(Clearwisdom.net)
1. Predestined Relationship with Falun Dafa
One day when I was five, I was playing on a stone stool in front of my house when I saw a young man about 20 years old appear in front of me. He looked at me for five minutes and then disappeared. I always wondered who he was. As I grew up, I gradually forgot this incident until I read Zhuan Falun in 1995 and saw Teacher's picture. All of sudden I remembered. That young man was Teacher! I felt that I was predestined to cultivate Falun Dafa. Otherwise, I would not have seen Teacher when I was a child.
I started cultivating Falun Dafa in 1996. However, I did not cultivate solidly during the personal cultivation period, 1992 to 1999, before the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started to persecute Falun Gong on July 20, 1999. I did not take Teacher's words deep into my heart. Though I was doing the exercises and studying the Fa, I did not follow the requirements of the Fa completely. In 2004, my attachment to affection between a man and a woman and also my attachment about the limited time until Fa Rectification caused me to gradually stop studying the Fa and doing the exercises. I also stopped sending forth righteous thoughts and eventually stopped cultivation. Two precious years were then wasted.
One evening at the beginning of 2006, when I was on my way home, I suddenly saw a lot of Faluns about the size of a thumb in one dimension. I thought passively, "Why am I seeing this? I am not a practitioner anymore. Just close my Celestial Eye so that I won't see this and think about cultivation anymore." However, the stronger my wish not to see it, the more I could see. Every evening I saw Faluns. And they were bigger each day. When they became the size of a fist, I thought, "Is it time for the Fa to rectify the human world when these Faluns become so big that they connect to each other and cover the whole sky?" All of a sudden words from the Fa appeared in my mind (later I realized that it was Teacher who put this Fa into my head):
"Whoever misses out on this historic opportunity, whoever misses out on this chance, when you realize what you've missed out on you won't even want to live even if you are allowed to!" ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference").
To cultivate or not to cultivate? These two thoughts kept fighting in my head. I was deeply bothered. All my family members but two sisters were practitioners. But I did not want to talk to my sisters as I was afraid of being laughed at. At one family gathering, my sister asked me to drink wine. Even though I had stopped cultivating, I still thought that I should not do those things that a practitioner does not do, so I said that I would not drink. My sisters said, "You are just like grass, falling to any side the wind blows you." Now when I think back, Teacher was using their mouths to tell me to cultivate firmly, but I did not enlightened then. Finally, one day, my righteous thoughts overcame my human notions. I decided to go back to cultivation and hurry up to do well the three things that Dafa practitioners should do.
2. The Seriousness of Cultivation
I found a practitioner who had given up cultivation due to persecution. I first helped her quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations and then I gave her many truth-clarification materials. She understood the Fa and said that she would take up cultivation again. I gave my copy of Zhuan Falun to her and copied all of Teacher's Fa lectures onto an MP3 player for her. Every week I gave her copies of the Minghui Weekly (a weekly publication by the Minghui website, the Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net). Seeing her come back to Dafa, I was both happy and ashamed. I was happy to see that with Teacher's benevolent help and strengthening, a lost disciple came back. But I also felt ashamed for not helping her much in the past several years. I felt that I was not worthy of Teacher's grace. I wanted to try my best to help other practitioners to make up for my mistake. So whenever I heard about practitioners not being in a good cultivation state, I went with other practitioners to see them. We would share our understanding of the Fa, help them eliminate the interference, and strengthen their righteous thoughts so that they could catch up with the Fa rectification process. When practitioners were persecuted, I sent the news to the Minghui website and also passed it on to other practitioners. We informed fellow practitioners to send forth the righteous thoughts for these practitioners and eliminate the evil in other dimensions.
I also experienced the superior power of righteous thoughts. In 2006, I heard that a former practitioner had returned home. He was strongly interfered with by his family. Though he did not want to give up Dafa, his family watched him closely and did not let him study the Fa or do exercises, not to mention clarify truth about Falun Dafa to other people. I got his phone number and tried to call him. I called four times but my call just could not go though. I realized that there was evil interference, so I started sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil in our region. But the call still did not go through. I said in my heart to Teacher, "Our benevolent and magnificent Teacher, please strengthen me. Please completely eliminate every evil life and factor that interferes with and blocks disciples. No matter what, I must see that practitioner today." After I sent out this thought, I dialed the number and it worked! As I met him several times, his righteous thoughts became strong. He asked for a copy of Zhuan Falun and started taking sending forth the righteous thoughts seriously.
I also realized the seriousness of cultivation. As a practitioner, if we can't give up fame, self interest or sentiment, it will be very dangerous for us. The old forces can take advantage of it. There was a senior practitioner in our region. Her son left home and went into hiding due to the persecution. After the Sujiatun atrocity (where the CCP was harvesting and selling practitioners' organs for profit) was exposed, she could not sleep because she kept worrying about her son due to her attachment to him. This situation lasted for more than six months. Her health deteriorated greatly. Her breast cancer, which was under control, then came back. After I returned to cultivation, I asked all practitioners in our region to send forth righteous thoughts for her. I also went to her home with practitioners who had also gone through illness tribulations to share with her. A practitioner with an opened Celestial Eye also saw that Teacher cleared away many black materials for her.
When she realized her attachment and tried to let it go, she became severely ill. She had passively endured the pain for several years and felt that she could not do anything about it. And she became unclear on the Fa. I went to her home to share with her many times but it had no effect. Later I got busy when I went to another city to learn the technical skills for setting up a material production center, so I talked to her less. She died when I was out of town. This event was a big shock to us. I wrote this here to call it to the attention of fellow practitioners: Never forget your own cultivation when doing Dafa work.
3. Teacher Resolved Everything for Me
It has been 12 years since I started cultivation. I have a very deep understanding of "cultivation is up to you, gong is up to the master." (Zhuan Falun, Lecture 2)
In early 2007, because we had a gap in our whole body, the police arrested nine practitioners. Many of them were from large material production centers. We lost several computers, printers, and more than ten thousand yuan in cash. Minghui Weekly stopped arriving for practitioners in three regions. Nor could we produce truth-clarification materials anymore. Some time ago I saw these practitioners had too much work and worried about their safety as they might not have enough time to study the Fa. I wanted to set up a material center in my home to reduce their workload. However, these practitioners were arrested before I started. What should I do? Suddenly I recalled that Minghui Weekly had mentioned that some practitioners traveled several hundred miles to other places to learn computer technical skills. I could do that, too!
I had a few relatives who were also practitioners in another city. There were many practitioners and many material centers in their city as many practitioners knew the technology. I wanted to go there to learn, but I did not have money to buy the equipment. I talked to my practitioner relatives in my town. They got the money for me quickly. For safety and convenience, I bought a laptop and an ink jet printer. Then I went with a relative to visit the relatives in that city. They invited their technical practitioners to teach me. I went there four times and I learned how to do it. Looking back, all I had was just a wish. From money to technology, Teacher resolved all the challenges for me.
Above is just my own understanding. If you see any gaps, please point them out to me.
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