(Clearwisdom.net) I remember that Teacher mentioned during "Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference" that someone once asked him what "Buddha's infinite grace" meant. Teacher explained it in detail. I started practicing Falun Gong in September 2004. For the past two years on my cultivation path, I witnessed the Fa's miracles and majesty. The Fa is most profound and it is a genuine science. I have truly felt Teacher's infinite grace.
1. Obtaining the Fa While Being Lost
I read Zhuan Falun as early as 1995. Back then, I was lost in the secular world and had very strong attachments to fame and self-interest. Therefore, I read Zhuan Falun once and then put it out of my mind. How did I obtain a copy of Zhuan Falun? My husband was getting on a bus to return home on a Saturday when someone offered him Zhuan Falun. He didn't read it, but gave it to me instead. Time passed quickly and it was already 2004. For nine years between 1995 and 2004, I had been busy pursuing self-interest and had no idea what Falun Gong is about. Yet I was very skeptical about the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) hate propaganda against Falun Gong because I had always found the CCP repulsive. I was in my early 50's at the time, but I felt as though I had approached the end of my life. For decades I had suffered from severe fatigue. I am 5 feet 5 inches tall, but I weighed only 88 lbs. I was very skinny. I had a dark complexion and dark circles under my eyes. Everyone who saw me thought I would soon die. (They told me this after my health was restored). I took Chinese herbal medicine daily. I did mountain hiking and practiced Taichi daily, but my health continued to deteriorate. One day I was searching for something in the bookcase when I discovered Zhuan Falun. Looking at the book in hand, I was astonished. In the past nine years I had moved twice. There were a lot of books at home, but Zhuan Falun survived! I didn't read into it too much. I put it away in a sack in a storeroom upstairs along with papers to be recycled. (I was prepared to sell those papers! It would have been an unforgivable sin if I sold Zhuan Falun as recyclable paper!)
Later on a woman working at a supermarket asked me: "Look at you. Are you ill?" I replied that the hospital didn't find anything wrong with me. She said, "You are still young. You must take care of yourself. Wouldn't it be good for you to practice qigong?" I said that I hike in the mountains and practice Taichi. She said, "Mountains do not have a clean energy field with so many different people gathering there. If you practice qigong alone at home, the energy field will be very clean." I didn't think twice. I immediately accepted Teacher's Fa lecture tapes from her. However, the tape of the first Fa lecture jammed in the player before I even finished listening to it. I still remember that I was full of fear when I accepted the tapes from her. (I was afraid of the evil CCP.) On the way home, I was so afraid that I broke out in a cold sweat. I was even afraid of listening to the Fa lectures alone. In the end, I decided to return the tapes to her and told her that I would try again later, but she suggested that I read the Falun Gong books instead. I said that I had read a Falun Gong book and I might even have one in my possession. She exclaimed that this was wonderful! I didn't ask why it was a good thing to have a Falun Gong book or why I should read it, but I began to look for Zhuan Falun as soon as I arrived at home. I poured everything out of the sack and rummaged everywhere, but I couldn't find Zhuan Falun. All of a sudden I had a feeling that I might have lost a treasure and was overwhelmed with a feeling of remorse. For a very long time, I searched around the house every time I thought of Zhuan Falun, but I never found the book! I was enveloped with a nameless type of feeling for a long time. Even to this day, I cannot describe the feeling and the level of regret I experienced at the time! It was not until I had lost the book that I remembered the moment when I stared at Zhuan Falun in my hands many years ago! The soft sunlight shone on the book cover while a radiating Falun was facing me as though it wished to say something to me! But I had walked to the storeroom and put Zhuan Falun in a recycling sack! Because of my nonchalance and attachments, I had almost wasted countless years of waiting for the Fa! On many different occasions, I confessed my sin of throwing away Zhuan Falun and my remorse. Now it is completely clear to me why Zhuan Falun survived moving twice many years ago, but disappeared after I threw it into a recycling sack! Everyone should treasure this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to practice Falun Gong.
Later, that lady told me that she had thought of moving because business was not good, but she could never manage to move. She said that she knew Teacher wanted her to stay because people with predestined relationships to the Fa would obtain the Fa from her. She said that it must be Teacher's arrangement for her to wait for my arrival. Typing these words just now, I could not help choking up in tears! How much effort Teacher must have spent in order to give me His salvation!
