(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings respected Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!
I obtained the Fa in 1996, and to me it was just as a fellow practitioner said: It was Master who picked us up out of the mud and washed us clean. It was Master who gave us our lives. Before I began practicing Falun Gong, I had many diseases, and my body was purified after I studied the Fa. Really, Master has given me so much! Because I have not studied the Fa enough and my enlightenment quality is not good, to this day I struggle quite a bit on my cultivation path. When I heard about the Fifth Internet Experience Sharing Conference for Practitioners in China, I was quite excited, and encouraged by my fellow practitioners, I decided to report to Master the cultivation path I have walked.
Eliminating the Attachment to Sentiment for Family
My husband suddenly passed away in 2003, and I was immersed in tears every day. I could no longer study the Fa or do the exercises, and I avoided fellow practitioners. My xinxing dropped to the level of everyday people. Although Master hinted at me many times in my dreams, I still didn't enlighten to it. My body also appeared to be getting very ill. Eventually reminded by fellow practitioners, I realized that I was being dragged down by human sentimentality, and I was getting farther and farther away from Master and the Fa.
Master told us in Lecture Six of Zhuan Falun, "Aren't they here to torment you? They use this form to make you unable to lead a good life."
Yes, my late husband was not a practitioner, and human beings have to go through birth, old age, illness, and death. This is a Fa principle of the universe. I am a cultivator, so how could I be so moved by sentimentality, which almost destroyed me? Finally illuminated by the Fa and with compassionate Master's help, I returned to Dafa cultivation. I once again attended group Fa-study and joined fellow practitioners in truth-clarification and passing out informational materials in rural areas.
The Miraculous Dafa
I noticed that our local younger practitioners had so much to do. They had to take care their children and families, go to work, study the Fa, do the exercises, make materials and tell people about the persecution of Falun Gong, etc. They were so busy that sometimes they didn't even have time to eat or sleep. Compared to them, older practitioners such as myself don't have to take care of families, so we have much more time than these younger practitioners. The Minghui/Clearwisdom website suggested that materials production centers should be established everywhere, so I thought if I could do something for Dafa, wouldn't that reduce younger practitioners' workload as well? I shared my thoughts with fellow practitioners and they all supported me. With the help of younger practitioners, I learned how to make the materials. No one would ever imagine that someone like me, who is over sixty years old and didn't even finish elementary school, could deal with computers and printers.
I remember that one time our technical support practitioner went out of town. Fellow practitioners were all waiting to pick up materials from me, but my printer stopped working. I couldn't understand the manual, and didn't know anything about hardware. I was so anxious that I almost cried. But then I thought, "Master and the Fa are here, so there is nothing that can't be solved." I asked Master to help me and, with Master's hints, I successfully fixed the printer. I was so happy when the neat, beautiful materials were all printed out.
Another time when I was about to print materials, the computer suddenly would not boot. I checked my procedures and I was doing everything just like before. Two hours passed and I still couldn't get it to boot up. At that time I remembered that another practitioner once told me, "When the computer or printer has problems, it may not be because something is wrong. It could be due to the evil spirits in other dimensions." So I began to send forth righteous thoughts. Nothing changed after I sent forth righteous thoughts for fifteen minutes, but I firmly believe that Dafa disciples' righteous thoughts must be powerful enough to solve the problem. I again sent forth righteous thoughts towards the computer for over 30 minutes. When I again tried to start it, the computer magically turned on and I successfully printed the materials.
Don't Look Outward When Encountering Problems--One Must look Inward
Early this year I appeared to be very sick. When I ate, my stomach felt swollen. I always felt that I was about to vomit, and my entire body hurt. I couldn't even send forth righteous thoughts for the full fifteen minutes. It hurt so much when I crossed my legs (just crossing them normally - not even doing the half-lotus). Later, I asked my fellow practitioners to send forth righteous thoughts for me, but my problem wasn't getting better. One practitioner said to me, "You need look inside yourself when you have sickness karma. You need to find your shortcomings and eliminate them through cultivation, and that is called having righteous thoughts." I became very angry when I heard that. I thought, "I'm already like this. You don't take the initiative to send forth righteous thoughts for me but instead you say something like that! If I could find the reason, I would not ask for your help." I cried when I got home.
However after some time passed, I again thought about it and I realized that the practitioner really was right! What am I doing wrong? For the three things that Master told us to do, I found that the one I was doing the least diligently was sending forth righteous thoughts. In the past, I didn't attach great importance to sending forth righteous thoughts. This not only affected Falun Dafa practitioners as one body in eliminating the evil factors, but also caused the evil in my own field to not be eliminated in a timely manner. Not only was I led to suffer from persecution by the evil factors, but it also slowed down the process of Master's Fa rectification. When I found the problem, I began sending forth righteous thoughts every hour on the hour. Several days later, my apparent "sickness" disappeared and everything returned to normal.
Master has told us in many lectures that we must study the Fa well and look inward. Often in the past I couldn't follow what Master said. After this tribulation, I fully realized the importance of "looking inward" in cultivation. Now I realize that as long as we follow what Master tells us to do, there is no tribulation we cannot pass. I still have many attachments, but I now have the will to eliminate them in my future cultivation. I am determined to pass all the tests from Master and return home with him.
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