(Clearwisdom.net) During the Beijing Olympics, police rampantly arrested and persecuted Falun Dafa practitioners. Coordinators were arrested and material production sites suffered great losses. One morning, several policemen knocked at my door when my child was alone at home. My child saw them through the peephole, and then called me and asked me not to come home. He did not open the door and took great care of our Falun Dafa books and materials. After the police finally left, we went to a relative's home in another area.
At the relative's home, I looked within to find anything that was not within the Fa. Teacher told us to look within whenever we run into trouble. During that period of time, I was lax and sought comfort. My home was ransacked by the police last year, and they confiscated our computer, printer, satellite dish, Falun Dafa books and other items. In addition, my husband was sentenced to forced labor for a second time. After that, I became more fearful. I kept thinking, "I am too well-known, so I should be careful." On the surface, I created an excuse for myself, that I had a child and parents to take care of. In reality, it was a sense of selfishness that arose out of self-protection and my fear of being persecuted.
During such times I should calm down, study the Fa, look within, get rid of my fear and place great importance on sending forth righteous thoughts. I asked for several days of leave from my workplace, and I studied the Fa in tranquility. I asked myself, "Why am I so fearful? Is it because I couldn't overcome my emotions towards my husband?" I worry about him because of the torture he faces in the labor camp. I couldn't let go of the emotion that I held for my parents and child, especially my child. He was very young and had to live with one of my relatives when my husband and I were in a labor camp.
My child used to study the Fa, but he missed his parents. He often wept, but never in front of our relatives. He was afraid that they would feel bad, and he worried that they would criticize his parents out of misunderstanding. He often went to sleep in tears. Soon after that he became nearsighted. It was the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) that persecuted us and broke up our family, yet they accuse us of ignoring our parents and child.
Thinking about this, I became very resentful. I hoped that the officials and police who participated in persecuting practitioners would suffer retribution immediately. Aren't these attachments? I regarded this persecution from the human perspective instead of the standpoint of a practitioner. I was not compassionate towards them. They are also beings manipulated by the evil, and thus committed wrongdoings against Dafa and its practitioners. If they don't feel remorse, they would be weeded out. We should be feeling pity towards them.
Remembering Teacher's lecture about not avoiding difficulties, I suddenly came to understand that this was a good opportunity to clarify the truth about Falun Gong and the persecution. I thought to myself, "I can't just evade them." Since the evil came to me, I should eliminate the evil that is manipulating these police officers. My heart should be rock-solid instead of being shaken. The environment is created by us Falun Dafa practitioners. We have to eliminate the evil with our righteous thoughts and never accept the evil's reasons for persecuting practitioners.
Teacher said,
"And you are allowed to cultivate while conforming to ordinary people's way of life to the greatest extent. As long as Master says something is okay, you can just go ahead and follow ordinary people's way of doing it, because you are meant to walk your path in that way, and human beings are meant to be saved in that way." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York")
I realized that being persecuted, arrested, tortured and homeless is not an acceptable cultivation state. This is an arrangement of the old forces. The old forces use our attachments as an excuse to take advantage of our shortcomings. They seize upon practitioners' loopholes and use them to interfere in Fa-rectification activities and to destroy our cultivation state. Falun Dafa cultivation is different from all cultivation practices of the past. The old forces are putting practitioners through harmful tests and destroying sentient beings.
As Teacher's students, we are tasked with a great mission, to validate Falun Dafa and save sentient beings! The evil is not worthy of testing practitioners, as our Teacher is protecting us. We should study the Fa diligently and rectify ourselves in Dafa. We are not here to fight with the evil. Practitioners save sentient beings while removing obstacles and negating the persecution.
Another thing is that I show off too much when working with fellow practitioners. I always believed what I understood and enlightened to be correct, and I thought that others should just agree with me. I was unhappy whenever anyone went against my wishes. This is also a negative personality trait. I was stubborn, which I looked at as being strong-minded. After I studied the Fa, I changed some, but I was still far from Dafa's requirements. I looked down on the practitioners who were not diligent, but was jealous of practitioners who were doing the three things well. I have to work and take care of my child and parents and still have to do the three things well. I felt so tired and thought, "Just look at those practitioners who are retired with a pension! Their children all got married. How easy they have it!"