I am now perfectly healthy and I am no longer underweight. In the two years of cultivation practice, I may not have been very diligent and I may have slacked off at times, but I really want to pursue cultivation because I have repeatedly experienced Teacher's infinite compassion. Teacher is the true Lord of Buddha's. Every day I truly experience Teacher's infinite grace!
2. Teacher Purged the Evil Beings Holding me in Their Clutches
Shortly after I started practicing Falun Gong, I was half awake in bed one morning when I saw another "me" lying next to me wearing a thick hat and a belt around the neck for medical treatment. "She" had her mouth slightly open and she had a sickly dark complexion. Everything about "her" told plainly that she was exhausted! At the time I thought, "Is this me? Is this what I am like? Am I dying?" For the rest of the day I was half asleep. All of sudden I saw a dark creature in the shape of a dog with curly hair running past my right side. I had never seen that type of dark shape. I was so frightened that I dared not sleep. I had no idea what was going on. The next morning, I was still drowsy when I saw another dark round creature staring at me. It chirped and ran past my left side, as though it was angry with me. I was terrified and broke out in cold sweats. I was really afraid. I had never practiced any qigong except Taichi. I was given admission tickets and went to listen to qigong classes, but I had never actually practiced any qigong. What's wrong with me? Besides, I was living alone in a penthouse for many years before I started practicing Falun Gong. I couldn't sleep all night. I had to take two sleeping pills to have four hours of sleep. While I was fully awake, lying on the bed waiting for the sun to rise, I kept hearing rumbling from the next-door neighbor who also lived in the penthouse! I complained that our neighbor rumbled all night as though they were prepared to move. My family dismissed my report and called me nuts. It went on for a few years.
One morning while I was again half awake and hesitating to get up, I saw a hand in front of me. It was a right hand and it was very close to my face. I thought, "Why is there a hand here? Why is it blocking my face?" I kept looking at the hand. It was very fair and semi-translucent. It was wearing a golden sleeve. It was a beautiful sight to behold. I wondered whom the beautiful hand belonged to and how wonderful it was to have such a beautiful hand. But why was it blocking me? While I was admiring the hand, a few gray shadows appeared behind the hand were making different moves. I had a feeling the gray shadows were the dark creatures I had seen before, but this time they all stood up. They showed their teeth and claws, but after a while they disappeared. I opened my eyes and thought for a long time who the hand belonged to. Suddenly I realized it must be Teacher! It was our compassionate Teacher that blocked those evil creatures or animals trying to possess my body!
Since then, I have never heard any rumbling in the penthouse in the middle of the night.
3. Cleansing My Body
I started to practice the Falun Gong exercises. I didn't know that Falun Gong could heal practitioners' illnesses, but I remembered what that fellow practitioner had told me: The energy field on the mountain is bad. Instead of practicing Taichi on the mountain, it's better to practice Falun Gong exercises at home. On the third day I practiced Falun Gong, an awful stench oozed from my body. It lasted for a few days. The stench was almost unbearable. I didn't know what was going on. Before I started to practice Falun Gong, I felt pain in all my bones. After dinner every night, I had a routine of sitting in an electric massage chair for a massage to ease the pain. About a week after I started to practice Falun Gong, I came downstairs for the electric massage one evening and suddenly realized that I didn't have any pain in my bones. I pressed on my chest, arms and legs to make sure I had no pain. Everywhere I touched, I didn't feel any pain. In addition, I usually had a swollen belly caused by chronic stomach gas, but the swelling was gone! I relied on many different types of over-the-counter medicine to control the gas for years, but the problem disappeared all of a sudden. I was astonished by these miracles. I sat on the chair and exclaimed: "Why do I feel so good? Oh, my goodness. I feel great! What's going on?"
