(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings to Respected Master! Greetings to fellow practitioners!
In January 1999, my mother came to my home from hundreds of miles away and brought me the book Zhuan Falun. I thought the book was amazing. I was delighted after reading the book. Zhuan Falun answered the questions that had puzzled me and changed my life.
In April my younger sister came to my home to teach me the exercises. Since then, no matter how busy I have been, I consistently study the Fa and do the exercises. I have never understood why the persecution began. After the persecution began on July 20, 1999, although I persisted in Fa study and doing the exercises, I felt cut off from the world. I was eager to obtain more Falun Gong news and information, but had no way to acquire it.
In 2004 I went back to my mother's home. When I met with fellow practitioners I learned that we should do the three things. A fellow practitioner taught me to send righteous thoughts and gave me some materials, including "Minghui Weekly" and Master's Fa teachings, booklets, fliers and CDs. I cherished them and hurried to read them.
I bought a TV set and a DVD player. Whoever went to my home, I let them watch the DVD and gave them some materials. I realized that I should speed up my clarifying the facts. In late 2005 I returned to my mother's home. I tried to locate that specific practitioner and learn how to use the computer, as even though it was high tech, I wanted to learn. The fellow practitioner saw that I was serious about learning and began teaching me. He also wrote down instructions about how to access and use the Internet.
After the 2006 New Year's Day, this practitioner helped me buy a computer and install the system. In March I was able to browse the Minghui website. I was greatly encouraged by reading other practitioners' articles. In April I bought a printer, and in September I installed an NTDTV satellite receiver. In January 2007 I bought a CD recorder. I had never seen this kind of equipment, but with hints from Master I was able to use them.
After learning to download, make, and distribute materials, I have some experience to share with fellow practitioners. This is also the first time I have participated in an on-line Fa conference. My level is limited. Please kindly point out my mistakes.
I read each of the daily articles in the Minghui website. One day I happened to browse the Renminbao website. I had never seen such novel things. I browsed several times and forgot that I was a practitioner. While using the computer on another day, my curiosity and excitement emerged. I was eager to read the new things on Renminbao. Suddenly I could not use the Internet. Why? I remembered to look inside. I understood immediately and said, "Master, I am wrong. I will not do this in the future." I was in tears.
I corrected my mindset and could then use the Internet again. After downloading the truth-clarifying material, I thought, "Why did I buy a computer? Is it for me to read sensational articles? My thoughts must remain righteous, and should not deviate, even a little. Every thought should be from the Fa." Having purged the attachments, I experienced a different feeling when reading articles written by fellow practitioners. When I read them from my heart I noticed that each word was bigger than before, and three-dimensional. I was moved by every article I read.
Once I obtained a printer, I needed to figure out how to use it to its best advantage. Several days after obtaining it, I printed some materials. I was glad to be able to make truth-clarification materials, and I printed the number of copies we needed. Later I ran into a tribulation. My non-practitioner husband was afraid of my making the materials. He asked, "Can't you just practice the exercises, and not print materials?" I replied, "No, I should do what I should do." He saw that I was determined. When he was not at work, he often found fault and quarreled with me. I became angry, as I thought I was doing the most righteous thing. He should not prevent me from doing it. I was unable to hold my temper and quarreled with my husband again.
I calmed down and thought about his being an everyday person - how he could understand a cultivator? I did not work and had borrowed money to buy the printer. I needed him to return the money. I realized that I should explain the facts to him. Even though I had a bad temper, I must endure.
Master said,
"If your temper is not good, you should change it, for a practitioner must be tolerant." ("Lecture Nine" from Zhuan Falun)
"You should always maintain a heart of benevolence and a mind of kindness." ("Lecture Four" from Zhuan Falun)
Later, no matter how my husband quarreled with me, I kept silent, because I was tranquil inside. Upon seeing my silence, he stopped quarreling with me. When he quarreled with me, I sent righteous thoughts and eliminated the evil in other dimensions that interfered with him. No one could interfere and prevent me from validating the Fa.
After supper, when I noticed that he calmed down, I asked him, "Is Falun Gong good?" He replied, "I did not say that Falun Gong is not good." I asked, "I make materials and distribute them to offer sentient beings salvation. Do you think I should not do this?" He replied, "You should do this, and I do not oppose this. I will not interfere with you. Just be careful." Since then my family environment has changed.
The local people had never read truth-clarifying materials, so I felt that I must grasp this opportunity to help them. Every day I made and distributed the materials. Wherever I went, I put up posters. I remembered Master's words, and no matter how busy I was, I studied the Fa.
I regarded the three things as the most important things in my life. When I put up the posters for the first time, my heart beat rapidly. In the past I thought of myself as being bold and fearless, but why was my heart beating so fast? Wasn't it fear? What was I afraid of? Why would I be afraid while doing such a good thing? As I put up the third poster, my fear disappeared. Having no fear, everything was successful. After a while, fear emerged once again. I then recited, "What's to Fear." ("Hong Yin" Volume II)
After several recitations my fear disappeared. I took along materials wherever I went, and I went to places that I had never been to before. In the daytime it was easy, but at night I often got lost. I went to unfamiliar places during the daytime and went to familiar places at night. I have been to more than thirty villages to distribute the materials. The most distant village was approximately twenty miles from my home.
