(Clearwisdom.net) The other day at group Fa-study, I volunteered to babysit another couple's children as well as my own - three boys and two girls. I noticed that the boys were more playful and naughty, but when they were disciplined, they listened and calmed down immediately.
The two daughters of the practitioner hosting the Fa-study, however, were quiet and well behaved most of the time, but when they were unhappy about something, they went to complain to their mother who would come to "defend them against injustice."
When I asked one of the 4-year-old girls to close the door behind her, she said "no" before I could finish what I had to say and went straight to her mother to complain. I was surprised at her rudeness.
However, when I reflect back on that day and look within myself, I was surprised to find that I also have the same attitude as the two young girls. On the surface, I am able to endure hardships when doing truth-clarification projects. Sometimes when fellow practitioners treated me unfairly, I controlled myself well. But after digging deeper, I realized that whenever I had disagreements with our local coordinator, I always thought of complaining about it to Teacher. Isn't this thought of mine the same as that of the kids complaining to their mother? Although it seemed like I was being responsible to the Fa when I saw what the coordinator was doing might affect the progress of Fa-rectification. Several times, the coordinator stopped me from taking part in projects that needed people the most, causing delay or unnecessary interference in the process of doing things collectively. However, the results turned out pretty well, and did not really affect Fa-rectification much. As a matter of fact, Teacher is always watching over us and giving us opportunities to let go of our human notions.
Although what the coordinator did hurt my feelings, wasn't it creating an opportunity for me to raise my xinxing? Isn't it the more emotionally hurt I felt, the faster I can eliminate my attachment and raise my level? What I am losing is the black substance, karma.
And why did I feel more strongly towards the coordinator and not as much when in conflicts with other practitioners? Wasn't this an attachment to the differentiation of class? We cultivate among ordinary people in society and among our fellow practitioners. We can't have the notion of class. We should cultivate ourselves well utilizing these "forms of the formless."
Please kindly correct me if I am wrong.
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Category: Improving Oneself
