(Clearwisdom.net)
Greetings, venerable and compassionate Master!
Greetings, Fellow Practitioners!
It has been more than ten years since I obtained the Fa in 1997. Regardless of how I have not done well in some areas in the past or at present, I can only cultivate away my shortcomings with Teacher looking after me. I also rectify myself in Dafa in order to harmonize what Teacher wants. In doing so, I can assist Teacher in the human world and fulfill the vow I made long ago. Below I would like to share with fellow practitioners my experiences in resisting the persecution and the understandings I have come to, at my cultivation level, from the tribulations I have suffered. Please kindly correct me if there is anything improper.
I am paralyzed from the waist down due to several years of persecution. My family hired a caretaker for me. Later I enlightened from the Fa that I should not acknowledge the old forces' persecution and should completely eliminate the conspiracy that is aimed to destroy Falun Dafa practitioners physically, financially, and mentally.
Once I enlightened to this, I acted on it. I resolutely dismissed the caretaker and now lead an independent life, living on my own. From a non-practitioner's perspective, I lifted the financial and emotional burden from my family, since it cost about one thousand yuan to cover the caretaker's wages and my living expenses, which is a lot of money for an average family on a working wage. What's more, the expense never ends. My parents are getting old and, due to their fear of the CCP, they were extremely frightened and worried for me. I was a huge mental burden for them. My leading an independent life has greatly eased their mental and financial burdens. To date I have not asked my family for anything or any help, nor have I relied on other practitioners' support.
We have Master, we have the Fa, so what do we have to fear? I am capable and I have confidence. At first I didn't have a wheelchair, so I crawled and pulled myself along the floor. I did my own cooking and my own laundry. I did not withdraw from life. In my mind I consider myself a Falun Dafa practitioner and I am capable. Afterwards, seeing that I was determined to lead my life independently, other Dafa practitioners purchased a wheelchair for me. It is much more convenient for me to do my work with a wheelchair. In "To All Students at the Nordic Fa Conference," Teacher said:
"So in clarifying the truth, don't wait, don't rely on others, and don't just hope for changes in external factors."
I am handicapped, so there definitely are difficulties. Nevertheless, I enlightened that the more severe we consider our tribulation to be, the less likely we are to overcome it. It will appear like a huge mountain before us and hinder us. If we regard it as a small hole in the ground, however, we can step over it in a single stride. In "Lecture at the Conference in Switzerland," Teacher said:
"If you're able to remain cheerful at all times in your cultivation and are able to do so no matter what difficulties you encounter, I'd say you are really remarkable. Everyone will truly admire you and hold you in high regard, as it's difficult to do."
The Minghui/Clearwisdom Website suggested that practitioners establish truth-clarification material production sites all over China like "flowers blossoming everywhere." I wanted to buy a computer, but my family would not let me because they were afraid that I would get into trouble. I tried to turn their minds around for several days to no avail. A fellow practitioner happened to drop by my home and solved my problem nicely by persuading my family to buy a computer for me. After a computer was purchased and brought home, I found a practitioner who could install computer system software for me. Then along came an obstacle. Worried that I would get into trouble, the practitioner asked me to find someone else. I did not treat this with human notions, I just thought that I would surely pull through and be able to accomplish it. Teacher again helped me. After a few days, another practitioner who knew how to install system software stopped by and installed it for me.
At first I knew nothing about computers. My hands shook when I first used the mouse, and I worried that I would break it. Later my family told me that I would not break it as long as I did not hit it with a hammer. So I became brave enough to start practicing typing and so on. Nobody really taught me any computer knowledge. When practitioners came to my house, I would watch how they browsed the Internet, and after they left I would practice it based on what I remembered seeing them do.
It is only now that I have come to realize a little about how I have broken through the obstacles and difficulties. If it were not for the power of the Fa and Teacher's mighty virtue, I would not have arrived where I am today. Back when the persecution was very severe, I was the only one out of a group of practitioners that was persecuted who did not die from serious injuries. I think one of the reasons for this is because, from at a non-practitioner's perspective, I was considered an important person and a key person to the authorities. I am living testimony of the persecution. Because I was persecuted, I usually had very few visits from practitioners. When I asked practitioners for information on how to print files and edit files, and whatnot, those who usually spent time with me would not teach me. Afterwards, I turned to practitioners who were good friends, but they wouldn't tell me, either. Can you imagine what a disappointment that was for me? Of course, these were human thoughts. Later I just stopped asking them. When practitioners came over to use the Internet, I simply peeked at what they were doing and remembered things by heart, without letting them know what I was doing, in order to ease their emotional burden. In this way, I learned some skills. Due to my handicap I could not leave my house, nor could I call practitioners when I wanted something. Being isolated from the outside world, I could only wait for someone to visit me, and I never knew how long I had to wait for the next person to show up at my home. You can imagine how difficult it was for me to learn anything. Even so, I never gave up and I took every opportunity there was to learn from others.
