(Clearwisdom.net)
The old elements in my life, including the pursuit of peace and quiet, must be very strong. It is actually the attachment of trying to avoid conflicts, not being willing to take responsibility, and being selfish. As a result, before I obtained the Fa, though I was quite serious in doing detailed jobs at my workplace, I was not very happy being promoted to team leader, as I was afraid that I might offend others. I seldom had conflicts with anyone and enjoyed helping others, so everyone regarded me as a good person. In fact, sometimes when I encountered conflicts or troubles, I intentionally tried to avoid them, rather than calmly facing them and remaining unperturbed. My reasoning for willingly trying to avoid these conflicts and troubles was because I was very concerned about them.
Since I obtained the Fa in 1996, I always wanted to cultivate in a peaceful and quiet environment, because I had read books about practicing cultivation in the Dao school. I once had the intention of living in the mountains to cultivate. After obtaining the Fa, I learned that one improves fastest by cultivating in everyday life, so I no longer wanted to go into the mountains to cultivate. Actually, that was due to my strong selfishness and pursuit of my own improvement. My notion of wanting to cultivate in a stress "cultivate while maximally conforming to the ordinary human society." ("Dafa Is All-Encompassing" in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Although I still worked very hard after obtaining the Fa, I distanced myself more and more from my friends, and spent most of my time in isolated cultivation. As long as I could cultivate in this environment, I would disregard everything else. I regarded the conflicts and troubles in my life as obstacles on my cultivation path, rather than seeking within according to the standard of the Fa and finding why I fear conflicts and troubles. In everyday life, I was no longer as warm-hearted as before when helping others. This behavior caused obstacles for other people to obtain the Fa.
After the Chinese Communist Party started to persecute Dafa, I was also persecuted and arrested many times by my workplace and police. Further, I was agitated and had the notion to cultivate in a stress-free environment. As a result, at the end of 2000, I took the initiative to ask for time off in order to get away from them. But soon I realized that it was not possible for me not to have a job. Not only did my family members not understand me, but my friends and colleagues did not understand me either. I noticed that my behavior caused difficulties when clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings.
Master has taught in "Teaching the Fa at a New York Meeting",
"Since there aren't even many people in mainland China who go to temples--let alone Caucasians and other ethnicities--if I were to become a monk and teach this Fa in temples, it would be impossible to enable those among the public at large who can truly obtain the Fa to obtain the Fa."
Master also taught in "Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference",
"Except for newer students, from July 20 of 1999 on, Master hasn't created any personal cultivation tests for you, and that's because overall your personal cultivation has changed in every respect so that it's in the direction of saving sentient beings and validating Dafa. "
Only by facing the population, facing the conflicts, can we cultivate, save the sentient beings and validate Dafa.
My attachment of pursuing a peaceful and quiet environment has led to the attachment of being afraid to endure hardships. I often did not discipline myself well. The past few years, I've been running my own business, and have also been looking for full-time jobs, but didn't do any of these well. The reason is still related to my pursuit of being stress-free. It is actually the pursuit of comfort without being responsible for sentient beings. Now I have enlightened that one of the objectives in cultivation is to develop a compassionate heart and to be responsible for sentient beings.
Fundamentally, the pursuit of being stress-free is an issue about practicing only one cultivation way in one school. Master mentioned many times in his lectures,
"One must be single-minded in only one practice, and even ideas from other practices should not be intermingled."
"One must conduct oneself well and truly practice cultivation in a righteous way. Do not mix it with anything else in cultivation, not even with any mind intention." ("Lecture Three" in Zhuan Falun)
I have enlightened to the fact that if one holds on to his or her selfish mind intention and does not let it go, that is not practicing only one cultivation way.
My personal understanding is that cultivation in Dafa will rectify everything that is not righteous, and allow us to eliminate those notions that were formed at different levels in the old cosmos, and that do not comply and harmonize with the Fa.
December 15, 2006
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