of the Fa was still from an emotional level and not from a rational one. I did not really know how magnificent Dafa and Teacher were. I was arrested at Tiananmen Square and sent back to my workplace. I got out of the brainwashing sessions with the help of righteous thoughts. In 2002, I went to Tiananmen again and distributed flyers and a held banner reading, "Falun Dafa is Good." I went to Beijing a few times, and only once was I not arrested, and that was because I did not have any fear in my heart at that time. Once I was sent home from Beijing by train. I felt that Teacher was sitting across the aisle and smiling at me. The last time I was sent back by train, a few practitioners and I were handcuffed together, and my main consciousness flew out of the train and wondered all over in the dark night.
I had to attend the brainwashing sessions in our workplace every time I was returned home. My husband wanted a divorce, and my workplace threatened to fire me. My boss and my co-workers complained that I had given them too much trouble. Because I insisted in believing in Teacher and the Fa, I made it without losing anything except my fear, my neediness, and my affection towards relatives. The first time I went to Beijing, I was so worried about our child that I cried all the way there. From writing a good-by note to my husband to saying goodbye to him and child, I felt more at ease each time I went. The last time I went to Beijing, I had to make a banner. When my husband saw how clumsy I was, he helped me to spray the words on and said, "See, now I too become an important member of Falun Gong."
I was very timid since I was a little child, and I dared not even stay home alone. When we went out, I normally followed my husband. He was curious, "How come you have so much courage to go to Beijing?" How could he know that my wisdom and courage come from Teacher and Dafa.
Going Astray—Not Following Teacher and the Fa
The fourth time I went to Beijing, I was taken to a detention center. I still did not know the importance of studying the Fa. At the detention center, I learned to recite Lunyu and Hong Yin. I had never dreamed of being locked up anywhere. The night I was detained, I looked at the bars on the windows and gates and could not help but cry. This place was meant for criminals, but I was innocent. How did I end up here? At that time, I did not know there was something called the "Old Forces, its arrangements, and its persecution of Dafa disciples," and I thought my being in the detention center was caused by my karma accumulated from lifetime after lifetime. There was only one notion in my mind, "I speak on behalf of Dafa, and I am not afraid of being imprisoned." I did not know that I was consenting to the arrangements of the old forces, and I was behind bars for almost two years.
A month later, I was sent to the brainwashing sessions, where I was told that I could go home if I just gave up my practice. Otherwise I would be sent to a forced labor camp. The police asked whether I had been beaten by the leader of the inmates, and I told them that I was the leader. Our practitioners tried to do the work before anyone else, and if there was something good to eat, we let other inmates eat first. We taught them the principles of being human beings, and they recited Hong Yin with us every day. Whenever they had complaints, they came to talk to us. In those days, when someone new came in, the inmates would ask whether he or she practiced Falun Gong. The inmates were anxious to be with Dafa disciples, because they thought that we were their saviors. The police were silent after hearing what I said, and they thought that I was weak and spoiled and could not stand being imprisoned.
Our local 610 Office officials threatened us, saying that if we did not "transform," then our family members would come to "transform" us. Teacher tried to enlighten me to get out the detention center, but I did not have a good understanding of Dafa then and thought being in prison was also part of my cultivation. As a result, I was sent to the forced labor camp.
In the labor camp, I often told the guards that when the fall came, the Fa would have rectified the universe. In reality, that was my attachment to time. In the beginning, every day practitioners were being "transformed." I did not quite understand why it was so, because those practitioners did well before their arrests. We were ganged up on by inmates in the forced labor camp and were not allowed to talk to others, so I recited Lunyu and Hong Yin, and I slowly had a better understanding of the Fa. My mother and husband also came to the forced labor camp to persuade me to give up my practice, but I refused. Sometimes I dreamed of our child waiting to be picked up from kindergarten, and I cried. After I cried, I recited the poem "The Difference Between Mortal and Divine" from Hong Yin. I told my husband that I loved my family more than anything else, but I would never give up Dafa because of them.
While in the forced labor camp, every day I recited Lunyu and Hong Yin the minute I woke up. When I had the Fa in my heart, I could pass every trial and tribulation. If I failed to do that, then my day would be hard to tolerate. I thought about the reasons why I was sent to the forced labor camp. One of the main reasons was my attachment to comfort, and the other was my attachment to time. I felt that being in the forced labor camp was absolutely necessary for my cultivation, and sooner or later I had to be there. At that time, there were numerous articles written by practitioners to encourage others with what they had enlightened to from the Fa principles. I only read the articles that agreed with my attachments and I failed to follow the requirements of the Fa. I only thought about what was the best and the shortest path for myself and never thought about how to validate the Fa. I did not want to go through more hardships and also wanted to validate myself, thus my selfish heart led me onto the path arranged by the old forces.
When I was in the labor camp and the brainwashing sessions, sometimes I was deprived of sleep for five days in a row, and my arms became crippled due to long-term hanging from handcuffs. In addition, my husband wanted a divorce. I passed those tribulations because I firmly believed in Teacher and the Fa. However, for two years I did not have the opportunity to study the Fa diligently, do the exercises, or save sentient beings, and that I regret very much. The lesson I learned from it is that when we do not follow the requirements of Teacher and the Fa, then we are taking a detour and bringing ourselves unnecessary tribulations.
Truly Validating Dafa
When I returned home after the brainwashing sessions, I read the Minghui/Clearwisdom website and shared with other practitioners. I realized that there was a great distance between me and other practitioners, particularly in the understanding of the Fa principles.
