(Clearwisdom.net) I used to feel pleased with myself when I did the three things well, or when I was in a good cultivation state; otherwise, I would feel displeased. To me, it meant that I paid a lot of attention to my cultivation and that I would motivate myself to be diligent in my cultivation practice. Today while I was watching "Falun Dafa--Teaching the Fa to Australian Falun Dafa Practitioners" again, I suddenly realized that they were not signs of diligence, but signs of attachment to self.
For example, I felt pleased when I got up early to practice the Falun Gong exercises. Also, when I overslept in the morning and had only over an hour of time to practice the exercises, I would feel very frustrated and defeated so that I went back to sleep and failed to get up at 6 a.m. to send forth righteous thoughts. When I was in a good mood, I would be interested in studying the Fa; otherwise, I might not be interested in studying the Fa. I was pleased when I distributed a lot of truth-clarification materials about Falun Gong; otherwise, I would be disappointed and feel bad about myself. When I successfully persuaded a person to quit the Chinese Communist Party and/or its two affiliated student leagues, I would be pleased; otherwise, I would be unhappy.
Through a hint from Teacher, I searched inward and realized that everything I had ever done was done out of selfish pursuit. I practiced the exercises for myself; I studied the Fa for myself; and I distributed the materials for myself.
Teacher said,
"[...] what you remove in the cultivation process is none other than the attachment to self" ("Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students")
Now I realize that the attachment to my own cultivation state is a form of attachment to self. It is a form of selfishness that I must remove. I realize that we study the Fa and practice the exercises not only to upgrade our cultivation level, but also to upgrade our ability and capabilities to save sentient beings; to generate divine powers to eliminate evil beings in other dimensions, and to save sentient beings so as to assist Teacher in the Fa-rectification.
This concludes my personal insights on this subject. Please kindly correct anything inappropriate in my understanding.
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