Teacher said,
"A wicked person is dominated by the heart of jealousy. With selfish desire or personal spite, he complains that he is always treated unjustly."(Essentials for Further Advancement)
Teacher said,
"The issue of jealousy is very serious as it directly involves the matter of whether you can complete cultivation practice. If jealousy is not abolished, everything that you have cultivated will become fragile. "(Zhuan Falun, Lecture 7)
After I recognized this attachment, I decided to eliminate it immediately. I also found my attachments to fame and self-interest, showing-off, lust, and others. I don't want those attachments and will eliminate all of them. I want to go back home with Teacher.
After coming to these realizations, I felt more relaxed. That night, I dreamed of many small snakes and centipedes. I asked Teacher for help, and I also recited the formula for sending righteous thoughts and "Mie". I eliminated them completely as soon as I finished reciting the word "Mie" for the third time.
I wanted to return home, but my relatives were afraid that I would be persecuted. They asked me to take a long vacation. I called my workplace and was told that the police had been there several times. I decided to return home.
I went to a fellow practitioner's home after my return, and I shared my experiences with her. She believed that I was not very steady and said, "Follow Teacher. No matter where we are, we are validating Dafa." I thought that maybe Teacher was giving me a hint through the fellow practitioner. Therefore, I strengthened my righteous thoughts and decided that I would only follow Teacher's arrangement.
Soon after I returned to work, the police came to arrest me. In the police station, I thought of Teacher's poem,
Dafa is what you carry everywhere,
Zhen Shan Ren, rooted in the mind;
A great Arhat walks the earth,
Gods and demons fear with awe.
("Benevolent Might" from Hong Yin)
Teacher also said,
"As a Dafa disciple, everything of yours is formed by Dafa and is the most righteous, and it can only be that [you] rectify everything that is not righteous. How could you bow to the evil? How could you promise something to the evil? Even if it doesn't truly come from your heart, it's still giving in to the evil. This is bad conduct for humans, too, and Gods absolutely would not do such a thing." ("Dafa is Indestructible" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I kept sending forth righteous thoughts to disintegrate all of the evil elements manipulating the police. I also asked Teacher to strengthen my resolve. I had to make it through this tribulation and validate the Fa well.
They wanted to ransack my home, but I did not cooperate. I refused to give them my key. I didn't bring it with me or tell them where it was. I also warned them that it is illegal to ransack my home. They claimed that they would leave some books if I gave them the key. I said, "Dafa is more precious than my life. You may take my life (later I enlightened to the point that I can't give my life to the old forces), but you can't take away my Dafa books." Because of this thought, Teacher protected me. They asked someone else to unlock the door and ransacked my home for two hours. I had forty Dafa books, but they didn't find any of them. They found a set of VCDs of Teacher's lectures in Guangzhou but didn't take them.
The superintendent asked me whom I was in contact with, where the materials came from, and if I knew someone. I told him, "Don't ask me such questions. I won't tell you anything. It's for your benefit, because I don't want to see you commit another sin and accumulate more karma." Meanwhile, I looked at him intently, sending forth righteous thoughts to disintegrate all the evil. Soon he stopped asking me questions. Later, I kept on clarifying the truth to them.
I told them that Falun Gong is the Great Law and that it brings great virtue to those who practice it. I told them that it could help improve both mind and body. I also said that Falun Gong has spread to over 80 countries worldwide, but is only persecuted by the CCP in China. Why? Because the CCP advocates the opposite of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I told them that the CCP is doing things to harm China. I also talked about the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. I told them the facts about the staged self-immolation on Tiananmen Square, and I also talked about the natural disasters striking China. I continued to tell them that Heaven is eliminating the CCP. I warned them that they had to quit the CCP to survive. Teacher gave me wisdom and I got better as I went along. The environment was very harmonious. They asked me some questions, and I answered them one by one.
At first the superintendent said that they would send me to a detention center or labor camp because I did not cooperate, but I was not moved. I thought, "You do not have the right to decide, because my Teacher has the final say." After I clarified the truth to him, he changed a lot. He said several times, "How come those guys who went to ransack your home are still not back?" When they came back with nothing that they could use against me, he released me.
I was persecuted this time because my loopholes were taken advantage of by the evil. However, as long as we are firm in Dafa, look within, maintain righteous thoughts and commit only righteous actions, we will be able to overcome anything.
I wanted to share my understandings and experiences with fellow practitioners in the hopes that it might prove useful. If you find anything inappropriate, please kindly point it out.
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