In about a year, around 2005, I finally established a truth-clarification material production site and it became one of the blossoming flowers. I went from taking care of my own needs to downloading materials for other truth-clarification material production sites. Later some practitioners taught me how to edit, do layout, print files, burn CDs, etc. I mostly figured them out on my own after they showed me how to do it once. I then practiced the skills to re-enforce my memory. I tried not to bother other practitioners as much as possible. Practitioners with technical skills are fairly busy, and usually they provide a system backup copy for me. As long as I don't install new software, I almost never need to ask technical people for help.
Not only is our truth-clarification material production site now capable of downloading materials, but also printing files and burning CDs. In "To All Students at the Nordic Fa Conference," Teacher said:
"Every one of us is creating history for the future, that's why everyone is not only participating in group activities, but also taking the initiative to look for things to do. As long as something is good for Dafa, you should take the initiative to do it, take the initiative to work on it."
"I hope that every Dafa disciple will fully take initiative and fully play his role as a Dafa disciple."
As a Falun Dafa practitioner, I should follow Teachers' guidelines.
Over time, I've tried my best to live frugally, saving anything from the living expenses my family gives me and spending it on materials for the material production site, helping financially disadvantaged practitioners buy new equipment, and helping out other material sites that need funds. As long as I can do it, I try my best to do so--as long as I have food on the table and a roof over my head. In fact, my financial situation is just average. In the course of cultivation, I've felt deeply about what Teacher has said before, namely, when you are able to let go of all your attachments and when your starting point is for the good of others, everything that belongs to you will not diminish, because Teacher is looking after everything for us. Practitioners at our small truth-clarification material site have been able to let go of personal benefit to the maximum extent and make the best use of their strengths, solely for the sake of saving more sentient beings.
Of course, throughout the course of establishing a truth-clarification material site, from learning technical skills, to now being skillful at keeping it in operation, I have experienced some frictions with practitioners. When it comes to improving my xinxing, it's been a process that has penetrated to my core and pained my heart. Even though we have had conflicts due to differences in the way we conduct business or in our understanding of the Fa, we never let this get in the way of our cooperating as one whole body and thereby affect the salvation of sentient beings.
The Fa is the most superior and saving sentient beings is our number one priority. For personal cultivation, we must look inward unconditionally and we should not have gaps when we cooperate to save sentient beings. Throughout this process, fellow practitioners need to be tolerant and understanding, complement each other, and treat each other with sincerity; we need to think of others with compassion and from their perspective. Teacher told us to cultivate ourselves to "attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism." (from "Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature" in Essentials for Further Advancement) Beings of the future universe are selfless. Falun Dafa practitioners should be immensely tolerant and should not be swayed by what anyone does or says, nor should we be interfered with by external conditions or the environment. We should do what Teacher told us:
"Just by staying unaffected you will be able to handle all situations." ("Teaching the Fa at the Conference in the Midwest-U.S.")
Firmly believe in Teacher and the Fa. As Dafa practitioners, each one of us is capable of doing what ten or a hundred other people can do. With righteous thoughts and righteous actions, let's completely put an end to this persecution and save sentient beings.
Practitioners who are still suffering tribulations, don't be sad. You should turn your obstacle into a driving force and advance by confronting your tribulation. Don't hold back from doing the three things for the time being due to a momentary illusion that you are handicapped from the perspective of society or that you still have unresolved issues. If you hold yourself back, you have indeed fallen for the old forces' tricks and will sink deeper and deeper. Eventually you will not be able to get yourself out. When practitioners criticize or blame you, your mind should not be stirred by it. Instead, just think of it as their doing so for your own good. You should make a correction if you are doing something wrong, instead of "digging into a bull's horn." When you are doing the three things, just continue on your path resolutely. Make the best use of your strengths. Look at things from another angle. Find a different way and walk your own path of cultivation.
"Cultivation is hard. It's hard in that even when a terrible calamity strikes, even when evil madly persecutes, and even when your life is at stake, you still have to be able to steadfastly continue on your path of cultivation without letting anything in human society interfere with the steps you take on your path of cultivation." (from "Path" in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
With the demeanor Falun Dafa practitioners have cultivated from assimilating to "Truthfulness, Benevolence, and Forbearance," let's harmonize our families and society. Use unshakable, diamond-like righteous thoughts that practitioners have cultivated from the Fa to brush away the numerous demons with dignity and completely disintegrate the evil. The closer to the end, the more diligent we should be. Solidly do well the three things Teacher has asked us to do and walk our final path of Fa-rectification cultivation steadily.
Heshi!
Written on October 30, 2007
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