(Clearwisdom.net) I have never seen Teacher again since I attended Teacher's Falun Gong classes in Jinan in 1994. How I long to see Teacher again and listen to His Fa lecture! How I long to return to the happiest moment of my life! But I know it is impossible to see Teacher under the current circumstances in China. Every time I read a report about Teacher giving a Fa lecture at a Fa conference in North America, tears streamed down my face. I congratulate those fellow Falun Gong practitioners who attended the Fa conferences Teacher had graced, especially the practitioners coming from China, because they had the precious opportunities to listen to Teacher teaching and explaining the Fa. I must thank them for relaying our greetings, good wishes and respect to Teacher.
The truth is that Teacher thinks about each and every Falun Gong practitioner in China. Teacher watches over each and every practitioner in China, encourages him/her to be diligent in cultivation practice and hopes that he/she will save more sentient beings, fulfill his/her prehistoric grand pledge and return home with Him. On the other hand, every practitioner in China thinks about Teacher at all times. We bear in mind at all times the Fa Teacher has imparted. Doing the Three Things well to save sentient beings is the only way for us to repay Teacher for His infinite grace and to fulfill sentient beings' expectations of us.
The following is a collection of stories from my cultivation practice. They may seem trivial, but they do reflect that Teacher is compassionate towards each practitioner and that Teacher protects, guides and cherishes each practitioner.
1. Establishing a Falun Gong Assistance Center
In the fall of 1994, there were nearly 100 people practicing Falun Gong in just one small area of our city. They were from nearby businesses, organizations and farming villages. At the time we didn't know what a Falun Gong assistance center or a group Fa study was, but at least we knew to practice the Falun Gong exercises together as a group and correct one another's movements. In addition, we exchanged our different understandings on passages of the Fa we didn't understand when we studied alone. We all felt this was a good way to expedite the improvement of our cultivation practice so we formed several such small groups.
In early winter of 1994, a fellow practitioner, who was also my coworker, met a practitioner from Jinan, the capital city of Shandong province, when he picked up a friend from a train station. When they learned that they both practiced Falun Gong, they felt as though they had met an old friend. They told each other how they started practicing Falun Gong and the cultivation environment in their city. When the practitioner from Jinan learned about our cultivation environment, he told my coworker, "There are so many Falun Gong practitioners in your area already. You should establish an assistance center as soon as possible." At the end of that winter, we established an assistance center.
After the assistance center was established, the number of new practitioners grew by leaps and bounds. Some of the new practitioners no longer suffered from their long-term ailments after just watching Teacher's Fa lecture videotapes a few times. The stories of these miracles traveled far and wide. Within just a few years, the number of Falun Gong practitioners in our area grew from hundreds to thousands and nearly ten thousand. New practitioners included men and women in all age groups. Some were ill but others weren't when they first came. But after a period of cultivation, every new practitioner was becoming increasingly healthy. Besides the urban area, many people in the nearby farming villages and even in remote mountains started to practice Falun Gong. Like a gentle breeze in the spring, Falun Gong was spread to one village after another.
2. Teacher Saved My Life
After the assistance center was established, fellow practitioners and I often spent our spare time introducing Falun Gong to people in villages. During the process, I have had close shaves with death, but I always came out unharmed.
Once two fellow practitioners named Wang, Li and Zhang and I took off on our bicycles in the evening to villages many miles away in order to introduce Falun Gong to the villagers. Soon it was past 10 p.m. after we visited a few villages and exchanged cultivation experiences. On our way back, three motorbikes gained on us when we had almost reached the city. There were two men on each motorbike. They were hoodlums and they shouted dirty words at us. They rode past us quickly and stopped abruptly at about one meter away from us. It was obvious that they wanted to stop us. We knew they were up to something, but we were silent, so were they. They simply sat on their motorbikes with cold stares. Then they turned their engines off. I looked directly into their eyes and told fellow practitioners to move on. We walked our bicycles past them through their motorbikes. When we were about 50 meters away and got on another road, they were still standing still. It was so quiet that one could hear a pin drop. At the time I didn't know about sending forth righteous thoughts or how to use my supernormal capabilities. It was Teacher that protected us from those hoodlums. If not for Teacher's protection, it would be unthinkable what might have happened to us that night.
One day I attended a group Fa study and experience sharing gathering. I rode my bicycle at a high speed. It was a morning at the end of the autumn. It was foggy. The visibility was so low that I could only see things within about 10 meters ahead of me. When I was riding downhill in Gaogezhuang, a tractor loaded with red bricks gained on me. Soon we were side by side with the tractor on my left. I was almost squeezed to the edge of the road. There was but five meters of distance between us. When we were halfway down the hill, the tractor driver did not honk or reduce his speed before he made an abrupt turn south. It was too late to stop my bicycle. There was hardly any distance between us. I knew I would be under the tractor's wheels and die. My mind went completely blank. At the pivotal moment, my bicycle made a 90-degree turn to the right on its own and headed towards a large sewage tunnel. When my bicycle and I were about to fall into the bottom of the deep sewage tunnel, my bicycle was caught by a tree. Because of the impact, the tree lost a piece of bark. But I was completely unharmed. I straightened out the deformed handle of my bicycle and resumed my trip. I shuttered in fear when I saw what had happened. I knew that I would have died under the wheels and been smashed to pieces if Teacher had not rescued me. Compassionate and merciful Teacher is right beside me at all times, protecting me. Teacher cherishes us more than we cherish ourselves.
