(Clearwisdom.net) The Fa conference is one of the tools used to validate the Fa, and I would like to report on my understanding of the Fa to Master and fellow practitioners.
1. Overcoming the family barrier
After July 1999, I went to Beijing twice to validate the Fa. Although I was not arrested and returned home, my husband was angry with me and forbade me from contacting fellow practitioners or studying the Fa. Quite unlike his usual self, he would beat me if I did not obey. My parents were complaining to me also, because they thought that I had given up my job and family responsibilities. They did not want to listen to my explanations. At first I tried to be patient, realizing that my going to Beijing had put a lot of pressure on them. I wanted to prove that Dafa was good through my actions. I did not study the Fa during the day but read by the street lights instead. After everybody had gone to bed, I would then begin to do the exercises. One time my husband noticed that I was still practicing behind his back. He became really angry and struck and kicked me as hard as he could. The next day my parents found out and said that my husband had done the right thing. They told me that if I continued with my practice, they would report me to the Public Security Bureau.
At that time I did not know about dissolving the evil, but I knew that I should not hide practicing. So I told them, "I will not give up my practice. If you don't like it, I am willing to leave home. If you want to report me, go ahead." As I started packing, they were stunned. My mother said, "We won't push you anymore. You can practice at home." I knew that I had corrected my erroneous concept about the Fa.
My husband did not say any more about my practice, but was harboring a lot of resentment and used every opportunity to physically abuse me. My daily life was still very tough. Later, my husband fell seriously ill and said that I was the source of his problem. I realized that he was really hurt and my negative views of him would only compound the problem. Master said in Zhuan Falun,
"Since human beings have sentimentality, being upset is sentimentality, so are happiness, love, hatred, enjoying doing one thing, resenting doing another thing, preferring one person to another, hobbies, and dislikes. Everything belongs to sentimentality, and everyday people just live for it. Then, as a practitioner and one who rises above and beyond, one should not use this approach to judge things, and one should break away from them."
Since he did not want to listen to me, I decided to act how a practitioner should. When he got angry, I just smiled at him. When he was criticizing me, I did not talk back. I held on to the idea that Master would save him and let him know the facts. When I felt bad, I would recite "True Cultivation" from Essentials for Further Advancement. Gradually, my husband stopped criticizing me and he was recovering from his illness. Finally, one day he said, "You are a good person. Without you I might not have recovered and be alive today. I appreciate what you did and hope you can forgive me for the way I treated you." I replied, "This is the result of my practice. Master told me to act this way and be considerate of others. If you want to thank someone, you should be thankful to Master."
Now, my husband does housework on his own and is supportive of my practice. He learned how to use a computer so that he could help me with Fa-validation. The computer we have at home is dedicated to Fa-validation. When I go out at night to distribute truth clarification materials, he watches our children. He has fully recovered from his illness and is most supportive. Our friends and the doctor thought that my husband's recovery was simply amazing. I know this is because I have conducted myself in accordance with the Fa and have improved my character to a higher level.
2. A small flower among many blooming flowers
We had a very old computer with a 486 processor, but did not know how to use it until August 2000, when I had to get information from the Minghui website. At that time the IP address changed regularly, and I had to rely on fellow practitioners to tell me how to access the website. I downloaded articles and made some selections for flyers. We were using an inkjet printer and it took three minutes to print one page. We followed the suggestion on Minghui and used a one-way contact, but we really did not understand network security. I held on to one thought: we are doing the right thing and the Public Security Bureau has no business with us. My safety depended only on Master. At that time my husband was working in a different city and could not help with computer problems. Fellow practitioners who could help lived far away from me. I could only ask Master for support. There were instances when the computer problems went away on their own and I did not understand how.
There was a time when my father did not want me to get on the Internet. We argued a lot about this issue. Finally, he said that I could use the Internet only that evening. It turned out the phone line had been disconnected that evening and I could not get on anyway. The next day, my neighbors said, "Undercover police officers have been watching our area for a month and have found who used the Internet to get Falun Dafa materials." I asked, "Where?" "It is on the ground floor just below you. It is an Internet cafe. The owner said that he did not go to the Falun Gong site, but they did find emails with Falun Gong materials. Finally, the officers confirmed that the owner was not a practitioner, but the owner was really upset about the matter." I know that Master is looking after practitioners. Although I could not get on the Internet, I could get downloaded articles from other practitioners to make flyers.
Later, I moved to a new residence and got a new computer. I can get on the Internet now to make CD's, and I have a laser printer to make many flyers, booklets, etc. We send flyers to neighboring villages, and many farmers are anxious to see them. Some of them were waiting outside their homes for the booklets and CD's. In 2005, the Epoch Times announced the importance of withdrawing from the CCP's organizations, and many did. I know from Zhuan Falun that,
"Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master."
Without Master's guidance, I could not have accomplished anything.
3. Being serious about Fa-study and doing the three things
Before 1999, I did very little Fa-study. I would read just one chapter of Zhuan Falun a day and occasionally read other articles. Later I noticed that many practitioners did a lot more and "Minghui Weekly" articles also indicated the importance of Fa-study. I felt pretty miserable. A practitioner said to me, "Master told us to spend more time on studying the Fa. We will be better off doing that." On returning home I found "Message" in Essentials for Further Advancement II,
"As a Dafa disciple, in order to do Fa-rectification things well and to consummate everything of yours well, you need to study the Fa a lot. No matter how busy you are, you cannot skip Fa-study. This is what can best ensure your reaching Consummation."
I understood that I needed to do more and now I read three chapters a day. I feel really energetic and am able to do a job quickly. All the tools I use are working well, even though they are old. I can concentrate very well in sending forth righteous thoughts. During the day I study the Fa and organize materials and prepare flyers. In the evening I work with other practitioners to distribute materials to expose the evil and save sentient beings.
I went with three other practitioners to a village to write messages on poles and walls. Two of us would write while the other two sent forth righteous thoughts. We wrote, "Falun Dafa is good," "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good," " and "The Chinese Communist Party will perish. Withdraw to save yourself." I could feel the turning of Falun in my hand, as Master was using my hand to do the writing. When I was walking along a narrow road, I felt like I was walking on clouds. It was already dark out, but I saw light coming out of the words we wrote. I saw Master in the sky smiling and looking at us. He was followed by many divine beings, some of whom were beating drums to encourage us. A few days later, a practitioner came to see me and handed me a long list of names of those who had withdrawn from the CCP. She said that lots of villagers who had not wanted to withdraw in the past came to ask her to help them to do so.
I do not have the proper words to thank Master. I can only work hard, do the three things, and hopefully, return home with Master. I am limited by the level I am at. Please point out anything that is improper.
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