(Clearwisdom.net) I wrote an article in late December 2006 and sent it to the Minghui website. It was posted in January 2007. Through its publication, I have come to see my attachments one after another.
My purpose in writing that article was four-fold. First, I had wanted to remind fellow practitioners of the importance of ensuring the truthfulness in advising people to quit the communist organizations. Second, I had wanted to remind fellow practitioners that we are validating the Fa, rather than anything else, in our efforts to save people by advising them to quit the communist organizations. Third, we should cultivate greater mercy in ourselves when asking people to quit the communist organizations. Fourth, it was important to improve the quality of articles on our website.
In my article, I mentioned four posted articles by other practitioners and expressed my disapproval of their ways of doing things. I presented my own understandings based on the Fa and hoped that it would have an effect on the overall work, because I thought the problems I saw in those four articles had been in existence for a long period of time, and I believed that I had done reasonably well in these four areas. Because of that, I felt I was allowed to see the inadequacies in others and there was a need for me to write an article about it so as to harmonize the whole body.
At the time I thought my motivation in writing the article was pure enough. I put in all my energy and focused on writing the article. As I was drafting it, I thought, "If everyone wrote articles as I am doing, they would be exhausted." But I didn't mind, because I was doing it with my heart and I felt honored that Dafa had given me the ability and opportunity to make such a contribution. Each time I was writing an article sharing experiences based on the Fa, I was invariably dedicated and focused while doing it. So, each time after I sent out such an article, I felt a weight being taken off my chest, although I would still be going over some the wording and details in my mind for a while afterward.
I've never thought much about whether my articles would get published, because, for me, writing an article harmonizing our whole body is more important than getting published. Things related to validating the Fa, large or small, are all my concern. If I didn't speak up when I saw something, I would not have been a Dafa disciple. As for whether my articles and the issues raised in them are in line with the requirements of the ongoing overall Fa-rectification situation, and whether they are fit for fellow practitioners to read, it is up to the Minghui website to decide.
I discovered that some of my articles, though not published, still played a role in helping the Minghui website adjust itself. So, I have never cared too much about whether my articles would get posted, and neither do I judge the correctness of my understandings on whether my articles get published. What I really care about is whether I have contributed whole-heartedly and whether I am doing it for the harmonization of the Minghui website and the whole body. The article I mentioned above might or might not get published, but it didn't bother me. So, when it was not posted more than 10 days after I sent it, I didn't look inside; instead while waiting patiently, I put my thoughts together and got ready to make my voice heard in other ways if the article was rejected.
Then, on the 14th day after it was sent out, the article was posted, and it was hardly changed. But when I read it on the Web page, I felt different although it was the same article and it looked familiar, only it was on the Minghui website. I was surprised I felt that way. Quite unexpectedly it seemed to me that the article was not written by me, but rather it was written against me, pointing out many of my own inadequacies. I could not help but ask myself: Could an article in which I put in so much effort be a revelation to me? Am I too indulged in myself? But when I opened the file on my own computer and read the draft, I didn't have the same feeling. My own article could have such an effect on me when it was posted on Minghui! But why? Was it a false impression? If it was, how come I should have such a false impression?
I started examining my inner self and slowly I found that behind each of my thoughts there lay a large hidden ego. I considered myself the author of the article: It is my work and it belongs to me! I didn't truly blend myself into the Fa and became a particle in the Fa, moving to the needs of the Fa; but rather I had used my own understanding and the means I considered appropriate to "harmonize the whole body," as though I was not a part of the whole body. I didn't realize at all that the problem the whole body had was the problem that I had as well. So, when I was writing the article I was doing it with an air of looking down, an attitude of placing myself outside the whole body and ordering about the whole body. Now, thanks to Master's hints, I was able to have different feelings when reading my draft and the article posted on the website, and it was this discrepancy in feeling that had awakened me.
I came to understand that an individual's wisdom, once used by the Fa and included in the whole body, will become part of the whole body. When an article is posted on the Minghui website, it becomes part of the overall effort to validate the Fa, and is no longer a personal work. It carries the wisdom and force bestowed on our whole body by Dafa. It now has the force of our whole body and Dafa. Set against such a vast force, everything about the individual becomes so tiny that one would feel ashamed to even think about one's own significance. That is why I felt the article on the website wasn't written by me. That is why I saw the article highlight my own shortcomings, and that is the fundamental reason for my different feelings between reading my draft and reading the published article on Minghui. An individual's wisdom, no matter how great, becomes negligible when it loses the backing from Dafa and the whole body. Besides, an individual's wisdom is derived from Dafa, a blessing from Master based on our own wishes. Such a blessing is the result of Dafa's mercy and the grace of our Master who takes care of everything for us. It is a mercy we will never be able to repay in spite of what we do and how we do it!
When I had the above realization, my attitude of looking down and "harmonizing the whole body" quickly vanished into thin air and the notion of "I wrote the article" was nowhere to be found. The feelings I had were shame, gratefulness, and admiration. I felt ashamed, because when I wrote that article the impure thought in my head was effectively concealed. I felt grateful because through the posting of the article on Minghui I had the opportunity to look inside and reflect upon my shortcomings. Thanks to Master's merciful hints, I moved out of the state of muddle-headed self-aggrandizement. I admire Minghui because it did not reject the article that I wrote under the spell of selfishness and that pointed fingers in a sharp tone at other articles posted on Minghui. Instead, it adjusted itself with Dafa disciples' courage and openness, displaying a pureness for which I find no peer�"a pureness that can only be found in the whole body of Dafa disciples.
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