4. One Bookmark Turned into Three
When I first started practicing Falun Gong, I didn't understand what an "attachment" is, but I felt that I ought to be serious about it since I had decided to practice. I studied the Fa every day, but I didn't understand the concept of being diligent in cultivation practice. About two months after I started, I studied the Fa in the evening as usual. That evening, a fellow practitioner made laminated bookmarks with Teacher's poem, "In Dao" and Teacher's article, "Also in a Few Words" printed on them. She gave me one of the bookmarks. I put it in Zhuan Falun and studied it once daily before I studied other books. When I studied the Fa, I left the bookmark on the chest. After I finished studying the Fa, I put it back in Zhuan Falun. One evening after I studied the Fa, I was putting the bookmark back into the book when I made a shocking discovery that the bookmark turned into two bookmarks! They were even slightly separated. I sat up straight and tried to find out what was going on. How did one bookmark become two? Could it be that they were sticking together because of the plastic lamination? I pressed hard on them and tried to make them stick to each other, but they wouldn't stick together. I checked their sizes against the light and found out that they were different sizes. I thought, "Silly me. The two bookmarks are too thick to be sticking together. I must have been given two bookmarks. I was too dense to discover that they are two bookmarks. I must be losing my marbles." I called myself foolish and went to sleep without thinking about it further. The next evening, I repeated the same routine. When I finished studying the Fa and closed Zhuan Falun, another bookmark fell out of the book! I was speechless! I was so shocked that I broke out in cold sweats! I trembled in fear and exclaimed: "My goodness! What is going on? What's the matter with my bookmark? How did one bookmark turn into three?" It was not until later that I realized that it must be Teacher's hint for me to treasure and study the Fa well so as not to waste the precious opportunity.
A non-cultivator would never recognizes miracles! After all, all those notions that have dominated mankind for thousands of years would never allow us to understand Buddha's infinite grace!
5. Each Thought and Action
Since then, when I studied the Fa, it was as though Teacher was in my head. When I studied the passages about opening one's Celestial Eye, I thought: "I don't want my Celestial Eye to be open. I am afraid of seeing divine beings, evil beings or any other life. I don't want to see anything in other dimensions. I want to cultivate with my Celestial Eye closed." As I continued to study the Fa, I noticed that Teacher says that it's a good thing to have one's Celestial Eye open.
Once I had to take a rest after practicing the sitting meditation due to leg pain. I shouted out loud from my heart: "Ouch! Teacher! Teacher!" As I continued to study the Fa, I saw a passage where Teacher said that it is an attachment to call Teacher when we suffer from temporary leg pain from practicing the sitting meditation.
Once I thought, "The Buddha Fa is so profound. From now on, I will study each and every word to attain a better understanding. I shall visualize Teacher's Fa in my head." But the next time I studied the Fa, I read a line that says you cannot understand it! I was stunned. Teacher is really reading our each and every thought and watching our each and every action.
Starting in 2007, each time I studied the Fa in tranquility on the sofa, the words in the book would tilt the same direction my body tilts. Sometimes the book would become as large as one foot tall! It's most miraculous that my body would feel warm and swell each time I study the Fa in tranquility. Sometimes I would even perspire. There is always something moving on top of my head. Even my toes would swell! Now I understand what this is about. It's not just me that is cultivating. All the lives in my world are excited about obtaining salvation and about assimilating to the Fa!
With veteran practitioners' help and through Fa study, I gradually learned to identify and eliminate attachments. About a year after I started, I was thinking in bed: "Do I have any attachment? Fame? Self-interest? I am not attached to them any longer. Family love? It's nothing. I won't be attached to family love. After all, Teacher said, 'Who is your mother? Who is your son or daughter? No one knows it after one passes away.' ("Demonic Interference From One's Own Mind," Lecture Six of Zhuan Falun) Besides, I have never lied to anyone in my life. I don't play politics or games." All of sudden, I decided that I must be a good person. Teacher said that He scooped all the Falun Gong disciples from Hell. I probably was scooped from an upper level of Hell. While I was fantasizing how good I must be, I felt a slap on my forehead, as though someone was inserting things into my head. A picture flashed in my head. I don't know how I saw that picture, but I saw it very clearly. Right away I thought: "Oh, my goodness. I am so filthy! My blood vessels are so filthy!" Next I heard Teacher talking in m head, "You must cultivate your heart solidly!" I began to perspire profusely and was overcome with shame. I wanted to bury my head in a hole! Even to this day, I can visualize that picture whether I keep my eyes open or closed. I knew clearly that I saw my own blood vessels in dirty brownish red. It's very, very difficult to cleanse a life!
