(Clearwisdom.net) I obtained the Fa in 1997. In July 1999, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started a massive persecution of Falun Gong. I was dumbstruck by the aggressiveness of the evil suppression and was lost for almost seven years. Although I still tried to follow the principles of "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance" in my behavior, I stopped studying the Fa, doing the exercises and did not do any Fa-rectification work. Those were seven years wasted!
Since I did not study the Fa for a long time, it was hard for me to maintain my xinxing level. I encountered a series of family conflicts. I became very confrontational with my husband and my in-laws as I slipped to a very dangerous edge. One day after a long day's work, I suddenly developed a fever accompanied with heaviness in my chest and breathing difficulty. My family took me to the hospital. The doctors put me on an IV and gave me oxygen. I struggled for most of the night. The oxygen tube was in my nose but did not help me breathe at all. I felt like I was suffocating. I suddenly realized that Teacher was calling me back into Dafa. Teacher was telling me clearly: If you continue like this, you will be in a dangerous situation.
During the past seven years, some fellow practitioners came to see me and tried to remind me to be diligent in cultivation. However, my mind seemed to be suppressed and hindered by something that prevented me from truly doing the three things a Dafa disciple should do. Now that I think back, I realize that these tribulations were not arranged by Teacher. It was the old forces that grasped the weakness in my attachment to human notions. My mind was suppressed and controlled by my weakness and just as it was said in the Fa: "Should attachments be too heavy, bearings will be lost." (Hong Yin (II))
I finally awakened and began to diligently do the three things in 2006. I suddenly awoke and deeply regretted the time I lost. Thus, I used all the time I had to do the three things that a practitioner should do. Teacher wanted me to catch up quickly to the main body of practitioners. He pointed out almost every one of my attachments in my dreams.
At the time, I felt that I had too many attachments and did not know which one to deal with first. The best thing to do was to study the Fa as much as possible and catch up with the others! As such, in everyday life I based every thought on the Fa and always measured the correctness of my thoughts using Fa. I went through several sickness karma tribulations.
During the most severe one I twisted my back and had to lie on the bed. Any small movement would cause me to cry out in pain. I could not even get up to go to the washroom. My family tried to persuade me to get a massage. I firmly said: "No, this is sickness karma being eliminated. This is to test whether I am treating it as illness and to test whether I am attached to my own body." Later, fellow practitioners came to my house and sent forth righteous thoughts with me. One practitioner saw a black being in another dimension dwelling on the small of my back. I felt much better afterward. Before long I completely recovered. When I searched inside myself, I found that I had not been spending much time studying the Fa and doing the exercises. My xinxing level was not well maintained, thus creating an opportunity for the evil to take hold.
I came to realize that in cultivation, just as Teacher had said, we will be tested again and again on the firmness of our belief in the Fa and in Teacher. Every once in a while my family would try to persuade me to quit cultivation. Sometimes they would try to persuade me in a gentle manner, sometimes very harshly. When I first heard them say these things, I could not help but worry that my innocent relatives could suffer from the persecution because of my cultivation. I could not bear that! But on second thought I realized this is not right. I am cultivating the highest Fa of this universe. Who is entitled to persecute me?! "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance" is Buddha Law. It is the highest Fa that created all beings in the universe! Who dares to persecute us?! When one has adequate righteous thoughts, he or she is a radiant god. All evil will stay away from such a person. When my family later said anything to persuade me to quit Dafa work, my heart was not swayed at all. I continued to do whatever I had to do.
I can feel that I am reaching higher levels in cultivation. The power of my righteous thoughts has been increasing. When I first started sending forth righteous thoughts, my level was low and I had not been doing enough exercises. As a result, I always felt very tired afterward and I felt that my righteous thoughts were weak. Now I can fully concentrate under whatever circumstances and I feel very powerful as if nothing can stop the power of my righteous thoughts.
Many Dafa practitioners have children. It is not coincidental that we practitioners can become parents and children to each other in the grandness of Fa-rectification. These children come here for the Fa. It is our responsibility to give them the opportunity to cultivate. I believe that many of them come from high levels and have various supernatural abilities. The first time I taught my child to do the exercises he was able to "Hold the Wheel" for the entire half hour. I asked him if he was tired and he said he was but he could still continue. One day he told me that the previous night Teacher had taken his true spirit out to eliminate evil. Since then, his celestial eye has been open. He sees many scenes in other dimensions. He told me that there were very few rotten demons left in other dimensions, that now it is mainly vicious gods that continue to cause interference and persecute practitioners.
On one occasion we were sending righteous thoughts focused on the Beijing Women's Prison and my son said: "There is a very big vicious god there. Hundreds of thousands of light beams from the Dafa practitioners shone on it but it would not budge. Mother, what can we do if our righteous thoughts don't work?" I said, "No worries, we will continue to send righteous thoughts until it is eliminated." In the end, Dafa practitioners' unified righteous thoughts worked. The vicious god dissolved seconds later.
When sending righteous thoughts, it is important to clear the space and field around us. I cleanse myself every time I send righteous thoughts. However, when I started cultivation I would feel that my head was foggy and I had bad memories. Things that were in my hands moments before would be nowhere to be found the next moment. I had trouble studying the Fa. I was depressed about this; I did not know what went wrong. After my son's celestial eye opened, he told me that there was a huge black lotus flower in my body in another dimension. The lotus flower was deeply rooted in my body and it had been there since I started cultivation. Its roots were very thick. He demonstrated using his hands and said, "The smallest root is as big as this" (about 3 meters in diameter). After hearing that, I immediately started cleansing my space and my environment. This time I had true intentions and I cleaned it out very quickly. I asked myself why was I not able to clean it out before. It seemed that previously I had thought that my space had been under control, so when I sent righteous thoughts, I took it for granted. That was how the evil could stay in my space for so long. When I cleared it, my head suddenly became clear. I felt strong and powerful when sending righteous thoughts, and I could concentrate while studying the Fa.
Fellow practitioners, if you feel that something is wrong with your physical body or your notions, you must send righteous thoughts. As long as you have strong and pure intentions, your righteous thoughts should be powerful.
I see that some practitioners' children are not in a good cultivation state. Maybe it is because the adults are too busy. The children are weak in self-discipline. There are various effective and flexible ways we can use to help them cultivate. For example, we can instill the notion of cultivation when we talk to them. Some children do not like to read but we can let them listen to an MP3 player. If they do not have time to do the exercises, we can ask them to meditate for a while before going to sleep.
After so many years of cultivation, I feel that I have eliminated some human notions, but not all. There are some circumstances in which my human notions still react very strongly. I have enjoyed singing ever since I was little and I think I can sing quite well. I once attended a gathering with Karaoke. When I heard the music I became big-headed. I could not wait to show off my singing. Then I knew it was another attachment that I need to let go so I sat tight, but my heart was itching to sing. Then I thought, I cannot let my attachment go anyway so I may as well go take a turn. I sang a song but found out that everyone left the banquet hall while I sang, yet it was crowded before I began! It seemed like Teacher used this method to help me let go of my attachments. In another similar incident I sang a song but felt it was not pleasant to the ears. It happened to help me get rid of my attachment to showing off my voice.
My child told me what he saw: our gong columns grow rapidly as we do the three things. The main body of Dafa practitioners has already exceeded the Three Realms.
Fellow practitioners, don't underestimate yourselves. Treat yourselves as righteous divine beings and treat everything with full righteous thoughts. The most magnificent future is awaiting Dafa practitioners. However, everything comes from the Fa. We have to treat the Fa as our teacher. Only in the Fa can we elevate!
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Category: Improving Oneself
