(Clearwisdom.net) Many of the practitioners I met when they were children have now grown up. Some are busy with high school and others are at university. Some have drifted away from the Fa. I am writing to share my understanding of the mistakes I made and to urge everyone to teach children practitioners well.
My daughter is a sophomore in college. I have put a lot of effort into preventing her from stopping to cultivate. One of the greatest problems was my sentimentality for her. This caused her to be very rebellious in the last three years of high school. She was an outstanding and all-rounded student and had been helping me since elementary school through junior high to do the three things. She was accepted into a very good high school, as she ranked third in junior high.
During her last years in high school, I was confounded by the changes in her. She studied the Fa just to please me. She would read a couple of pages when I was there and closed the book the minute I left. I knew very well that this mirrored my cultivation state. I was too attached to her. I spoke to others about Falun Gong, using her outstanding achievements at school as an example. Alas, all this was intermingled with my show-off mentality.
I had always kept my daughter on a short leash. My attachment to her superseded everything else. I knew that I should eliminate this attachment, but I didn't know how. I kept postponing it until her grades began to deteriorate. In the end, she only made it to a junior college. I wanted her to go to a provincial university, but she wanted to leave home and stay away as far as possible. It was as if she didn't want to be among us. I tried to do the three things well, in addition to my job and housework and taking care of the elderly in my family. And yet, my sentimentality kept me in its thrall.
When my daughter left for school, I went with her. My sentimentality was unleashed. I was crying in the taxi, worrying that she would not be cultivating diligently and that I would be parting ways with her. I hated myself for crying so much, but I could not stop. I don't know how long I cried, but then suddenly thought about Teacher. Please, Teacher help me stop crying. I stopped. I was shocked by this sudden reaction. I could see how strong my sentimentality was. It was my sentimentality and not the state of a Dafa practitioner. I regret that I pushed my daughter away from home and from the Fa, because of my attachments. How could I consummate with such a large attachment.
After I returned home, I tried not to think about her. I text messaged her to remind her to study the Fa. As well, I collected some articles from the Minghui website and mailed them to her along with some of her clothing and snacks. Over the next days, as my cultivation level improved, I grew less attached to her and her state also turned for the better. But I did not get rid of the sentimentality myself. It was a result of Dafa's power and the forced separation with my daughter.
My daughter came home during the summer. She now studies the Fa without my urging her. I cherished her being home, so I organized a get together with 6 young people and their mothers. One youngster had given up cultivation, but resumed after the two got together and we parents cooperated, as well.
My experience and lessons have made me understand that as parents, it is important to cultivate ourselves well. While I was writing this article, I enlightened to another attachment. I saw my daughter as my child and wanted her to do things my way, but did not treat her as a fellow practitioner and therefore turned her off.
I felt that I have let Teacher down. I have done disservice to Dafa and my daughter. It was because Teacher trusted me that I had this child. I can only work harder, so I do not let Teacher down in the future.
I hope that fellow practitioners will write about their experiences so we can exchange and share.
Teacher does not want to leave any practitioner behind. Don't make Teacher wait any more.
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Category: Improving Oneself
