(Clearwisdom.net) I have practiced Falun Dafa for four years. Among the three things that Teacher asks us to do, I always felt I didn't do well clarifying the truth. Although I joined an Internet truth clarification team, I was following others most of the time. Since I have retired, I have more time than other practitioners. But because of my attachment to comfort, I had not been very motivated in truth clarification for a long time. Teacher said,
"...you have done only one of them, so you don't sense any improvement. If you can do all of the three tasks and do them very well, you will feel yourself improving; ..." ("Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005")
One day, a practitioner came to ask me to become tech support for the Internet truth clarification team. Although I was no stranger to computer operations, I didn't think I was good enough to be tech support. The practitioner said to me, "The heart is the most important factor for doing a job well, not skill." So I conquered my fear and took the opportunity to help fellow practitioners to carry out truth-clarification efforts more efficiently and safely, which I believe is also a way to contribute to the truth clarification effort. I found some related computer technology books and started to get busy. I could feel my cultivation status becoming better and more solid than before.
But there are problems. While helping practitioners solve problems on their computers, I have to be patient and teach them step-by-step. Sometimes, I have to spend a lot of time trying to solve a problem, instead of using the time to study the Fa and do the exercises. It has been a test for me. I am glad that there are other technical support practitioners I can ask for help.
One day a practitioner who lives very far away needed help to fix his computer. I rode for 40 minutes on my motorcycle to get there. After I got there, I couldn't solve the problem. When I called another support person for advice, I was told that I should brush up my skills and being new was not an excuse. I felt hurt and angry, and my human thoughts arose. The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. On my way home, I called the coordinator to quit.
She listened to me patiently. She told me that the practitioner I spoke to did not know my technical background. She also thought it was a good opportunity for me to improve my xinxing. She reminded me that the heart is the most important factor for doing a job well, not skill. I felt ashamed after listening to her. Even an everyday person at my age wouldn't normally get so angry. Although computer technology is not my field, it is a tool to help practitioners to save people. I should be able to use this tool to cultivate myself and help others.
In the early stages of my cultivation, I could easily spot other peoples' shortcomings and point them out without a second thought, yet when others pointed out my shortcomings, I couldn't handle it calmly at all. Just like what Teacher said, "Some people have become like matches--one stroke and they ignite." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles, 2006") I was like a land mine that detonates just as one steps on it. From this incident, I realized that we can accept criticism sincerely only when we can truly look inside unconditionally.
I have been tech support for seven or eight months now. It is cultivation, not a job. I should be patient while helping practitioners solve problems. While helping practitioners, especially those with no prior experience, everything is a test of my xinxing. My enlightenment on this is: a xinxing test is progress in "cultivation," and the improvement of computer maintenance skills is progress in "practice."
This is purely my personal understanding. Please point out any errors.
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Category: Clarifying the Truth