Sometimes I put the materials on a bridge used by many foot passengers, or on roadside trees, and after a while a predestined person would take the materials. One time I put materials on the bridge and sent righteous thoughts, asking Master to let the predestined person read the information and understand the truth. When I turned the corner, I noticed five people had passed by and did not take any of the materials. The sixth person arrived, observed that no one was watching him, and took the materials and read them.
Sometimes I distributed one hundred or two hundred copies. Except during the busy farming seasons, I distributed materials almost every day. Because there were no practitioners close by, no one pointed out my shortcomings. I must be strict with myself and take the Fa as teacher. While creating more materials I asked myself if I was attached to doing things and had become overzealous. If so, I wanted to let go of it quickly, because I did not want these attachments. Every morning upon arising I recited these words, "Negate the old forces' arrangements and walk on the path that Master has arranged." I would then recite Lunyu and do the exercises. In the morning I distributed materials and in the afternoon I printed more materials and studied the Fa. At midnight, I sent forth righteous thoughts and then went to sleep. My daily schedule was busy, and I always found that time was so tight. When I did well, I could see scenes in other dimensions. They were pure, beautiful and miraculous. I had seen these scenes six times, and each time the scenes were different. I knew that Master was encouraging me.
My younger sister was also a practitioner, but she did not go out to clarify the facts. I was anxious about this, and thought, "Since we are Master's disciples, we should unconditionally act according to Master's words. Otherwise, we are not Master's disciples." She said, "Sister, I am very much afraid." I said, "What's to fear? You have not been persecuted!"
I hadn't even considered that my younger sister would be afraid. She had begun Fa study before me, and she is a university graduate. I only graduated from a middle school. Her attachment of fear was strong. I brought along some materials and several sets of posters, and I told my sister, "If you feel afraid, I will post these." She said, "I will do it. If you are around, I will not be afraid."
After putting up the first poster, she laughed, "It is very simple." I replied, "If you take the first step, you will also take the next step." I helped her buy a printer, and another truth clarification materials production site was established.
In April of this year I asked my sister to come to my home. We printed two hundred copies of some materials and then went to a remote place to distribute them. While making the materials she said, "Sister, you make so many at once. I had an improper thought earlier. I felt that things were so difficult, because I had to care for my child and at the same time make the materials. Now I feel ashamed."
When my younger sister returned home, she explained the facts to her former colleagues and persuaded several people to quit the CCP. One of her colleagues was reading Zhuan Falun. My sister said, "I have not made this trip for nothing. Though I spent 1,000 yuan on travel expenses, it was worthwhile to come." After returning home, she was able to print six copies of handouts with the same amount of ink she had used to print two copies. In addition, the printing speed increased. It was just as Master said, "One's gong level is as high as one's xinxing level." ("Lecture One" from Zhuan Falun)
When I sent her off, I felt my dependence on her. I thought, "How nice that would be, two practitioners working together! We can do things quicker!" I was reluctant to let her go. One day at noon my daughter went for an outing. I hesitated, wondering if I should distribute materials. The weather was so hot, 37-38°C (99-100°F). I thought about going out to distribute the materials, and felt it would be a lonely task. I was so comfortable lying in bed. I then looked at the prepared materials and asked myself, "What is the purpose of making the materials? It is for saving sentient beings. I am seeking comfort. I should not depend on anyone and simply do the things I should do. Isn't the hot weather a good thing? I should eliminate the notion and take action quickly!" As soon as I was on my way, I was convinced that the hot weather had no effect on me, as I was doing something sacred, not an ordinary chore. When I finished distributing the materials, I did not feel hot at all.
One time I shared thoughts with a fellow practitioner and mentioned that I had improved quickly during this period of time. The practitioner said, "I can feel it. It is not easy for you to stay there alone. You have done well." I felt very happy.
After returning home I felt sleepy while studying the Fa. I wondered why, as I had not experienced this in the past. I sat on the bed and thought, and subconsciously noticed a circle surrounding me. I suddenly remembered Master's article "Don't Be Sad." (Hong Yin Volume II)
When I finished reciting the article, the circle disappeared. I began to look inside. Why had I gone to the fellow practitioner's home? Was it for sharing? Wasn't it to validate myself? I rediscovered my attachments to showing off, zealotry and self-validation. I had done little, but was proud of myself. Could I meet Master's required standards? Compared to other practitioners, how did I measure up? After ridding myself of these unhealthy thoughts, I no longer felt sleepy when I studied the Fa.
One day I suddenly had a thought. Did Master know I was here alone? The next day I thought of it, and the third day I thought of it again. At night I dreamed that Master registered the practitioners' names, and there were a lot of us. I sat in the back. I thought I was a cultivator at the time and should be considerate of others, so I would wait for a while to be registered. Finally three practitioners were left. I had no confidence and asked Master with a low voice, "Master, does it include me?" Master did not look at me and asked me back with a strong and powerful voice, "What do you mean 'does it include me'?" I understood right then that I was originally included. I was happy to tell Master my real name. Master registered my name, and I woke up.
I felt so foolish. I thought about the dream and realized the gravity of the matter. Didn't this mean that I had doubts? How much do I believe in Master and the Fa? Do I unconditionally believe in Master and the Fa? My deeply concealed ego wanted to let Master know what I have done.
After reading Master's "Fa Teaching at the U.S. Capital," I feel that I should seize the time to save more people. This is my responsibility. Master, please rest assured, your disciple will do well.
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