(Clearwisdom.net) I am a graduate student at one of the top universities in China. Because I scored very high on tests, I was able to enter a master's program directly, without having to obtain a bachelor's degree. During my years of cultivation practice and saving sentient beings, Teacher has arranged every step of my life. I have been very thankful. However, since entering college, I have experienced much interference due to the atmosphere on campus. I feel it is difficult for me to be a diligent practitioner whenever I walk into the school compound. Yet, every time I think of this problem, I always remember what Teacher frequently reminds us of: any problem can be solved as long as you really study the Fa. My father encouraged me, "Writing articles not only is a process of xinxing improvement, but also a way of experience sharing with fellow practitioners who are in college." This is why I encouraged myself to write this article.
Balancing Fa study and school study
In my junior year, I was lucky enough to have a room all by myself, so I was able to get up every morning at 6:00 a.m. and send forth righteous thoughts and do the standing exercises. Afterwards, I went to classes. Then I went to a self-study room and studied the Fa--sometimes all morning or all day. During that period of time, my schedule was tightly arranged. After studying the Fa well, learning my school studies became very simple and easy. During the latter part of my third year, events in my life always turned out like this: originally, I was supposed to review my homework in a self-study room, but instead, I read Dafa books and just kept reading them. Reading the Fa took up most of my time, almost every day. As to how my test scores would be, I did not care much about this issue, and I ended up being the top student in my class. Having such good results without spending much time viewing my homework, I believe, was the result of learning the Fa well. As long as you dissolve yourself in Dafa, learning regular topics can be easy.
I am a practitioner who does not have my third eye open, but I always feel Teacher right by my side, giving me reminders and hints. During my fourth year, I did not study the Fa as much. At that time, every graduating student was given a secret code of six letters, enabling each to access graduation procedures. When I received mine, I was surprised to see the code EUXFLG. The first three letters, if they are read backward, XUE, meaning "learn" in Chinese, and to read all six letters together, would mean: "Learn Falun Gong!" Our compassionate Teacher was reminding me to study the Fa well.
Eliminating the attachment of dependency
Since my parents are also practitioners, every time I returned home for holidays or breaks, we often encouraged one another to study the Fa, do the exercises, and, with concerted efforts, distribute truth-clarifying materials. In this environment, my thoughts were serene and clear. Whenever and wherever I was, I always considered myself a Dafa practitioner, and I did whatever a practitioner should do.
However, whenever I returned to school, my feelings turned sour because classmates often acted immorally due to the influence of society's downward spiral. You cannot imagine how hard and painful it was to live in this kind of environment. Through a truth-clarifying conversation, a fellow graduate student became a new practitioner and shared a dorm room with me. While in school, I was expecting him to be a diligent practitioner and to help me be diligent. Instead, he indulged in Internet games and Internet novels. I became worried over his behavior. Gradually, I tried to pay more attention to him. I very much wanted to say to him, "The Fa is so great, why aren't you learning it? What's so good about playing games? Is it not just a program?" Gradually, I became frustrated with him--unhappy about him not learning the Fa, unhappy about him not going forward, and I even did not want to get along with him. In the dorm, I fell behind in Fa study, doing the exercises, and even far more behind on truth-clarification. Gradually, I became lost among everyday people.
Regarding the new fellow practitioner, I should have looked within--I should not be attached to the problem of him being diligent or not. I overlooked my own problem. I wasted far too much time and energy worrying about this. Why could I not devote my energy and time to saving other? Was it not pushing my own problem outward onto others when I should have cultivated myself? If I had recognized my own problem, I would not have been bothered by the fellow practitioner playing Internet games. After all, he was a new practitioner: it is not easy to get rid of certain old attachments, and I had similar problems in the past. As long as my field was upright, his attachments could be altered. No long after I changed, he quit playing games, and he also wanted to study Fa and do the exercises.
Now that I think of it, the thought I had in college was ridiculous. Cultivation is cultivating oneself; why pay attention to others' problems? Furthermore, Teacher taught us to look within. Why was I not willing to do so regarding this problem? People around me are the ones I have to save, and they are waiting. How could I wait for them to produce an atmosphere in which I could become diligent? I found within myself a deeply concealed mindset of dependency, not wanting to steadily improve myself within the Fa.
Eliminating the attachment of Internet games
During graduate school, I failed to break through the Internet blockade, so I lost my connection with the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom). Thus I lost the environment in which levels of cultivation could be raised through experience sharing. The public Internet stations were full of sexual content and video games, which could be quickly downloaded. People around me thought this was enjoyment and relaxation. If I deviated just a little bit from Dafa, this problem alone caused me to downslide.
As a graduate student, the need for using a computer became more and more frequent, but I also started using computers for downtime and entertainment. With this kind of dispirited sentiment, while doing scientific research, I would spend a little time on the computer in the morning, but I with no results, causing mental irritation. Then I would download a movie or video to deal with the boredom. Gradually, I started watching videos and then started playing a game, and I would end up mentally and physically tired.
After not playing the game for a little while, I would feel that I was missing something, and I would want to play again. However, every time I watched this kind of video game, I became sleepy, and after watching, my intestines felt tainted, I had pain in stomach, and I was depleted of energy all over, feeling as if something had been sucked away from my body.
One day I was sneakily playing these games at home, and my father came into my room. He screamed, "Blood is all over the place-your computer monitor is shooting out blood--it's terrifying!" Then he saw what I was playing and stopped me. In the past, when school was in session, halfway across China, when they felt a headache or upset, they always knew what I was doing when they called.
It was rather difficult for me to be a diligent practitioner in school. Sometimes, I even thought of quitting graduate school, thinking of how wonderful it would be to stay home, just cultivating. However, each time I remembered what Teacher said:
"As a practitioner, if you want to rise above and beyond, you must use this criterion--not the standard of everyday people--to assess things. Thus, there is this external interference. There is more to it, such as homosexuality, sexual freedom, and drug abuse." (Zhuan Falun, 2000 translation, Lecture Nine, "A Clear and Clean Mind")
Even though the external atmosphere or interference was like this, I should not fall into it. Not being a diligent practitioner wasn't because of bad interference, but because of insufficient Fa study and not using the Fa to guide myself.
Each time I craved playing an Internet game, Teacher gave me hints. Either I was not able to get a turn on the computer or there was something wrong with the game itself. I tried different games, but they would not work.
The roads Dafa practitioners walk on are being left for mankind to follow. They will have to learn from us. Divine Performing Arts performances around the world are giving people the real, orthodox culture. Lately, I have been listening to Dafa practitioners' music. The more I listen to it. the better and purer the experience. Its beauty penetrates minds and hearts, cleansing the listeners of ordinary thoughts. While writing this article, I heard Teacher's voice from Teacher's picture, "Waiting for your good news."
Just my personal experience sharing--please kindly correct my errors. .
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