6. Ten Envelopes
Now that I have learned the Truth, I have no fear. In March 2006, the CCP's atrocious crimes of harvesting internal organs from live Falun Gong practitioners were exposed. I was shocked, but I have no fear. I had one idea in mind: I must have as many people know about the CCP's evil and brutality. I started to distribute truth clarification materials containing facts about the organ harvesting at two different post offices. Coming out of a post office, I was very pleased with what I had done. As soon as I started my car, I heard a smash and the next second a motorbike hit my left side. I was not upset. I lowered the window and asked the man, "Did you hit my car or did I hit your bike?" The man claimed that I had hit his bike. I said, "But I have only just started the engine." Next the man accused me of failing to turn on the headlights. I didn't know whether I turned on the lights or not. I told him, "It's okay. I have car insurance. Wait here for a minute until the traffic police write up the report. If the police do not write up a report, my insurance company will not accept my claim." I checked my car and found the left rear door was completely smashed in, but the motorbike was intact. There was not even a scratch on his bike! Onlookers exclaimed, "Wow! It's a big dent!" Later the traffic police came. The man told the police what happened. The police then told me, "You should be responsible for the repair expenses. Besides, you parked your car outside the spot. I must give you a violation ticket of 200 yuan." I refuted, "I didn't park my car in the spot? My car has been hit. Are you going to give me a fine?" The policeman said that these are two separate matters and that he must do his duty. So I had to pay the fine.
After I took care of everything, it was already dark. My husband had not returned home yet, so I took the opportunity to call a fellow practitioner to tell her that I had returned home safely after distributing the materials. Then I started to think about how I should deliver the news to my husband. I was unhappy about the damage to my car. While thinking about the car, I opened up my bag to take out a thermos. Another miracle happened! Next to the thermos, I found a pack of new envelopes! Where did they come from? I counted ten envelopes. Ten! I exclaimed in my heart, "What is going on? I didn't buy any envelopes. I don't need this type of envelopes!" I thought about what I had done this afternoon and was certain that these envelopes should not be there. Suddenly my body was enveloped with warmth. I immediately realized that it was Teacher trying to encourage me! It must be our compassionate Teacher encouraging His disciple: It's nothing. Look ahead! You have paid back some debts! I am giving you a full score! All the moroseness turned into nothing instantly! I truly felt Teacher right next me watching everything I do. Once again, I feel I am one of the many lives looked after by Teacher!
7. Living Amidst Miracles
I truly lived amidst miracles in my two years of cultivation practice. I have seen a white Bodhisattva when practicing the sitting meditation and when I studied the Fa. It was a very white Bodhisattva. Several times, I felt a golden ray of light flashing across me. It gave me a fright at times. Twice Teacher changed the Fa lecture tape from side A to side B.
Not long ago, I felt very tired and uncomfortable one day. I studied the Fa for a while, but I couldn't go on. I remembered an article on Clearwisdom.net about evil beings attempting to interfere with our Fa study. I closed the book and lay on the sofa while thinking, "Eliminate all the evil beings interfering with my body and my Fa study!" After a while, I didn't feel any different, but I opened the book again and continued my Fa study. While studying the Fa, I suddenly felt several Chinese characters becoming bigger and the ink becoming blacker and the letters very large. I found it rather curious. At closer inspection, the enlarged characters read "Cleansing Body!" I understood right away that Teacher was telling me: It's nothing. My body needs to be cleansed and re-cleansed! As I write these words, tears welled up in my eyes again. I have Teacher! How fortunate it is for a life to have Teacher!
Teacher said, "Dafa looks at a person's heart" ("Untitled" in Hong Yin II) Even though I am a relatively new Falun Gong practitioner or even though I do not behave well as a Falun Gong practitioner should, I have a steadfast faith in Teacher and the Fa. Our compassionate Teacher saw my heart! In my two years of solid cultivation practice, I have witnessed the Buddha Fa's miracles. I have also witnessed that "the Buddha Fa is truly the most profound; among all the theories in the world, it is the most intricate and extraordinary science." (Lunyu) Meanwhile, I have also witnessed Teacher's boundless compassion and miracles. Lord Buddha is compassionate towards mankind. Lord Buddha's grace is infinite, but how can I describe it in human language!
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