(Clearwisdom.net)
Dear Respected Master and Fellow Practitioners,
I have herein summarized the major portion of my past cultivation experiences to report to Master and to share with fellow practitioners.
Overjoyed to Obtain Dafa
I was overjoyed to learn Dafa in November 1998. Before then, I had been hoping to learn some form of qigong that could help me both mentally and physically. During my search, I learned some phony qigong and was disappointed after practicing those schools for some time. I was fortunate to borrow the books Zhuan Falun and Essentials for Further Advancement from an acquaintance. I spent a couple days reading through both books and felt that the words and principles in both books were well said. I then went to a bookstore and purchased all the Falun Dafa books.
My understanding of Dafa at that time was still at an affectionate and emotional level. The writing style in Zhuan Falun was really refreshing to me, and I felt as if a compassionate elder was talking to me. I spent a few days reading through all the books and followed the instructions in The Great Consummation Way of Falun Dafa to learn the exercises. Later I found a group practice site at a local park. I joined group study, group practice, and the efforts to introduce Falun Dafa to the public.
Upholding Righteous Thoughts in Troubled Surroundings
On July 20, 1999, Jiang Zemin started the persecution of Falun Gong practitioners on a large scale. I was often unable to sleep all night and cried. Threatened with losing my job, an officer at my place of employment ordered me to turn in my Falun Dafa books and ordered me to report to him details about my cultivation. This officer has since died of cancer. I was determined that, no matter what, I would not turn in my Dafa books and I would not betray Dafa, ever.
I was once swayed by intense pressure from different sources. I thought about not cultivating and waited for some time to see what would happen next. I shared this thought with another, non-local fellow practitioner over the phone. She said, "You had better think clearly, because Falun Dafa is not a common qigong school. If you give it up, you will probably regret it later. You have to study the Fa more." What this fellow practitioner said encouraged me, and I realized that I could not give up, that I truly didn't want to give up Dafa. In this difficult environment, I continued to study the Fa even more diligently. One night, when I felt so bad about the persecution of Dafa in China and couldn't fall asleep, I heard the clear sound of the exercise music in my ears and immediately no longer felt sad about Dafa. Instead, I felt at peace and soothed. I was thinking, "Who is practicing the exercises with loud music and is not afraid of being caught by the evil party?" I got up and walked to the window to listen to the music, but it was very quiet outside. When I returned to my bed, I clearly heard the music again in my ears and was immediately enlightened that Master was encouraging me.
Letting Go of Attachments in Fa Rectification Cultivation
Looking back on the path I have followed the past nine years, I feel very much honored. It is because we are disciples of our respected Master, because we are part of the progression of Fa-rectification, and because we can let go of many attachments and bad mentalities of everyday people in this unprecedented period of Fa Rectification.
One major attachment I have had for a long time was being attached to the attachments of others: I always noticed the problems of others, in particular of fellow practitioners. When I observed that their words and conduct did not comply with the Fa and pointed this out to them several times, I felt quite uncomfortable when they strongly defended themselves. I accordingly had the thought that I had belittled them.
After reading experience sharing articles written by fellow practitioners on the Clearwisdom website, I began to realize that my problem on the surface was being obsessed with the attachments of others. About the same time, the video with Master's "Fa Teaching Given to the Australian Practitioners" also became available. I watched it three times in a row, and felt that Master's tone was grave and serious and that he was talking to me. Listening to Master lecture, I simply felt like crying. I thought about how, no matter how slack we are in our cultivation, Master always treats us with compassion and doesn't want to abandon any practitioner, while I belittled fellow practitioners who didn't understand the Fa clearly and spoke to them in a contentious way. I swore to Master in my heart that I would let go of this attachment. If I didn't, I wouldn't deserve to be Master's disciple. In one sitting meditation, I suddenly recognized that behind my attachment to the attachments of others there lies a mentality of attachment to myself. I looked deeper into this mentality and found that this attachment is a proliferation of selfishness, which is the root of everything. I felt so relieved, as if I had just set down a huge weight. This "selfishness" is the source of all evil things and is the characteristic of degenerated beings in the old cosmos. Dafa disciples are the Buddhas, the Taos, and the Deities advancing into the future new cosmos, so we must be determined to completely let go of this selfish mentality.
When I became enlightened to these principles, I began being considerate of fellow practitioners. I knew that the financial situation of one female practitioner was a little tough. She had to take care of her daughter attending high school and needed to find a job. I thought that she might like to discontinue her involvement in operating the truth clarification material production site, but hesitated to say so directly. I told her that she needed to support her daughter so that she could attend school and that that was the right to do. I told her that, if she was unable to help out at the site, it would be OK, that we could manage the workload. Later, when we were a little bit tight with manpower during busier periods, other practitioners joined the team. The site now continues to run smoothly and steadily.
I still have many more attachments I need to let go of completely. For example, I still find it difficult to do face-to-face truth clarification in public, because I have been deterred by human mentalities such as fear and worry. I must let go of these attachments that are deterring my diligent advancement in cultivation.
October 11, 2008
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