(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1999.
In the years before I encountered Dafa I constantly pondered these questions, "Why did we come into this world? Why do we live? We work so hard, but we have nothing in the end." I felt sad and helpless.
I visited my parents during the 1999 Chinese New Year. I saw my uncle who returned from the provincial capital city. He was teaching Falun Gong to my parents. He brought Dafa books including Zhuan Falun, The Great Consummation Way of Falun Dafa, and exercise tapes. I was instantly drawn to the Fa principles and learned Dafa and all of the exercises from my uncle within a few days. I felt calm and refreshed like I had never felt before. The heaviness was lifted from my mind. I knew the true purpose for being born was to return to our true, original selves.
Several months after I started practicing Dafa the wicked Communist Party began bombarding the public with vicious lies about Teacher and Dafa. I had only read Zhuan Falun once and I didn't have a deep understanding of Fa principles. Although I knew Dafa was good and I felt the TV programs were lies fabricated by those in power as an attempt to justify the persecution, and true Dafa practitioners would never do those things, I nevertheless stopped practicing Dafa because of the overall scenario. I was then the only person practicing Dafa in my town. The officials came to my home and told me to hand over my Dafa books. I made up some excuse and did not give them my books. My non-practitioner husband told me to burn the books. My husband always had his way. I pretended to agree with him, but I actually hid the books. I did not study the Fa well and did not have a good understanding of Fa principles. I also had notions and attachments, and I thus did not create a cultivation environment.
I am a seamstress and have several apprentices. Our home consists of two rooms - one is the kitchen and bedroom for my husband and me, and the other room is the shop and bedroom for the apprentices. My father-in-law often stays with us, so I had to sleep in the same room with the apprentices. I stopped practicing Dafa, but I never gave up cultivation in my mind. I thought, "When the cultivation environment is restored in the future, I will continue practicing Dafa."
When I later resumed Dafa practice, as I continuously improved my understanding of Fa principles and examined my mindset I had at that time, I felt ashamed and regretted living as an ordinary person and regretted not conducting myself as a Dafa disciple. Teacher said,
"One's environment is created by oneself." (Lecture at the First Conference in North America, March 29-30, 1998, New York)
I made excuses for my attachments and my level dropped. I wasted lots of precious time during those years.
I returned to cultivation in 2004 by Teacher' compassionate arrangement. We moved to a county town. We bought a house there and rented a clothing shop. Soon after we opened for business, one morning as I walked to open the gate I looked up and suddenly saw the phrases "Falun Dafa is Good" "Truth-Compassion-Tolerance is Good" posted on the side of my shop. I was overjoyed and immediately realized Teacher was reminding me to quickly return to Dafa. When I went home at night I took out the Dafa books I had hidden. When I opened Zhuan Falun I immediately saw Teacher's kind eyes! Each time I confronted a seemingly overwhelming tribulation, the compassion in Teacher's eyes would always appear in my mind and encourage me to diligently strive forward.
That is how I returned to Dafa practice. At first I thought, "I'll just secretly practice Dafa and not let anyone know about it, including my husband and my children, so they won't interfere with me." I didn't even tell my uncle who introduced me to Dafa and taught me the exercises. I practiced at home on my own for six months. During this time in my dreams I constantly saw my uncle reading new books. I suddenly realized Teacher was telling me to find other practitioners as they have new Dafa books.
I went to my uncle. When I explained my purpose he told me that they had never stopped Dafa practice, validating Dafa or rescuing sentient beings. He gave me a copy of Teacher's new articles and the "Minghui Weekly". I knew by then that Dafa practitioners inside and outside of China had been fulfilling Dafa disciples' responsibilities of validating the Fa and rescuing sentient beings for a long time. I had wasted several years of precious time, and yet I thought I firmly believed in Teacher and Dafa. I cannot express my regret in words. I also realized the magnificence of Dafa and Teacher's boundless compassion. Teacher does not want to give up on a single practitioner, despite the difficulty of Fa-rectification. He constantly prompted me in my dreams and helped me realize the important missions of Dafa practitioners in this world. It is not only personal cultivation to reach consummation.
I unhesitatingly returned to Fa-rectification and began validating Dafa and rescuing sentient beings. I decided to become a true Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple.
Soon afterwards, one night when I was half asleep, I felt as if something was covering me and immediately heard a thick voice, laughing for a long time. My body shook in the laughter and I could not move. Vaguely, I saw a golden Buddha laughing. I realized Teacher was again cleansing my body for me. Teacher was laughing because he was happy one more of his disciples had returned. I was really excited and truly felt Teacher's boundless compassion.
Although I was not diligent on many occasions while doing the three things in the past few years, I will strengthen my righteous belief and continuously correct myself in the Fa so Teacher will be pleased at my progress and will not have to worry so much about me.
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Category: Improving Oneself