3. Teacher Gave Me Six Years to Cultivate Solidly
One night during the spring of 1996, I had an unusual dream where Teacher told me, "I am giving you six years to cultivate solidly. You must cultivate well." Upon hearing these words, I woke up from the dream. It was 3:00 a.m. I tossed and turned, unable to go back to sleep as I kept wondering what Teacher meant by six years. I discussed my dream with fellow practitioners, but no one could understand why Teacher said six years. It was not until the evil Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began to suppress Falun Gong in 1999 that I suddenly realized what Teacher meant. It was exactly six years between 1994, when I started practicing Falun Gong, and 1999. I finally understood Teacher's heartfelt concern for us.
4. Teacher hinted that the CCP is moribund
I had another unusual dream in 1997 where a former chairman of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) lay on my bed. His body was terribly swollen. His face was pale. No one spoke in the dream, but I knew he had already died. It was 3:00 a.m. when I woke up from the dream. I couldn't go back to sleep afterwards because I kept thinking what the dream meant. My best guess at the time was that Teacher hinted to me to cultivate diligently, that a man powerful as the CCP's chairman cannot buy his life and that one's life will become eternal only through cultivation practice.
Again I discusses the dream with fellow practitioners and no one could make anything out of it. Now I know that the chairman's body is a symbol for the CCP's power. His deadly pale complexion shows that he had already died. The CCP may look big and powerful, but its essence is already dead. The chairman taking my bed before his death implies that he is taking away my human rights, that he will persecute Falun Gong before his death and that his action will lead to his death.
5. Teacher hinted to me to "cut the apron strings"
I had a dream in 1998 where a large truck full of fellow practitioners came and waited for me to get on. But I didn't get on the truck or load my luggage. Instead, I hurried onto a cobblestone road leading to the east. After a short distance, I found my two sons' homes in a two-story building. I wanted to ask them to leave with me and get on the truck that will take us to our true homes, but the large red gate was locked with a large chain. I could not enter the building. Anxiously I called out to my sons for a long time, but they didn't come out. I was becoming very anxious. But I kept calling my sons while checking the other end of the road. I knew the truck would travel toward this direction, so I knew I would see it if it took off. The sun was setting. I knew in my heart that it was the very last truck home. The truck still didn't leave, but my two sons didn't come out either. I was overcome with anxiety when I woke up from the dream. I didn't take the hint from the dream.
In 1999 the CCP began its ruthless suppression of Falun Gong. The Public Security Bureau (PSB) and my work organization put me through a lot of pressure when they attempted to make me renounce Falun Gong. I refused to comply with their demand. They treated me like a criminal during the process. They tried both threatening me and enticing me with rewards, but I would not give up my belief in Falun Gong and I would not give up cultivation practice. Finally they had my sons fired. They threatened to never let them return to work if I refused to renounce Falun Gong. When my sons begged me in tears to renounce Falun Gong, I became an ordinary mother and gave in. I thought I would cheat my way out of this dilemma. I guaranteed in writing that I would not attend Falun Gong group exercise practice. I told myself that I would outwit the CCP because I didn't say I would stop practicing Falun Gong. But it was still a reflection of my lack of faith in Teacher and the Fa. Later I gave in to their threats again and said things adverse to Teacher and Falun Gong. I am overcome with regret and remorseful each time I think back. Although I wrote a solemn declaration to nullify my guarantee statement, I still cannot make up for the losses I caused Falun Gong. The root cause is that I failed to study the Fa well and, thus, I failed to "cut the apron strings" with regard to my sons. Teacher had given me a hint beforehand, but I became an ordinary mother at the critical moment and betrayed Falun Gong. I have let Teacher down.
Compassionate Teacher still takes care of me
Because of the CCP's suppression of Falun Gong, I lost my personal freedom. I was put under house arrest. The PSB, my work organization and my village sent people to spy on me around the clock. They all reported to the PSB's Political and Security Team. I was not allowed to leave my home at any time. If I absolutely had to, I needed permission in advance. Moreover, they often banged on my door in the middle of the night for a surprise inspection. Fear and worry overcame my family. I was also forced to hand in my collection of Falun Gong books and Falun Gong exercise music tape because they threatened to ransack my home if I didn't. But I managed to hide a set of Falun Gong books under a sheet of rock in my backyard. On the same evening, a friend of mine working at the PSB's Security Division told me secretly that the police would ransack my home the next day and that they would sentence me to prison if they found any Falun Gong books. My family was very worried and I was twice as worried. I decided that they must not get hold of my Falun Gong books and that I must hide them elsewhere. Before dawn the next day while the guard was asleep, I put my Falun Gong books and lecture tapes in a box and sent the box to a fellow practitioner, who was also a work colleague. Her husband is the Chairman of the PSB's Security Division. He used to support Falun Gong before the suppression began and had a good rapport with me. I believed that he would keep my books safe. However, to my surprise and utter disappointment, he gave in to the CCP's pressure and handed in my Falun Gong books. His wife also gave in to the pressure and gave up practicing Falun Gong.
