(Clearwisdom.net) A fellow practitioner once said: "Searching inwards is joyful." At that time, I was unable to understand or realize what kind of realm that was. In the past, I also talked about searching inwards and looking within myself, but in fact I always searched outwards and looked at others' problems.
Last year, I frequently pondered over doing this or that and badly wanted to make more money. A fellow practitioner pointed out my problem. At that time, I was not happy and even became flush with anger and argued, "You have houses and a retirement pension, and do not worry about life. Who would pay the rent next year if I didn't make more money?"
At the time, although I studied the Fa every day, I was frequently distracted when I studied. When I sent forth righteous thoughts, I went off into wild flights of fancy and was unable to calm down. On the surface, I did the three things well, but I did not truly cultivate myself. I had a pile of attachments. I did not give them up. Instead I used all kinds of excuses to cover them up, which only fostered them.
Sometimes, when I encountered a difficulty, I knew I must search within myself. However, I did not know how to search. I searched and searched again, but it was done only at the surface. I did not find my attachment, so I was disheartened. Finally, I stopped looking for them. Year after year, day after day I was muddleheaded like this until last spring, when I advanced by leaps and bounds in upgrading xinxing and searching inwards when encountering difficulties. Through truly searching inwards, I saw that I have the attachment of jealousy, the mentality of showing-off, the competitive mentality, the attachment to selfishness and so on! Along with being able to search inwards, my temperament gradually became gentle. I no longer have the impetuous nature I had before. I now have more understanding and tolerance towards non-practitioners and my fellow practitioners. My capacity to endure is also greater.
I made a big change in studying the Fa this year. When studying the Fa I can now calm down, and it is much better when I recite the Fa now. I understood many principles that I did not know before when I read through Zhuan Falun.
Although there are all kinds of attachments coming out, because of having the Fa in my heart, sometimes I can immediately recognize the attachment and give it up quickly.
Several days ago, a fellow practitioner told me that I should mind my speech. In the past, I would have considered this to be an attack on my reputation and found a lot of excuses to argue for myself. Instead, this time I seriously listened to the fellow practitioner's words and searched within myself. Although what I did was for helping fellow practitioners, when I talked like this with another fellow practitioner, it had unintended consequences. There exist gaps among fellow practitioners in my area. In the past my actions would have enlarged the conflict. From this matter, I saw that cultivation practice is truly serious. Only by following the Fa's requirements can we walk the right way. Otherwise we are easily taken advantage of by the old forces.
Even when we share experiences with fellow practitioners, we must also search within ourselves. The things that fellow practitioners react to and the words they speak are a mirror. When we run into a difficulty, we should ask ourselves, "Why is this happening?". Because we have lived decades in this maze of conflicts that is the human world, we have formed many notions. These are stumbling blocks that prevent us from moving forward. Only after searching inwards and cultivating inwards, can we give them up. The less the bad matter is, the closer we are to the universe's characteristics. Only then are we able to ascend, do the three things better and truly reach believing in Teacher and Dafa. If all of us can search inwards, not look at our fellow practitioners' problems, and discuss with good intentions from the Fa when we find other practitioners' problems, this will help fellow practitioners and purify ourselves. Will the gaps still exist then? Will there then be any space for the evil to survive?
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Category: Improving Oneself
