(Clearwisdom.net) Recently, I realized that I had many attachments and human notions. They didn't come one after the other; they came one layer after another. I had just eliminated a layer of attachments and notions that wanted to use Dafa for reaching Consummation, and I quickly found another layer of attachments, which was the attachment to myself.
Recently while I was studying the Fa, I realized that I always protected the existence of self no matter where I was. This attachment surfaced in various forms and was always covered up by the outermost substance, so it would slip my mind. For the longest time, I indulged in selfishness and superficiality, and nothing I did was divine. Only during moments when I forgot about my attachments did I realize the might and sacredness of the Fa! Now I have eliminated my attachments because they were not me. My true nature appeared after I eradicated the interference from my attachments and the attachments themselves. Teacher said in "For Whom do You Exist" in Essentials for Further Advancement, "In fact, other than a person's innate purity and innocence, all notions are acquired postnatally and are not a person's actual self."
I have realized that I am truly compassionate--but only after I was no longer attached to myself. I know a little story about an old lady during World War II. Every day, she prepared food and sat along a street waiting for hungry, injured soldiers coming back from the front. Whenever a hungry soldier asked her for food, she'd say, "That's fine, but could you help me move the bundle of wood near the door to the other side of the house?" Every soldier agreed and did so after they finished the food. That bundle was moved back and forth so many times during the war. This story always moved me because that was real compassion; the lady protected the soldiers' self esteem while helping them.
I always asked myself, "Why couldn't I do this as a practitioner?" Now I know the answer. I cared too much about myself and could not let go of myself, think more about others and put myself in their shoes. That was why I could not be truly compassionate and my lesser compassion never moved anyone. Teacher teaches us the Fa of the cosmos and wants us to "attain the righteous enlightenment of selflessness and altruism." ("No-Omission in Buddha-Nature" in Essentials for Further Advancement)
My understanding is limited, so please point out any inappropriate statements.
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