(Clearwisdom.net) Before I started practicing Falun Gong, I was a disagreeable and snobbish person. When I obtained the Fa in 1998, I understood the Fa from an emotional level. I knew that Falun Gong teaches its students to become better people, so I decided to study the Fa and practice Falun Gong exercises with fellow practitioners. Together we traveled to rural areas to spread Falun Gong. Meanwhile, I got rid of bad habits and conducted myself according to the standard of the Fa.
When the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started to suppress Falun Gong on July 20, 1999, I didn't have a clear understanding of the Fa because I had spent a limited amount of time studying the Fa. I thought I had been cultivating myself to act like a hero and clarify the truth to people. Eventually I gave up practicing Falun Gong all together due to my attachments of fame, self-interest and sentimentality.
With hints from Teacher and the help of fellow practitioners, I picked up cultivation again in the New Year of 2006. After the gap of six years, I finally realized what I had missed. After I overcame regret and remorse, I calmed down and started studying the Fa and practicing the exercises again. I studied twice all the articles Teacher had published for the past six years. I found my true identity and tried to catch up on the path to divinity.
In March 2006, I started to memorize the Fa. So far I have memorized Zhuan Falun from cover to cover three times and have felt what Teacher said in a poem. Teacher said,
"Study Fa without idling, changing in the process" ("Advance Wholeheartedly, Enlighten Righteously" in Hong Yin II)
While memorizing the Fa, I gradually melted into the Fa. I am able to understand many things from the perspective of the Fa. I am able to think of others in everything I do. I am able to treat the Fa as my foundation. I have learned to search inward. As I search inward for attachments, my xinxing level is elevated. Gradually I become less attached to fame, wealth and sentimentality.
I cannot see other dimensions with my Celestial Eye, but I believe in Teacher. I know studying the Fa more will give me more power to eradicate evil lives in other dimensions. At first, I sent forth righteous thoughts for 15 minutes at a time as though I were merely getting a task done. After having studied Teacher's articles related to sending forth righteous thoughts, I realized the importance of sending forth righteous thoughts. I stopped regarding sending forth righteous thoughts as a chore. Instead, I now see it as a responsibility I must shoulder. In addition to the four set hours, I try to send forth righteous thoughts every hour if my schedule permits it and it is appropriate for the location. I also try to maintain righteous thoughts at all times. Before I go out to distribute truth-clarification materials, I will send forth righteous thoughts first to eliminate all the Communist specters, dark minions and rotten demons behind all the sentient beings in the areas I will be traveling to. I do this because I hope all the lives will understand the truth about Falun Gong and be saved. When I distribute truth-clarification materials, I keep sending forth righteous thoughts so that more sentient beings will be saved after they read Falun Gong's truth-clarification materials. Every time I feel I have insufficient righteous thoughts, I will recite "What's There to Fear" from Hong Yin II, "Benevolent Might" from Hong Yin and Teacher's other articles to reinforce my righteous thoughts.
One day a man produced a material I had distributed and asked me, "Did you distribute this?" I had only just returned to my cultivation practice, but I didn't have any impure thoughts. I said, "Sir, you will understand it once you read it. It is good for you." Next I explained to him Falun Gong is good. He didn't talk back and I continued my task.
Teacher said,
"Dafa disciples are now sentient beings' only, sole hope for salvation." ("Righteous Thoughts")
I started to distribute the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and persuade people to withdraw from the CCP and its two affiliated student leagues. I must grasp time to save people. Like many fellow practitioners, I started with my family, friends and classmates. Then I reached out to villages far away. I never miss any wedding, funeral or reunion. In order to save more sentient beings, I have re-established contact with distant friends and relatives.
My mother, a fellow practitioner, is highly respected in my extended family. My mother and I often call on relatives living in villages and clarify the truth to them. I do most of the talking and my mother complements. Most of our relatives we have called on have withdrawn from the CCP and its affiliated leagues. We have made two such trips and about 50 relatives have severed ties with the CCP.
As the Fa-rectification progresses, Falun Gong practitioners are expected to create as many truth-clarification material sites as flowers blooming on a spring prairie. I decided to become one of the blooming flowers as well. With the help of a fellow practitioner, I turned my home into a truth-clarification material site. At first, I was afraid to even go to the Minghui website. After I reinforced my Fa study and righteous thoughts, after I read fellow practitioners' articles on the subject, and after I saw those beautifully made truth-clarification materials, I decided that it is imperative to have more people read such wonderful materials. I thought of creating truth-clarification materials. I have learned to download, compile and print truth-clarification materials.
The process of building a truth-clarification material site is a process of cultivating my heart. I still recall the day when a fellow practitioner delivered a printer. Fear got the better of me again. Whenever the printer made a noise, my heart rate went up. I turned around and found the fellow practitioner looking calmly. Then I thought, "Can I produce materials of good quality in my current state of mind? Can I save sentient beings?" As I reinforced my righteous thoughts, fear diminished. While I watched one sheet of truth-clarification material after another come out of the printer, ready to save sentient beings, fear of the printer's noise disappeared. I now enjoy the sound of the printer at work.
For every single day since I returned to the Fa, I have basked in the light of the Fa bestowed by Teacher. There is no excuse for me not to be diligent in my cultivation practice. I keep a diary every day because I want to reflect on each and every thought and action of mine daily and see if they are in compliance with the Fa. This is so that I will improve more quickly. Based on the Fa's requirements and compared to diligent fellow practitioners, I am still lagging behind. But I shall motivate myself with Teacher's words to govern myself more strictly. I must be more and more diligent on my path of cultivation!
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