(Clearwisdom.net) I have now watched Master's recent lecture "Fa Teaching Given to the Australian Practitioners," over 10 times. Every time I see it, I feel as if I am actually sitting there listening to Master. The most obvious change I see in myself is my enlightenment to the importance and deep profoundness of looking inward.
I have been practicing Falun Dafa for 12 years. I have memorized much of Master's Fa and know the principle of looking inward. However, my looking inward has only been shallow, without any depth. When I encountered a problem or was criticized, I tried to look inward for my inadequacies and strengths, but I also tended to find inadequacies in others in order to balance my mind. In the end, I became confused.
In May 2004, a local practitioner told me that another practitioner had mentioned that I had a great attachment to fear. She said that I feared this and that and that the only thing I didn't fear was that Master wouldn't want me. I felt very sad after hearing this. Master has required us to look inward when we encounter problems, so I did, and indeed found a great attachment of fear. I realized that the practitioner was right about this, and that Master had used his mouth to remind me to quickly abandon my attachment.
Nevertheless, because of my attachment to "ego," I was quite indignant. I thought, "That practitioner didn't know the actual situation I was dealing with, and it seems he only saw my failings. He didn't seem to know that I had done quite well in Fa-rectification projects, and since we haven't seen each other for many years, how did he know that I had the attachment of fear? He was also talking behind my back, so was he really living up to the xinxing standard of a practitioner? His righteous thoughts must not be very strong." These negative thoughts began to overwhelm my mind, and interference came from thought karma, deviated notions, and the old forces elements.
The next day, a practitioner said that a coordinator had asked him to tell me that, while I looked okay on the surface, during critical times, I was devoid of righteous thoughts. On the third day, another practitioner came to my house and told me that someone had said I had a strong attachment of jealousy and I was petty-minded. I took her words sincerely to heart. My first thought was, "Good things are coming. Thank you, my fellow practitioners." Then, I used my righteous thoughts, calmed myself down, and looked inward according to the principles of the Fa. In the end, I found the deep-rooted attachments that I had formed over decades of journeying in this human life. I negated them and purged them.
Master's recent lecture to Australian practitioners has awakened me from the maze. I now sincerely promise that, beginning now, I will undergo a great change. No matter what kind of problems I encounter, I will hold onto this thought: "I will search inside for my failings and dig deep to uproot my attachments." I will hold onto this golden thought and purge all my thought karma, deviated notions, and the old force elements.
I now feel more levelheaded and clear-minded. I can pay better attention to Fa study and understand more. Whenever a thought comes up, I immediately know whether it is good or bad. If it is negative, I immediately eliminate it and clean it out. I truly feel that whatever I encounter in my daily life is good. Whether the situation is positive or negative, I can make use of it to upgrade my xinxing. I feel that every thought I have is capable of validating the Fa, disintegrating the evil, and saving sentient beings. No matter where I am--be it at home, on the street, or at work--I feel I am surrounded by a compassionate and calm energy field. I have now enlightened to the principles of looking inward.
This is just my understanding that I wish to share with my fellow practitioners.
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Category: Improving Oneself