Now that the environment in China was changed, I was unable to study the Fa or practice the Falun Gong exercises. At the beginning of the suppression, I gave in to the CCP's pressure and said things I shouldn't have said. I was tormented by my conscience. I felt I had let Teacher down and betrayed Falun Gong. I thought Teacher would never accept me as his student again and the very thought of it caused me all the more pain. Tension, agony and confusion took a severe toll on my health. My old health problems began to surface. I even developed new ailments. A frozen shoulder especially gave me a lot of pain. I couldn't afford to use my right arm because it would give me excruciating pain. My right shoulder joint became stiff. I could not even walk with my right arm hanging loose. To reduce the pain, I had to use my left hand to support my right arm when bending it. If I should accidentally press on my right arm when I slept at night, I would shriek in pain.
Each day felt like a year when I was tormented mentally and physically. To reduce my physical pain, I started to take medicine and go see famous physicians in my area. I spent more than 1,000 yuan on medical treatment, but I continued to suffer from excruciating pain. When I heard that a physician in the city was famous for treating frozen shoulder, I went see him and spent 200 yuan for an operation However, the problem became worse. I was living in hell after I was forced to part with Teacher and the Fa and after I lost the cultivation environment.
At the darkest hour, a fellow practitioner brought me a Falun Gong book and exercise music tape. I was ecstatic when I received Zhuan Falun and a Falun Gong exercise music tape. I listened to the exercise music with an earphone (because of the guards) and started to practice Falun Gong exercises right away. An hour flew by quickly when I practiced the standing exercises. I didn't feel any pain in my arm. Instead, I felt wonderful. Under Teacher's compassionate protection, I started to study the Fa and cultivate myself again. The frozen shoulder that had tortured me for eight months disappeared! I didn't live up to the title of a Falun Gong practitioner, but Teacher didn't give up on me. Teacher continues to look after and watch over me. Teacher prompted me to keep eliminating my attachments and keep cultivating diligently. After a while, I was pleasantly surprised by a non-practitioner who brought me a music CD with Falun Gong practitioners' music. He told me that someone asked him to bring it to me, but he wouldn't tell me the name. I knew these were Teacher's arrangements. I accepted the CD for the treasure it is. I often listen to the music on the CD at night behind closed doors with my earphone on. When I listen to the music, tears flow down my face.
7. Teacher encourages me to step out and clarifying the truth to save sentient beings
In the spring of 2001, I repeatedly had the same dream where I kept failing an exam. I looked at the questions helplessly and woke up from the dream before I attempted to answer any question. I realized that Teacher was prompting me to step out and clarify the truth to save sentient beings in order to pass the exam as a Falun Gong practitioner in the Fa-rectification period. Tethered by fear, I only studied the Fa, practiced Falun Gong exercises and sent forth righteous thoughts at home. I knew it was wrong, but I just could not overcome my fear.
One night I had another unusual dream where Teacher gave me an exam sheet, on which there were questions and answers. All I had to do was to copy the answers, but I woke up before I had time to do it. I was sleepless for the rest of the night because I didn't understand what the dream meant. The next morning a fellow practitioner brought me "Minghui Weekly" and stickers that said "Falun Gong is good." When I saw the stickers, I understood what the dream meant. Teacher was hinting to me to clarify the truth to save sentient beings. Although I still had some fear, I decided it was high time that I step out because Teacher repeatedly hinted to me to do it. I must do the Three Things well so that Teacher will worry less for me and be a little proud of me. After breakfast, I did heshi in front of Teacher's photograph, asking for Teacher's help to reinforce my righteous thoughts. I traveled many miles to a rock landmark on a road because it is a major traffic point, which makes it an excellent choice to spread the truth about Falun Gong. While no one was around, I took a sticker out of my pocket in a hurry and posted on the rock. My hands trembled in the process and I left right away. I finally let out a sigh of relief. When I looked back at the sticker that says "Falun Gong is good" and "Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance" basking in the sunlight, I felt it was really worth it. Since then, I often go out to distribute and post truth-clarification materials and clarify the truth during early morning, noon and evening or when farmers are busiest. Each time I go out to clarify the truth, I ask Teacher to reinforce my righteous thoughts. I keep sending forth righteous thoughts throughout the process. Because of Teacher's compassion and protection, I always return home safely.
I shall be all the more diligent in clarifying the truth to save sentient beings so as not to let down compassionate Teacher.
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