(Clearwisdom.net) I was shocked, ashamed and felt so anxious that I shed tears when I read what some practitioners have seen in other dimensions. They saw the ugly demons of sentimentality and lust, as well as the horrible plight of those lives in hell who did wrong as far as lust was concerned. Therefore, I wanted to write this sharing to expose the attachment that I found difficult to let go, but was then able to completely disintegrate.
In whatever circumstances, my husband always took very good care of me. In the current circumstances when public morality is declining with each passing day, many of my girlfriends admired me, saying that I was lucky to have a husband who was so affectionate towards me. I told them that our family also had differences of opinions and even conflicts. We also had tests of outside temptation; however, we could look inward at ourselves to find the things that were not righteous and in line with the Fa. This mechanism of looking inward and reminding each other made it possible for us to think about the other side in any circumstance, be able to make a clear distinction between right and wrong, and keep righteous thoughts. Anyone can change for the better fundamentally if he or she really respects Falun Dafa and measures himself or herself with Dafa. This can also influence family members and colleagues. True harmony of family and society can be naturally realized. (Of course this is not the purpose of cultivation practice.) Some close friends gradually came to practice Falun Dafa.
Looking inward at myself, I knew I looked indifferent, but in essence, I felt complacent. "Look, I don't want to have anything, but I have everything."
The status of our life is the result of personal feelings and retribution. However, if we get lost in it, the old forces could use it to ruin a cultivator. The happiness everyday people envy is an attachment a practitioner needs to let go of. It could be an opportunity for us to clarify the facts, but we should not let it become a demon that would keep us from fulfilling our mission so that we would fall into hell. When writing this, I felt a secret laugh coming from the substance hiding in some kind of a dark corner. My hands became heavy and I slowed down. However, I do not stop, but continue to expose it and disintegrate it. I must soberly keep mindful of my mission here and be ready to recognize and let go of any dirty attachment. Therefore, I must be a truly righteous cultivator, be diligent and genuinely practice cultivation, as well as fulfill my mission rationally, wisely and compassionately.
Fellow practitioner Xiao Lian said the purpose of his writing stories of reincarnation was for people to not indulge themselves in the past karmic relationships. That would only make people become caught up in sentimentality. I became very much interested in reincarnation stories because of my attachment of sentimentality. It was very much similar to the scene of my childhood when I would sit quietly and read Song Poems. I could see the beauty of the poems even though they were full of heartbreak. The bad affect of the attachment reflected in my truth-clarification. Recently when I clarified the facts to someone I had just met, I talked about hypnotism and stories of karmic relations in the book "Sketches of Yuewei Humble Cottage" in an attempt to get rid of his atheism. However, the result was not good. He had been very courteous at the beginning, but showed his disgust and contempt saying that I was talking nonsense. I realized that it was not that I did not choose suitable materials, but that I had some kind of hidden sentiment toward the stories. This was the result of the impurity of my inner heart.
Another part I felt hard to write about was my fear toward lust. I tried very hard to get rid of it. When facing my husband's frowning brows and angry eyes, I adopted the human method of forcing my opinion upon him. The result was that the conflict deteriorated and I had a rash all over my body. I enlightened that the evil forces persecuted me by using my mentality of fear. I strengthened my Fa study and negated it. The rash disappeared two weeks later. After reading the article, "Cultivate Your Heart And Mind, Let Go of Your Desires," I knew gods had no human thoughts so everything was just an excuse.
With the improvement I made in doing the three things, my xinxing seemed to reach the state of being able to remain unmoved. However, my attachments of sentimentality and happiness made me become out of control with my husband. When my husband, who only studied the Fa occasionally, read the Fa with us, he flared into a rage twice while reading the chapter "Attracting Demons in Qigong" from Zhuan Falun. He said that I was going to extremes and was not in line with the Fa. He quoted what the book said and also said that he was a new practitioner and his desire was a lot less than before. As a result, we could not continue the reading. I asked him to calm down and said that we must take desire lightly and eventually let it go.
Now it is the final stage, and we should not set a low standard for ourselves. He had his tests, but I should not look outward. I realized that fundamentally I was satisfied with the fact that he set Falun Dafa as his standard and acted like a gentleman because it met my attachment of having a "happy family." I failed to really cherish this life of predestined relationship, help him to dissolve interference and eliminate the demons that controlled him so that we could be diligent in the Fa together. Because I was not doing well, he seldom studied the Fa and I felt his understanding of the Fa remained at the everyday people's level. Because I only sought solutions from the surface of improper conduct, I was trapped in retribution and was unable to free myself. I was actually blaspheming Falun Dafa and doing harm to this life. Since I could not let go of my attachment, the sentient beings in my world were suffering in the swamps and were sinking shamefully. What a sin I had created!
Recently, after I had a lack of righteous thoughts and failed to set a strict standard for myself, I lost my heart. I mingled human attachment with righteous thoughts. I decided to negate the interference and go out as planned to clarify the facts after studying the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts. Comparatively speaking, the result in clarifying the truth was far from that of normal days. On returning home, I began to sneeze and suffered from a runny nose. I rubbed my nose until it was scratched and I also felt a bit giddy. This reminded me of similar symptoms I experienced about a little more than a month before. At the time, I was rubbing my nose all the time and felt dizzy and weak. At the same time, I felt I was filthy so I dared not to step forward to clarify the truth.
Anthills can destroy a thousand mile long dike. Therefore, we should be diligent in cultivating our thoughts. The demons are eying us menacingly and gods are also staring at every practitioner. "Why do you stay in this world? Have you been truly cultivating? How long do you want to hide your attachment?" If we cannot let go of our fundamental attachments, then our personal security will also become a problem. It could be even more difficult to save sentient beings. We will be upright when we do not have desires, and only when we have righteous thoughts will we not attract demons. Let us hurry up to cleanse and remove the bad things from ourselves.
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Category: Improving Oneself
