(Clearwisdom.net)
I began to practice Falun Gong at the end of the Spring in 1999. I was fifty years old and I had all kinds of illnesses. I had a very bad temper and I lived a very tired and bitter life. As a result, when I started to learn Falun Dafa, I felt the beauty of it. However as to how to be a good person, what it means to cultivate one's Xinxing, and what it means to cultivate diligently, I had no idea at all. I just studied the Fa and did the exercises without skipping a single time.
On June 20, 1999, the persecution began. I continued to do the exercises at home. My employer co-operated with the public security bureau to have each practitioner at my workplace pass their test. I faced them with frowning brows and angry eyes. I was thinking: I do not violate any law if I practice the exercises. What can you do to me? If you do not allow me to practice outdoors, I will stay at home and do the exercises.
At that moment, I did not realize that I was fighting with people that were controlled by evil elements. I was competing with them. The evil beings that controlled them did not let me go. They manipulated my employer to fire me, but I continued to study the Fa and do the exercises. Under this kind of situation, the evil beings temporarily did not dare to do anything against me. It might be because Master saw that I was determined, he arranged my next step. Very soon, my employer instructed me to begin work at a high school. Although I continued to study the Fa and do the exercises. I still did not know how to improve my Xinxing. I always felt that I was a good person. I felt very angry with the evil persecution.
It had been three years since I learned Dafa, but I still did not know how to check inside and cultivate myself, not to mention cultivating kindness or compassion. I recalled Master said:
"If he were an ordinary person, no matter how bad he was, the evil wouldn't pay any attention to him. Because he wants to cultivate, though, the evil will try to stop him from cultivating. And when you don't cultivate solidly you become a target for the evil's persecution." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York")
This was exactly the case. In March 2003, when the evil Communist Party held its two big conferences, I was sent me back to forced labor camp. I walked unsteadily for four years through the long-term tribulations.
After returning home, I studied the Fa with a calm mind and recited the Fa. I sent forth righteous thoughts as many times as possible. Very soon, I devoted myself to clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings. Gradually I knew how to follow the requirements of the Fa, and I walked righteously the path of my cultivation. Master mentioned:
"When you don't do things according to the Fa, when you are not cultivating in an upright way, you are cultivating in an evil way. Having done the exercises does not mean you are practicing in this Fa." (Teaching the Fa and Answering Questions in Guangzhou)
Reading this paragraph of the Fa, I was startled. For the past four years, I had believed that I was determined in cultivation, and that I was a genuine disciple. But I did not check inside to see whether I truly followed the teachings of the Fa. I found out that my tribulations came as a result of the fact that I did not follow the Fa, and unknowingly I walked an evil path. If without Master's compassionate care, the evil forces might have killed me a long time ago, while I myself was thinking that I broke through the tribulations with righteous thoughts. How can that be so easy?
During the four years of tribulations, I hardly improved myself in the cultivation. Instead with all kinds of attachments I fought with police and my family members who had been controlled by the evil forces. We did not acknowledge the evil persecution, neither did we acknowledge the existence of the evil. Master told us a long time ago how to be a good person in facing this persecution:
"You should treat everyone compassionately and look for causes in yourself when encountering any problem. Even if others badmouth us or hit us, we should all look within ourselves--"Was it caused by my being wrong in some regard?"""(Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia)
One day I was reading Zhuan Falun: "In true cultivation you have to cultivate your mind, you have to cultivate inward, to look inward--you can't look outward. " I seemed to understand suddenly: So if you check inside, you are genuinely cultivating yourself. After studying the Fa for so many years, I seemed to read this paragraph for the first time. I regretted in tears.
Ever since then, I have learned how to genuinely cultivate myself, no matter what problem I faced. First of all, I had the tolerance to not open my mouth. I started to think about what was wrong with me. When I could truly check inside myself, some problems could be solved right away. Some problems were solved gradually after I studied the Fa later on. Sometimes Master used all kinds of methods to enlighten me. In this way, the anger, the hatred in my heart gradually reduced. I realized that Dafa was making me become a kind person, a truly good person. I let go the attachment of loving the good people and hating the bad people. I could also treat everything with tolerance.
In facing misunderstanding and blame, I did not get angry, or even happy. My attachment to fear was becoming less and less. When I met someone I knew in clarifying the truth and giving out the materials, I tried my best to clarify the truth in their presence and pass the materials to their hands.
I treated everyone the same no matter whether they cheated me, or helped the public security bureau persecute me. I clarified the truth to them, gave them materials and helped them quit the Chinese Communist Party and its branch organizations. This might be because I had compassion coming from my heart.
I am now more confident that I truly am a Dafa practitioner in the Fa-rectification period. Of course I still lag far behind Master's requirements, but I will be getting more and more diligent. Four years just flew by. I found myself also becoming more mature. The evil does not find more trouble with me. I understand that it is because I can use my righteous thoughts and behaviors to constrain the evil and Master also takes good care of me at all times.
Fa-rectification cultivation is very serious. We have to cultivate ourselves genuinely. Master took us out from hell, cleansed away the dirt on us, and shouldered more than half of our sins and karma so that we are able to cultivate. We should in turn cleanse the dirty things remaining in our hearts. We need to study the Fa more, to recite the Fa, and to do everything by following the Fa. I enlightened to the fact that to actually cultivate to be a Buddha is not difficult. But there is a process to cultivate from a man full of karma to a Buddha. The first step of the process is to be a good person, by following the standard of Truthfulness, Compassion, Tolerance. After that we need to be good people who have assimilated to the standard of Truthfulness, Compassion, Tolerance. We have to cultivate ourselves. At the same time when we do the three things well, we should be good people who go beyond ordinary people. It is impossible to become like a god if you do not want to be a good person first.
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Category: Improving Oneself