When I returned to work, my boss would not assign me a specific job so I only got a monthly living allowance. I was also monitored by a co-worker and the police called to check on me during the holidays. I had very little to do at work, so I listened to Teacher's lectures and sent righteous thoughts every hour. After work I did the exercises and shared with other practitioners. In the beginning, I was quite afraid and only clarified the truth and distributed Dafa materials at my workplace. Later I often asked my husband to go for a walk with me while I posted Dafa materials along the way. He shouted loudly, "Are you posting materials again?" and that really shocked me. After a while I realized he was just helping me to get rid of my fear. With more Fa-study and sending righteous thoughts, I slowly adopted many methods to clarify the truth.
Near the end of the year, I clarified the truth to the director of our workplace and told him that good deeds would be rewarded and bad deeds would meet with retribution. I asked him to give me my full time job and regular pay back. I had no fear and just wanted to save sentient beings. A month later I got my full time job and salary back. I then clarified the truth to my co-workers and the police department. I told them not to persecute innocent people and leave themselves a way out.
The co-worker who monitored me met with a "little retribution" every time he reported me, such as a sick child at home or other troubles. My cultivation environment slowly became more relaxed, and police officers no longer guarded our front door during holidays. Most of my co-workers knew not to bother me when I sent forth righteous thoughts. All those changes occurred resulting from breaking through the old forces' arrangements, assimilating to the Fa, and following Teacher's directions. And that is real cultivation.
Cultivation Is Eliminating Attachments
The attachment of zealotry and the show off mentality can easily be taken advantage of by the evil forces. In 2002, when I was being taken to the brainwashing center, I clarified the truth about the 610 Office. The police could not find the location and said, "You are really good. The officials at the 610 Office are all confused by you." At that moment I was very happy, so, just as we were about to turn around, there was the center.
Sometimes my attachment of zealotry and the show-off mentality emerged when I received compliments from other people. As a result, I was interfered with by the evil forces every time and ran into a lot of barriers during my cultivation.
Sexual desire is something that cultivators should pay attention to. From Fa-study and reading articles on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website, I realized that I should send righteous thoughts to eliminate it. I was affected because I enjoyed reading love stories since I was little. If there was a male coworker who was attractive, I could not help looking at him often and thinking perhaps we two had a really good predestined relationship from a previous life and I should save him. Eventually I fell right into the old forces' trap. This kind of notion was a distraction that did not appear until 2005 when I was trying to recite the Fa. I realized that I could not consent to that kind of arrangement or give up my cultivation. That was an old forces' trick to ruin Dafa disciples. I continuously cleansed my field and negated the arrangement of the old forces until all my sexual desire disappeared.
The attachment to comfort is the worst. Sleeping late in the morning, reading the newspaper after dinner, shopping on weekends, etc. A nap after eating or trying on new clothes in front of a mirror, takes away a lot of time from doing the three things and also causes all kinds of interference to follow.
Attachments are like baggage: the more you carry the slower you walk. Once you have gone astray, the old forces will totally ruin you. For that particular reason, we need to take action once we notice our attachments and not slack off until we succeed in removing them. Clearly knowing the relationship between eliminating attachments and cultivation, we will not easily slack off.
Life and Death
A practitioner told me when I was in the forced labor camp, "I cannot let go of the attachment to life and death." She was soon "transformed." I thought about what she said that night and wondered whether I would be able to let go of it. I thought about how I could be shot to death or beheaded and felt that death was not a problem for me. In reality the test of life and death can appear at any instant. For a while, I believed practicing Falun Gong was a sure way to guarantee my life, however, I was interfered with by the old forces, and my life was in danger a few times. Once I was not able to breathe. I called Teacher to save me and then sent righteous thoughts to negate the old forces' arrangements. When all that failed, I wanted to wake up my husband, but I changed my mind and thought that he not only could not help but also would create more trouble. I thought, "My life and death are arranged by Teacher, so just let it be." and I recited, "Nothing Kept" from Hong Yin and soon fell asleep. Situations like that occurred a few times and on the surface it seemed to be interference from the old forces, but it also tested my attitude toward life and death. I realized,"Ordinary people are all afraid of death and don't know where they will be going after death. I am a Dafa disciple. Why should I be afraid of anything?"
Doing the Three Things Well
I get up every day and do the five sets of exercises and send righteous thoughts every hour. If I get up late and fail to do the exercises, my Fa-study and sending righteous thoughts will be affected. When I send righteous thoughts and study the Fa well, then truth clarification goes smoothly. It is true that,
"Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master." (Zhuan Falun)
Sometimes when I cannot calm down to study the Fa, I sit down and cleanse my thoughts for 30-60 minutes. After the cleansing, I can study very well. Last night in my dream, someone gave me three brooms to clean the room. After I woke up, I knew that I should cleanse myself again. In this secular world, I become re-contaminated every day. If I cleanse myself often, then I will no longer be an ordinary person.
Only if we do the three things well are we cultivating. If we fail in doing one, then we will fall behind.
Bringing Up Little Dafa Disciples Is Our Responsibility
Our son and I started practicing the same year, and he was ten years old then. When I was imprisoned, my husband would not allow him to practice, but he still believed firmly in Teacher and the Fa. He persuaded his classmates not to sign a banner that slandered Falun Gong. After I was released, I encouraged him to do the exercises and study the Fa. My husband threatened me with a divorce because of that, but our son and I were not moved. After a while, my husband just let the matter go. Bringing up a little disciple is hard work, and occasionally I could not wake him to send righteous thoughts at night or do the exercises in the early morning. However, when my cultivation state is good, he also behaves better. They go hand in hand. We therefore must consider our children as our fellow practitioners, and treat them with less affection but carry more responsibility ourselves.
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